i love you
i love you
- Thread starterSterling
- Start date
Sorry Rick.
I love you.
Hey Rick ( and others)
I am slowly , my mind is remembering and I am trying to
feel.
I know I like guys.
Anyway. I kept hearing about Rock Hudson , and how he
was gay.
Well, I somehow I stumbled upon an interview w/ Rock Hudson's
ex-wife.
And ( I am sorry if this offends anyone)
This poor woman ( LOL) didn't know , what to do...
In the fifties - it must have been hell if you were gay!
When Phillis Gates found out her husband was gay...
she went to a psychologist ! For a year!!
When she said this it brought to tears from laughter.
I am sooo sorry. But poor woman.
her psychologist says " losing battle".
Anyway, please try to see the humor , how she says this
to Larry King and , her expression on her face as she says
" I went to a psychologist"... thinking she can change this
for him.
Anyway, I love you guys.
If you want to watch it , here's the video.
She reveals seeing a psychologist 10 minutes in the interview.
Thanks again you guys.
James
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz8SW-zak6s
I love you.
Hey Rick ( and others)
I am slowly , my mind is remembering and I am trying to
feel.
I know I like guys.
Anyway. I kept hearing about Rock Hudson , and how he
was gay.
Well, I somehow I stumbled upon an interview w/ Rock Hudson's
ex-wife.
And ( I am sorry if this offends anyone)
This poor woman ( LOL) didn't know , what to do...
In the fifties - it must have been hell if you were gay!
When Phillis Gates found out her husband was gay...
she went to a psychologist ! For a year!!
When she said this it brought to tears from laughter.
I am sooo sorry. But poor woman.
her psychologist says " losing battle".
Anyway, please try to see the humor , how she says this
to Larry King and , her expression on her face as she says
" I went to a psychologist"... thinking she can change this
for him.
Anyway, I love you guys.
If you want to watch it , here's the video.
She reveals seeing a psychologist 10 minutes in the interview.
Thanks again you guys.
James
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz8SW-zak6s
i feel i want a man. but i cant do it. i think i am just too afraid. i hav and have. to figure this out. he scared me so much. used me . i love men. i do. i dont want sex w/ many but i do want love. and let someone in my life.
it is a lot of. I want to be me. I am screaming I
don't want him. I can be an asshole.
don't want him , hear , or near. I cisul. he ant them wants
her. him. and I lost. but. I don't . ;lkasdj;
asdf .
so how does it feel. lkj;jlk; kj;lj sda;kfj
it is a lot of. I want to be me. I am screaming I
don't want him. I can be an asshole.
don't want him , hear , or near. I cisul. he ant them wants
her. him. and I lost. but. I don't . ;lkasdj;
asdf .
so how does it feel. lkj;jlk; kj;lj sda;kfj
everyone had to choose her.
i had no one.
SORRY I HAVENT . read posts.
I have voices. in me. its sick
I don't want to bring me down.
sfjka;sdfjds;lfkjafkl;j
not from oterhs . just have a challenging time right now.
I am tryhing to find another place to live.
and puberty.
self esteem. evertyhig at once.
very hard.
ddont want to sadden anyone.
by my advice.
i had no one.
SORRY I HAVENT . read posts.
I have voices. in me. its sick
I don't want to bring me down.
sfjka;sdfjds;lfkjafkl;j
not from oterhs . just have a challenging time right now.
I am tryhing to find another place to live.
and puberty.
self esteem. evertyhig at once.
very hard.
ddont want to sadden anyone.
by my advice.
Rick, thanks so much!
I have a hard time committing. Even to come here.
I have a hard time.
I don't know it all , that happened.
Work really hard. as do most do.!
my grammar is not good.
a;sdlkjf;saljf
asdfak;lfjak;lfdkj sdklfjaf;l then I have to see his sad face.
he bullied the shit out of me.
asdlkfjsa;dfkljafda
anger . sucks. a;sdlfjkafj;slfk as;dflkjasd;lkfj
asdfkjasd;flkjasdf;lkjsdf;lkjasdf;kjasdf;lkjdf
I have a hard time committing. Even to come here.
