I More Than Survived

I More Than Survived
G

Green

Registrant
Sometimes when I visit this website I have to remind myself that many of us not only survived, but prospered in some ways. The following is how I prospered. Others might want to add their accomplishments.

Even though I was abused by my mother from age 4 to 13, I have more than survived:

1)I have been married for 32 years.

2)I am a successful teacher and have helped out many of my students over the years..

3)I have a son who is a very successful lawyer.

4)I have helped members of the younger generation break the syndrome that the extended family is involved in.

5)I own an apartment in the Upper East Side of Manhattan.


Harry
 
Harry,

Thanks for starting an overdue thread. We need to tell the world about the good things that we bring to life.

I have a beautiful wife and three beautiful kids.

I have been successful working in the government and in private industry.

I have been a volunteer in my civil and religious communities, helping the homeless, battered women, and children in my parish and at my children's school.

I was an executive committee member for a local cultural organization for more than a decade.

I'm not financially rich (darn Powerball! :( ) but I have built some real riches into my life.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Hey, you wanna help a survivor get his college education and surpase what his father did and get a good family line going?


=)
Good to hear some actually make it. Sometimes I feel like I never will. 32 years old and still in community college. I suck!
LOL
 
i still believe.
 
Here are some of my accomplishments.

1)I was married to a wonderful loving supportive woman for over 33 years who I lost last year and have two very smart and talented daughters.

2)I am successful in my career and have a patent on some work that I did. I still enjoy my chosen field after 30 years. I do volunteer work in the community.

3)I've been in therapy for six years after being silent for 38 years and have made amazing progress from where I was before.

4)California real estate has been very good to me, I own a few rental properties.

5)I survived two cancer surgeries, the radiation treatments and the death of my spouse in the last 18 months or so.

6)I feel fairly good about myself right now and have hope for the future.

I know that my life isn't perfect, that there are things that happened to me and things that I did that I wish never happened but I've come to realize that I can't change the past I can only live today, now.

Take good care of yourselves,

Steve
 
Accomplishments - not something I often thought about recently but here goes - there won't be much here that's money related although I would like to win the lottery:

1/ No children of my own but 3 times godfather (not religous but took it from the point of making sure the kids grew up OK - hypocritical maybe but I've stood by those kids).

2/ Parents of 2 of my God Children have asked me to be guardian if anything happens to them (the parents! He has two sisters / She has 6 brothers - I think that is a compliment). *The third God Child was recently married & has a little son of her own (fantastic little family - they shine).

3/ I am none judgemental of others although everyday I hear people fault finding about people they do not know or attempt to know.

4/ I work in a Supervisory Position & manage to treat Employees as People & not just another resource (not a common trait).

5/ I have a home in which other people are welcome - it is not a show house. I offer food / drink and a warm welcome (even if I feel crap).

6/ I worked in a Special Needs Environment for over 5 years and learned much from the experience. *In England, Special Needs is a description of individuals that may have learning/mobility or other issues that impact upon the way they live their lives.

7/ I actually managed to win a National Award for my Supervisory Work (only one awarded nationally per year)- this was obviously avhieved because I had a very supportive group of Team Leaders.

8/ I know that people love me even when I don't love myself - they tell me how much I've got going for me & I know they are right (I wish I could carry them all around in my pocket to badger me when I feel sorry for myself).

9/ On the financial side, I have my own home, car, guitars, books & most importantly a computer that has led me to this site.

*I bet you all have achievements that you can be proud of. In the worst moments, that is surviving & gaining hope from this site.

**It's never too late to achieve - I worked dead end jobs until I was around 30 & then started to re-educate myself. I am now in middle management & reasonably successful. I am now for the first time utilising professional help at 46. I intend to achieve more. Success is out there for us all - do it!
***I don't know if these are the type of achievements that were meant in the original posting, but to me they are the type of achievements that we sometimes overlook.

A challenge to you all - set yourselves some positive goals & go for them. We can then read about more achievements here - the more the better.
 
No money, but...I take responsibility for my actions and have developed better work habits so that I can depend on myself to accomplish my goals.

I have a job I really like and have great relationships with my managers.

I look people in the eye now when I meet them, and I give as much or more than I get to the people I care for.

I can let myself write again for the first time in twenty years.

I care about my life and am working every day to reach long term goals instead of looking for momentary comfort and distractions.

I guess a lot of that is internal stuff, but its starting to show in the way I relate to the world, so in a few years, who knows... :)

Jim
 
Hello Jim - looking at the time it's early evening over there (7:27pm) - over here it's 00:30 & not long before I should be sleeping.

Jim if you are working with people you get along with, that's good. Looking people in the eye is even better. Writing can be very creative and satisfactory regardless of whether it is intended for yourself or if sometime you intend to publish. Keep going for it - remember that richness takes many forms. If you are warm / housed & fed then the only other richness you need is love (for yourself & from others). Flash cars & apartments may be nice at the end of the day but: cars get you from A to B / flash apartments are somewhere to live & not necessarily homes.

