I messed up.

I messed up.
S

survive75

Registrant
Hey guys... had a really bad incident this morning with a co-worker. (Started with a fight from yesterday that triggered something fierce in me.) It came to a head today and I am freaking out because I feel ashamed, embarrassed, etc. with myself for letting it get so out of control.

I am feeling suicidal (seems to be my first instinct to get out of a tough situation) so I called my therapist on my lunchbreak and she was able to talk to me for a few minutes and advised me to apologize from overreacting (which I did via email.) Now, it's just a matter of hearing back, hearing from my boss or other co-workers who saw it, etc. I have a big "getting in trouble" feeling in my stomach that is making me want to puke. I hate that I let myself get so irrational and out of control, but in the moment, I don't think I could have done anything differently.

Moral support needed. Thanks.

-Sean
 
hey sean,

You shouldnt get yourself worked up about it,
it will only make to feel worse, you have apologised and admitted your mistake and im sure your co-worker will make amends with you,

try not to think any bad thoughts mate, we are all here to suport you and always will be...

take care...
 
Sean,

It's okay. You did what you were supposed to do, and I'm so damn proud of you for not going with your first reaction. Self-destruction is overrated, and is losing your cool really worth having to explain that one to God?

I don't mean to be flip, but I'm glad you did the right things.

You apologized. Explain yourself, with as many details as you'd like to give, and try to reason it out next time. Actually, making a plan to deal with it so there ARE no "next times" would be a great response.

You've learned from it. What more can you expect from yourself when you're human and you make mistakes.

You need me, bro, I'm here. Please let me know how things go. I care.

Peace and love, bro.

Scot
 
Sean,

It's ok to get mad, and you voiced it. I know it is scary to "lose it". Hell, I feel like I am losing it everyday since I have aknowledged all this to myself and now I "feel" everything as if it is ten times stronger than it is..But you did the right thing, you came to your friends to circle around you instead of walking away from it all. I am learning everyday more and more, you can't do it alone, this is a dam hard road we are all on. Sometimes our loads are so heavy and such a burden. We need to remember we are all walking side by side thru this and each of us can help lighten the load for each other. Right now you are climbing uphill, lean on us and we will lean on you. Together we will rise to the top...
 
Sean
we all make mistakes like that, I did it years ago and lost a job because I had a foreman by the throat.
I could have probably kept the job if I'd been man enough to apologise, but I didn't. Back then I was different.

You've done the right thing and apologised, I hope the other guy does the same, and maybe you'll both keep your jobs.

Is there a manager or someone in your personell dep't that you can trust enough to explain a bit about why you got angry ?
My manager knows about my past, and how it affects me now, and is very good about it. And he does make some allowences towards me. I also give something back where I can, but that's ok. We don't get anything for nothing.

Don't feel any worse about it than you can possibly help. Use your support and friends, it's time like these you need them.

Dave
 
Sean,

People who work together often get one each others nerves. One place where I used to work someone started attacking folks with scissors. Most of the time things don't get that extreme, and I'm sure you didn't do anything like that.

You apologized, and I bet that will make a big difference in how this turns out.

No matter what happens, you'll still be the good person you always were. We'll be here to tell you so, if you need that.

Joe
 
Sean,

I am glad that you recognized that you were feeling how you were and smart enough to take the apporpiate steps to address it. Very glad.

Don't beat yourself up over the fight with your co-worker and the conceived worst case senario. You did well addressing this 'overreaction' as you did well in calling your T.

Take care,
Bill
 
from Shawn to Sean....

Hey brother, we all need a little moral support now and then. Doing the right thing is good, but what's more important, is how it helps you. By taking responsibility for your actions, you've grown as a person. Alot of people would just shove the crap under the carpet and act like it doesn't stink. You've stood up and taken acount for what you've done. BRAVO!!! Hold your head high my friend, you are a great example for us. Too bad it had to come to this, but at least you've shown you can manage dificulties in relationships.

shawn
 
Hey:
No one is perfect. we all make mistake that we wish later that we could turn back time and take it all away.

We just need to be honest with everyone and let them know what it up(not that we need to tell the whole story) but it's ok to say " i'm not feeling good these days". Most people will understand.

Take care of yourself, take time for yourself and it will get better.
Gus
 
Hey guys... thanks for all of the support. I was seriously in bad shape yesterday/this morning.

The good news is that my co-worker emailed me back and although I am still angry as hell about the actual incident, it seems that we are on mutually agreeable terms now and he holds no hard feelings against me for what happened...

The bad news is that I have to admit that I haven't come as far as I thought. I've worked so hard to not be physically violent... and then things like that happen and I realize how much anger I still have raging through me. True, it could have been worse. I could have decked him (which is what I came close to doing) but was restrained enough to just grab his wrist until he put the layout back down on the desk. That is what I think made the incident seem so horrible to me (besides flipping out verbally on him) was that I actually because physical.

But I do feel 100% better now that we had communication about it. It just always scares me that in the moment of it, I would rather jump ship than work it out. Gosh - I should probably make a list of all the things I have to work on for therapy this week. :)

Thank you all so much... it really, really helped so much.

-Sean
 
Sean - Roland actually added this comment on one of my postings when I needed it....it's a good one to remember.

Thanks Roland & best wishes again to everybody....Rik
 
Sean,

Big thumbs up for handling the situation in a proper and civil manner.

It just always scares me that in the moment of it, I would rather jump ship than work it out.
Click to expand...
Now, doesn't feel better having worked it out rather than swimming worring about the sharks.

Keep up the good work,
Bill
 
Sean,

I am so sorry that you had such a hard day. I hope that the situation has 'blown over' now, and you are feeling better. Everyone will have times when they make mistakes, and do or say things they later regret. It is the smart thing to learn from it, and to work at not repeating the same mistakes. It sounds as though that is what you are doing. I wish you well, and good luck. Please be good to yourself, and try to not be too hard at yourself.

Leosha
 
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