I have a hard time.
I don't know it all , that happened.
Work really hard. as do most do.!
my grammar is not good.
a;sdlkjf;saljf
asdfak;lfjak;lfdkj sdklfjaf;l then I have to see his sad face.
he bullied the shit out of me.
asdlkfjsa;dfkljafda
anger . sucks. a;sdlfjkafj;slfk as;dflkjasd;lkfj
asdfkjasd;flkjasdf;lkjsdf;lkjasdf;kjasdf;lkjdf
want to be the set. i can. shott. him. shoto mik c voices. i could let my self be. the worst. i dont want them. he was there some of the time
they would erase my thinkning. horrobe shit. he was there. also i got kidnapped for a couple hours. shocked me. parents wouldnt believe me. these are parents?? cmon , picute of feedingme. i have ashitty time. icn i am miserbale. i want to be the best i can to everyone its hard. then peopel have asd;flkjf;kljsa you are an idito.
my s visualizeing scres scares me. its intimed he is right there
to my right and he would beat me.
he would just call me down all the time.
my sperm donor wants him to be the best and take from me.
and he is oblivious ? that I cant do there. ?
don't want him. my mom is so , whatever . she does what
she wants. she wants me to think he is this great father.
he needs a father. he wasn't loved, cared for.
don't want to replace his father or mother.
wher do you go ? ;sdja;fadjk
visualizing. gets me to igore what is going on underneath.
things it they kept readking me out. sugar
you can eat all you want nobody will help you.
nobody will come to you.
your mom is sick!! she hates you. she isn't coming here.
you have no one.
shit . emt optins. my mind an can only do som much.
fereak. he helps them! he hleps them. I don't feel I got
thru puberty. he fucked me up. they would tease me
all the tiem. lasuging at my feins. . wnbat to tb be like
him. they wanted em me to make eveyrohn else sidk.
that's how messed up they are.
I wanted
to call my cousin and tell her your dady is
gay!! I should eant vor tyou. I ch live like this.
I had no chilidhood.
or your dad is wonderful
fukc you.!!! I am gay. but I ahte it. I hate it.
I hate it I I hate it ihate I t a;lksdfjs;adkfj
they would erase my thinkning. horrobe shit. he was there. also i got kidnapped for a couple hours. shocked me. parents wouldnt believe me. these are parents?? cmon , picute of feedingme. i have ashitty time. icn i am miserbale. i want to be the best i can to everyone its hard. then peopel have asd;flkjf;kljsa you are an idito.
my s visualizeing scres scares me. its intimed he is right there
to my right and he would beat me.
he would just call me down all the time.
my sperm donor wants him to be the best and take from me.
and he is oblivious ? that I cant do there. ?
don't want him. my mom is so , whatever . she does what
she wants. she wants me to think he is this great father.
he needs a father. he wasn't loved, cared for.
don't want to replace his father or mother.
wher do you go ? ;sdja;fadjk
visualizing. gets me to igore what is going on underneath.
things it they kept readking me out. sugar
you can eat all you want nobody will help you.
nobody will come to you.
your mom is sick!! she hates you. she isn't coming here.
you have no one.
shit . emt optins. my mind an can only do som much.
fereak. he helps them! he hleps them. I don't feel I got
thru puberty. he fucked me up. they would tease me
all the tiem. lasuging at my feins. . wnbat to tb be like
him. they wanted em me to make eveyrohn else sidk.
that's how messed up they are.
I wanted
to call my cousin and tell her your dady is
gay!! I should eant vor tyou. I ch live like this.
I had no chilidhood.
or your dad is wonderful
fukc you.!!! I am gay. but I ahte it. I hate it.
I hate it I I hate it ihate I t a;lksdfjs;adkfj
I cant look at people in the eyes. not for mone hat
few seconds. I need to read kids stuff.
I ahte ti that I want man . I hate it. it rusht.
don't want sick. and don't want others sick.;alkjdfa;sf
asfdf;aklj fofivde this sda??