Hope you achieve all that you wish... Rik ... England
 
Thanks Rick,

Your accomplishment post had a lot of good stuff in it. It sounds like you give and receive a lot from the peole around you.

Over here in the US you feel rich if you have food, shelter, clothes and health insurance (which I do, thankfully). :p

Sleep tight.
Jim
 
I've been married 29 years - big party this year folks :D

I've held the same job for 25 years, I used to love it but no longer do. It's time to move on I think. But I'll miss the guys I work WITH, we respect each other - which is rare these days.

So, I'm learning to become a counsellor, which is damned hard work. But I love the challenge and the knowledge that someday I will make a difference to someone just like me.

I also found out that my brain does work - not always as I expect, but better than I expected :eek:

When I get time I help run one the most successfull off road clubs in the area. It keeps me sane :rolleyes:

I've learned that despite all the crap I love my family, although that took a long time and they still have their moments ;)

I have a lovely old house, that I helped restore with my father in law.

The only people who don't like me - I don't care about anyway :D

I run my own life now, I no longer wander about aimlessly.

And finally, there's this place. And I'm very proud to be associated with MS.
 
Whoa...

This is a positively INSPIRING thread. Thank you for starting it, Green, and I am so impressed with the achievements of my brother survivors. (I am kind of shocked at how quickly I have started to use that term, but it is only because I feel it is appropriate!)

Well, OK... in the face of my abuse, I have achieved the following:

~ been married to an absolutely terrific girl for 9.5 years (another big party coming up this summer!)

~ worked overseas for two years as a church volunteer, became fluent in a foreign language

~ completed college and graduate school, and have since started medical school

~ served my country as a Navy Corpsman field medic with the United States Marine Corps

~ mentored inner-city kids in their college applications and religious undertakings

~ pursuing goals to become a father, a physician, a medical officer, and a bunch of other stuff that is probably only important to me

~ actively supported my wife in her professional endeavors

~ remained active in my faith, and helped others to do so during difficult times

~ been a support to friends who have come out of the closet under less-than-ideal circumstances

~ enjoy long-term, healthy friendships with men and women

~ BROKEN THE CYCLE OF ABUSE!

The abusers can take a flying #$%@&() leap -- they have not stopped us from becoming men of integrity... which is a title they can never claim.

Stay the course, gents!

Kurt
 
FIRST of all:
Originally posted by buddah:
32 years old and still in community college. I suck!
LOL
Click to expand...
It's a dam good thing you put that 'LOL' at the end there! 32 years old and still persevering, working toward a betterment of your life, learning new things, fulfilling the limitless potential of yourself...NOT 'I suck'!!!!! ;)

Okay, so again, from me, thank you for posting this thread. It is good time, as the new year is a good time for self reflection, realizing the goals we have met in the year, and the work we have achieved toward others.

I am finally starting to realize that I am more then the sums of the abuse done to me. I was a person before the abuse, no matter how young. I am a person after it. It does not define me, it is not all that I am created of. And so, here are some successes in my life:

Hm, okay, I guess first, my dog doesn't bite! haha

I have enough in my life, materialistically, to be comfortable, and to be able to give to others.

I am a college graduate (although not a very motivated one, haha)

I have achieved a certain level of my professional life, and continue to be able to 'work' in something I greatly enjoy, and to share it and teach it to others

I have my family, who now knows of much of what has happened with me, and is still as loving and supportive as they can be in their various roles and personalities

I have the most exquisite collection of close friends I could ever dream of, who are a constant source of love, support and understanding, even when I don't understand myself

I am slowly finding myself able to touch and be touched, to give and recieve love and affection with people who I know are honest with their intentions

I have peace and love in my relationship with my papi (no, not my father)

I have a girlfriend! (My God, I said it!) And she loves me! And I LOVE HER! (God, part two, I said THAT as well!!)

I have listed these in order of increasing importance. So, I guess the final one would have to be: I'm beginning to forgive myself, accept myself, and like myself some.

Thank you again, for allowing hope and success to be valued in this thread, and allow me to think positively for a change.

Leosha
 
Old post old themes all real good all worth reading again. Wonder how these men are today some 7 years later. I'm betting they continue to heal, just like many of us.

Be well all.

Keith
 
kb8715 said:
Wonder how these men are today some 7 years later.
Keith
Click to expand...

I went and looked at many of their old posts to see. One quit because of a dispute on the site, but it appears that most have moved on, and are in various stages of recovery.

So many conversations that short of being years old, are the same discussions we are having today.

I dont like to post on topics so old, since the original writers will likely never reply. Here are my favorites.

Here is one whose beginning resembles my own = with an endding.
https://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45641&Number=338760#Post338760

Here is another recovery. He is now fighting the cause elsewhere.
https://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=31901&Number=234071#Post234071
 
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