I don't know whats wrong with him ? he wisout hasy.
my sperm don't care. as long as their okay. who give s
shit out mye.
bugged. me that i had to bvisit my cousings all the time. i was allowed to see my mother. do know what this is like i gcan ikill people i hate this. these gusya re shti. copes cant do what are cops oging to do? oh that is so sad you went thru that. my momhavetn seeen in 3 year. i feel liked killijng myself
you can be like your botrother . can you dgo ikill pel. end eno you bpie cod sad;flkj
I am dying to get laid. sorry.
I haven't b een close ot anyone. I am seeing a guy tomorrow
morning. I don't want to . but. you
want bilie right. you have to get liad for bilie.
you have to or you will ide. you will killl you better go to bilie shous they want you there. asldkjf;adjfka;flkj
don't know if I want to touch man's stuff.
we cant help yuou with this.
this is your shti not ours.
yea.
I love it when guys sleep w/ guys. I hate it that
I have it bad. or. what I just don't know if I want love.
;sjkdf;sajfa;fajf;ajkfa; f;lfjkal;fdj but my lgegs
work. and I just appreciate life. yeayyyyyy.
sd;sjkfa;djfa;fkjsdkfjsdfjkl;sdfl;kjdkl;sjfsjkdf
sdflk;kdkl;dkl;jddkso you want to be a terhapist./
don't kw . what do I want to do.?
I wanna rock!!
I want to rock, ROCK!!
I ;sadjf;fjk jd;lajks;dfjddkdkdkd
I loved my brother and wasn't allowed to say it.
I had to hate him. y'know, do they give a shit?
nahhhhhhhhhhh. they only care about themselves.
but I get to eat! as much as possible.
fuck. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. food. deddyi wants me toeat.
my mom. has to listen to stupid blliy. and then my
brother. cant care for me. not like I need .
he is . himself. w/ his family.
I wine how I need money. monehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
sj;dfjas;fj;fdajkf at least I can bitch. s;djfka;fj
go eat karl. go . no. I BETTER WORRY. I BETTER NOT LOOK
AT YOU IN THEYES. sad;kjfd;fjaklkldkddkdkdkd
brarhe. I get stress. soory. sa;dflkjs;fj I hasd to say
sorry all the time. when is bilie coming over?
I am sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry. I am sorry
fu;kfjas;lf dkd;dkj d;kj sdfkjdf
not gonna help you.sdf;jakd;fkjsdfds
dddlk;dkldklj;dopk
sometimes i hate looking at men. but this guy is cute. hwow. i like. jsdfadj;fjf portugues men are hot!!
don't want to get slapped. this is only ddkdkd
dlkjdkl;dkldlkdkjldkjldlkjkjdd
hr esnyd mrini yo hs kljdfgfkfkffff
noneof these voncera are happi emasdf;kljas;ldfuck up. i need help how do i s;daljkf;lddself acceptacne
few seconds. I need to read kids stuff.
I ahte ti that I want man . I hate it. it rusht.
don't want sick. and don't want others sick.;alkjdfa;sf
asfdf;aklj fofivde this sda??
I don't know whats wrong with him ? he wisout hasy.
my sperm don't care. as long as their okay. who give s
shit out mye.
bugged. me that i had to bvisit my cousings all the time. i was allowed to see my mother. do know what this is like i gcan ikill people i hate this. these gusya re shti. copes cant do what are cops oging to do? oh that is so sad you went thru that. my momhavetn seeen in 3 year. i feel liked killijng myself
you can be like your botrother . can you dgo ikill pel. end eno you bpie cod sad;flkj
I am dying to get laid. sorry.
I haven't b een close ot anyone. I am seeing a guy tomorrow
morning. I don't want to . but. you
want bilie right. you have to get liad for bilie.
you have to or you will ide. you will killl you better go to bilie shous they want you there. asldkjf;adjfka;flkj
don't know if I want to touch man's stuff.
we cant help yuou with this.
this is your shti not ours.
yea.
I love it when guys sleep w/ guys. I hate it that
I have it bad. or. what I just don't know if I want love.
;sjkdf;sajfa;fajf;ajkfa; f;lfjkal;fdj but my lgegs
work. and I just appreciate life. yeayyyyyy.
sd;sjkfa;djfa;fkjsdkfjsdfjkl;sdfl;kjdkl;sjfsjkdf
sdflk;kdkl;dkl;jddkso you want to be a terhapist./
don't kw . what do I want to do.?
I wanna rock!!
I want to rock, ROCK!!
I ;sadjf;fjk jd;lajks;dfjddkdkdkd
I loved my brother and wasn't allowed to say it.
I had to hate him. y'know, do they give a shit?
nahhhhhhhhhhh. they only care about themselves.
but I get to eat! as much as possible.
fuck. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. food. deddyi wants me toeat.
my mom. has to listen to stupid blliy. and then my
brother. cant care for me. not like I need .
he is . himself. w/ his family.
I wine how I need money. monehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
sj;dfjas;fj;fdajkf at least I can bitch. s;djfka;fj
go eat karl. go . no. I BETTER WORRY. I BETTER NOT LOOK
AT YOU IN THEYES. sad;kjfd;fjaklkldkddkdkdkd
brarhe. I get stress. soory. sa;dflkjs;fj I hasd to say
sorry all the time. when is bilie coming over?
I am sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry. I am sorry
fu;kfjas;lf dkd;dkj d;kj sdfkjdf
not gonna help you.sdf;jakd;fkjsdfds
dddlk;dkldklj;dopk
sometimes i hate looking at men. but this guy is cute. hwow. i like. jsdfadj;fjf portugues men are hot!!
don't want to get slapped. this is only ddkdkd
dlkjdkl;dkldlkdkjldkjldlkjkjdd
hr esnyd mrini yo hs kljdfgfkfkffff
noneof these voncera are happi emasdf;kljas;ldfuck up. i need help how do i s;daljkf;lddself acceptacne
i only want my mom to be googd. i fuck hate this. i am trying to find owho. i am. i dont know who i am. my mom is bozna.that is what they tell me. then i doulcld look her simal in the face. and taht why my body didnt grow. 1975, 1977. i cept keing beatine my by them. i had to hate msyelf. and hurty others. i ddnt want to live. i wanted to kill my self as early as i can remember. my sperm donor. saw nothing wrong with how i was treated. dont want to put a label. i love men. hope to have sex w/ some m not everyone. i am scared of not letting someone go before they even know me. i want others to feel loved by everyone and if that means to be less than. well that is have . to way it has to be. too bad. i had to let go oif my past. it was.
asdf;lkjs i have them in my thoughts. i had to keep changing. keep lafing at everyone. i hated me so much. i didnt know what was happening. i love. lost touch. with life. i didnt know, i know i had a lot of rage i nme. how many kids are giong thru this.? i would love to love my mom. even thou. she will never c me. . gut wrenching!! . bilys. mom knew she is fkn mental. but she needed love and she watned it all. and she hated my real mom. and that is why sometimes i dont feel like i fit w / ms. but i love love. i gues i didnt fit elsewhere. nobody ever liked me.
if o odont know who to be good with. then its not worth being alove s alive. i need to love people. i need to move away from all canadian.. i want to understand others as much as possible. so others even if they are bullied or kids or whomever that i can offfer as much care i can... then i know i am worth being here. i have to belivei in god. if i dont i will fuck my self up. i get it how other guys. have it , or their challenges , difficulties. i can only. do so much. maybe i need a break. i get this idea how to build a centre for people to get away. where is the money gonna come from? i hate feeling like this. . i am angry.
i just let myself get angry b/c i am stuck. so iwhat do i do? chocoalte. no. some other thing. whipo my shit out. no. ;slkjdf feeling fucked up! yea. i dont know i do kno y no you. don you are gay. so , so i am sgay. but you are cawaord karl. you c dont want yourself
you need me. i and i dont want to be needed. then i process this. and it comes out when i am interacting. i dont know iyou. i am scared. you dont. you cant touch me. i want to have sex. i love romance. i am good in bed. i know i am.i am giving myself more room for pride in being a man. and being bob's son. god's son. and malesurvivor's brother. i would do anything to love everyone and move to the back for others to be the best to each other.
i need to move.. what ever voice. bilie dad can move. he can move. he can move. shit. i stopeed i cant move further. kuz he isnt actualy here. i cant change them here. i cant change the past. FUCCCCCCCCCK. THIS IS FUCKIN HARD!!
GREEDY ME? maybe. but i least i can change. i dont have to be but. you. i want kill me. shoot me. die for me. i dont want .dfasdflk;asdjfsda; this shti has to toc sopt.fsdkljfa;dlfjsadl;fjkafkl;sdajfa;jkflda;fj fuck htis hard.;slkdjf;asdkfj i am going to have . to foirgive. this idiot! i hate this. s;kljdfk;l
df;aljksdf;jlk you never c me again. never. dlkjad;fjk mom. sdfojids dsf;lkjdfdlk; lonely. work. write. life. dont want them. i am not downtown. i am not pictureing yhour stuff. what happens to you. isnt happening to anyone else. you can have him. your brother. you can have. its not all or nothing i can slow down. i show. i show. dont want to show my stuff. i am afraid of me.
i dont want to bully. i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont want them. but i know he needs himself. so i cant hurt him. or where he is from. i cant have it all. thanks to everyone for being there. even if it was indirectly. i am gay. and i am proud.!
asdf;lkjs i have them in my thoughts. i had to keep changing. keep lafing at everyone. i hated me so much. i didnt know what was happening. i love. lost touch. with life. i didnt know, i know i had a lot of rage i nme. how many kids are giong thru this.? i would love to love my mom. even thou. she will never c me. . gut wrenching!! . bilys. mom knew she is fkn mental. but she needed love and she watned it all. and she hated my real mom. and that is why sometimes i dont feel like i fit w / ms. but i love love. i gues i didnt fit elsewhere. nobody ever liked me.
if o odont know who to be good with. then its not worth being alove s alive. i need to love people. i need to move away from all canadian.. i want to understand others as much as possible. so others even if they are bullied or kids or whomever that i can offfer as much care i can... then i know i am worth being here. i have to belivei in god. if i dont i will fuck my self up. i get it how other guys. have it , or their challenges , difficulties. i can only. do so much. maybe i need a break. i get this idea how to build a centre for people to get away. where is the money gonna come from? i hate feeling like this. . i am angry.
i just let myself get angry b/c i am stuck. so iwhat do i do? chocoalte. no. some other thing. whipo my shit out. no. ;slkjdf feeling fucked up! yea. i dont know i do kno y no you. don you are gay. so , so i am sgay. but you are cawaord karl. you c dont want yourself
you need me. i and i dont want to be needed. then i process this. and it comes out when i am interacting. i dont know iyou. i am scared. you dont. you cant touch me. i want to have sex. i love romance. i am good in bed. i know i am.i am giving myself more room for pride in being a man. and being bob's son. god's son. and malesurvivor's brother. i would do anything to love everyone and move to the back for others to be the best to each other.
i need to move.. what ever voice. bilie dad can move. he can move. he can move. shit. i stopeed i cant move further. kuz he isnt actualy here. i cant change them here. i cant change the past. FUCCCCCCCCCK. THIS IS FUCKIN HARD!!
GREEDY ME? maybe. but i least i can change. i dont have to be but. you. i want kill me. shoot me. die for me. i dont want .dfasdflk;asdjfsda; this shti has to toc sopt.fsdkljfa;dlfjsadl;fjkafkl;sdajfa;jkflda;fj fuck htis hard.;slkdjf;asdkfj i am going to have . to foirgive. this idiot! i hate this. s;kljdfk;l
df;aljksdf;jlk you never c me again. never. dlkjad;fjk mom. sdfojids dsf;lkjdfdlk; lonely. work. write. life. dont want them. i am not downtown. i am not pictureing yhour stuff. what happens to you. isnt happening to anyone else. you can have him. your brother. you can have. its not all or nothing i can slow down. i show. i show. dont want to show my stuff. i am afraid of me.
i dont want to bully. i dont want to hurt anyone. i dont want them. but i know he needs himself. so i cant hurt him. or where he is from. i cant have it all. thanks to everyone for being there. even if it was indirectly. i am gay. and i am proud.!
i dont . i just saw. this lady. looked at her in the eyes. i just want to feel loved. bay this was something biliy needs. she wants her mom to feel loved. and so that is why i went over there. hmm. maybe. i sjkdf;aj
hard ;saldkjf; doing. I know I like men. I am scared. everyone
wants to rape little goren. e. they keep beating, him , eating
for them. always.. kljdf;sdlkjf
i had to fight but then my dad would push me down. lafing. isnt that. that. not a dad. so. he can wait. and his wife waits i wont go there. thing nobody can change this for me. no body can tell me to visit or n ot. nobody can make love to another person for me. bn nobody d can do SHIT. I AHVE HAVE TO DO ALL ON MY OWN. HATING MYSELF. KILLING MYSELF. GOING TO DRINK ENDLESS POP. OR CRAVING CHOC. NOT ALLOWING MY SELF TO FEEL. B./C I DONT KNOW MYE. ;ALSDKJF;ADKJF WORK. WORK WHERE. ? DONT WANT TO OWRK. I WANT TO HELP. ehklp who hel;p who? who needs help? what if i actually make things worse for a person ? what if my guessing makes thigns fmore worse. i have to . i wish i could punch this shit out of them. i want to go to this rage room downtown. have no coin. gov't shoudl fund people. i miss you candasy. i want this crap out. i cant forgive. he you like him hey kiel you soyuou mni kid. biliy youir son. i and i am jealous. yayyyyy. you win you want me to die. yayyyyyy. govvdyey sad;lkfj ds
sdfsadfsadfa what made me anxiuos. i 1. i might particpate in hiv study. i have never had sex.. i am afriad of if i decide not to do it. that maybe i might get some disease and it is a sign to study this for information. . then. 2. this woman. i looked in her eyes. she looked away. but. then it dont if that was karl wanting bozna. he loves h er. or she wants to be my mother. and all this. i have to reembmer i am wanting to write stuff on here. then i am scared some one will say that;'s not you. thats bilie you are sick you are mental not us. you make shti up. sa;dlkjfas;kjflsa;dlfkjad;fljksad;fljk
hard ;saldkjf; doing. I know I like men. I am scared. everyone
wants to rape little goren. e. they keep beating, him , eating
for them. always.. kljdf;sdlkjf
i had to fight but then my dad would push me down. lafing. isnt that. that. not a dad. so. he can wait. and his wife waits i wont go there. thing nobody can change this for me. no body can tell me to visit or n ot. nobody can make love to another person for me. bn nobody d can do SHIT. I AHVE HAVE TO DO ALL ON MY OWN. HATING MYSELF. KILLING MYSELF. GOING TO DRINK ENDLESS POP. OR CRAVING CHOC. NOT ALLOWING MY SELF TO FEEL. B./C I DONT KNOW MYE. ;ALSDKJF;ADKJF WORK. WORK WHERE. ? DONT WANT TO OWRK. I WANT TO HELP. ehklp who hel;p who? who needs help? what if i actually make things worse for a person ? what if my guessing makes thigns fmore worse. i have to . i wish i could punch this shit out of them. i want to go to this rage room downtown. have no coin. gov't shoudl fund people. i miss you candasy. i want this crap out. i cant forgive. he you like him hey kiel you soyuou mni kid. biliy youir son. i and i am jealous. yayyyyy. you win you want me to die. yayyyyyy. govvdyey sad;lkfj ds
sdfsadfsadfa what made me anxiuos. i 1. i might particpate in hiv study. i have never had sex.. i am afriad of if i decide not to do it. that maybe i might get some disease and it is a sign to study this for information. . then. 2. this woman. i looked in her eyes. she looked away. but. then it dont if that was karl wanting bozna. he loves h er. or she wants to be my mother. and all this. i have to reembmer i am wanting to write stuff on here. then i am scared some one will say that;'s not you. thats bilie you are sick you are mental not us. you make shti up. sa;dlkjfas;kjflsa;dlfkjad;fljksad;fljk
I don't know who I am. I have .
struggle with boundaries. what a shitty people.
s;dlkjfa;lkjf sdalf;kjsdfl;kjsdf ldk;jsdk;fj
sdlfkjsad;fljsla;fjksad;lfjksda;lfkjds;fljsad;lf
sadfsalfk;jsadlkf;jsdl;fkjsdsdal;kfjds;lkfjsdal;
dsfi had look like you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvaTWn_XQwY
sd;lfjksa
I hate ht this.
you need to be loved
hey daddy ?
yaa.
its io okay. you win!
ds;lkjsdl;fjkasdfklj
sdal;ksjdf;lakjdfd
dsaflkjsdf;lkjdf
asdflkjsadf;lkj
dsal;fkjsdf;lkjfs
fsadflkjsadf;lkjsdalfk;jsaf
asdfa;lkjfasd;lkjf
sdfsadfl;kjsdf;lkjsdfsd
dfkljasdf;lkjsadf
dsfdsafsfsfdfafkfjklf;jds ktrydsdafsd
dfdskfjds;kf dklsf;ajds;flksjadfj;la
dfadfak;ldjfa;jfka;jklasdfsda;fjka;
asdfsadfkjas;dfja;fj
asfsaldkfjad;flkjadf;ljkdfdf
struggle with boundaries. what a shitty people.
s;dlkjfa;lkjf sdalf;kjsdfl;kjsdf ldk;jsdk;fj
sdlfkjsad;fljsla;fjksad;lfjksda;lfkjds;fljsad;lf
sadfsalfk;jsadlkf;jsdl;fkjsdsdal;kfjds;lkfjsdal;
dsfi had look like you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvaTWn_XQwY
sd;lfjksa
I hate ht this.
you need to be loved
hey daddy ?
yaa.
its io okay. you win!
ds;lkjsdl;fjkasdfklj
sdal;ksjdf;lakjdfd
dsaflkjsdf;lkjdf
asdflkjsadf;lkj
dsal;fkjsdf;lkjfs
fsadflkjsadf;lkjsdalfk;jsaf
asdfa;lkjfasd;lkjf
sdfsadfl;kjsdf;lkjsdfsd
dfkljasdf;lkjsadf
dsfdsafsfsfdfafkfjklf;jds ktrydsdafsd
dfdskfjds;kf dklsf;ajds;flksjadfj;la
dfadfak;ldjfa;jfka;jklasdfsda;fjka;
asdfsadfkjas;dfja;fj
asfsaldkfjad;flkjadf;ljkdfdf
I wanted to love him.
Darren I miss you. I want to. you be me.
I want to change you. I ncce you love me.
I need my dad to love me. so I mess this up for you.
you may think you want me. but really. maybe you do.
I jst want to ve xe s tih them. I want to eat.
if I can eat I can to have them. I have to want him.
I have to want them. I am violent. right bozo?
I am gay. slaps! me I had to be like them
I had to change my self every time I was there.
and then I they wante d me ti to envy them .
sugar was my reward. every time I hated myself or
put myself down I could eat anything and as much as I wanted.
as long as I was good.
to
???
karl.
you say. things to me. and then I have to listen.
if I don't listen you hate me. you neglect me.
my mind went into pretzels. I doulcn even see me.
I was terrified of me. I couldn't fouxcus.
ever. and now I am . gril. I have female thoughts.
I look like a girl. they say!
I have to listen to ht them. grooming me to wanting
men's penises. I had to hryry to think like him.
I am exactly like thhim. then I am like my sperm donor
then I get beaten by them. then I get beaten my mom.
. I have this all the time. I keep pushing to be good
to reprogram myself to l beivel that I am good!
so . maybe my brother can love you.
I feel nothing for you. I don't scare you. you
scare you. I cant see Darren ever. he cant know why.
it might be. ;asjdf;jdsaf;sdalkjf ;
me hating me. so . I had a beautiful exp.
needed love from a man. but I still find some men
incredibly hot! don't know . who. to talk to.
no group can really change this for me.
gay or not. as long as I have this place. this unconditional
love from where I live. and this website. I should be okay.
I know I don't have to be violent. I know I can call
crisis lines.
I know I have to be careful how to share with others.
I know I am. but. I know also that you are.
I know you like guys. but t you. .....
goodbye. dummy.
Darren I miss you. I want to. you be me.
I want to change you. I ncce you love me.
I need my dad to love me. so I mess this up for you.
you may think you want me. but really. maybe you do.
I jst want to ve xe s tih them. I want to eat.
if I can eat I can to have them. I have to want him.
I have to want them. I am violent. right bozo?
I am gay. slaps! me I had to be like them
I had to change my self every time I was there.
and then I they wante d me ti to envy them .
sugar was my reward. every time I hated myself or
put myself down I could eat anything and as much as I wanted.
as long as I was good.
to
???
karl.
you say. things to me. and then I have to listen.
if I don't listen you hate me. you neglect me.
my mind went into pretzels. I doulcn even see me.
I was terrified of me. I couldn't fouxcus.
ever. and now I am . gril. I have female thoughts.
I look like a girl. they say!
I have to listen to ht them. grooming me to wanting
men's penises. I had to hryry to think like him.
I am exactly like thhim. then I am like my sperm donor
then I get beaten by them. then I get beaten my mom.
. I have this all the time. I keep pushing to be good
to reprogram myself to l beivel that I am good!
so . maybe my brother can love you.
I feel nothing for you. I don't scare you. you
scare you. I cant see Darren ever. he cant know why.
it might be. ;asjdf;jdsaf;sdalkjf ;
me hating me. so . I had a beautiful exp.
needed love from a man. but I still find some men
incredibly hot! don't know . who. to talk to.
no group can really change this for me.
gay or not. as long as I have this place. this unconditional
love from where I live. and this website. I should be okay.
I know I don't have to be violent. I know I can call
crisis lines.
I know I have to be careful how to share with others.
I know I am. but. I know also that you are.
I know you like guys. but t you. .....
goodbye. dummy.
i had. don't talk to me.
don't believe in this. and stop!
don't want to believe in god. feel bad.
I am very superstitios . I don't want taney ba cetre
donta want dick. and. thanks jeff for your company
a last night. I don't know if I cant you. cnet. I want
to. but I am afraid of allowing letting myesef get sex.
I don't want to hate anyone. I have anisae real. ov voices
who are hatered. on themselves na and need me to hate.
I don't want to
whoyou. anre ta I am not talking to anyone. I am not him.
he lcant lie. I don't want you fuck . you aoy. what I
hate my life. I do. I hate it that I spent 9 bucks on sweets
last night. feeli your fel FEEL HOW? FEEL WAHT SUYICID
KILL MYSELF. I D I FONT WANTE. YOU AM TRURN INTO THEM
I AM EXACTLY LIKE TH EM. I HATE THEM.1 ASDF;KLJAF; KL
ASDFA;KLJFD COTNE I CAHT GOD HELP M E HOW CAN I EDAT AND
HATE GOD. ? I IDOTN WANT TO EAT. I HATE EDATING. I AHT
I HATE EVEIN JEALOUS. I WANT LOVE MY MAN. BUT I DONT WNAT
MORE. BUT I . SAD;FLJFK BLED. LEAVE. ME. BED.
LEAVAE. ME. THEN. THEY WANT ME TO E BE POSESSED OR
HATE EVEYONE. THIS IS . I CAN MY ME. ;ASLDKJF
SA;DFKJAF;KL SDIF SDF;KLJD F THANK Y OU. AMLSUE VI I ORW.
YOU BIGETIME. GROWITH. I DONT WANT MY PENIS. TO GROW
O DONT WANT PUBERTY. I F I HAVE TO BAE MY MEN. AND THEM
I DONT KNOW WHO TO CHOOSE. THEY KEPT TELNIGM E HOW TO HATE
EVERYONE. ;SADFKJA;LFJ TSHIT. CIOPS. DON TOSM
GAY . YOU ARE GAY. I AM GAY. AND I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE A
CHOICE. I DONT WANT TO BE GAY. BUT THEY KEPT TELLING ME THIS.
NOBODY CAN CHANGE THIS. NOBODY CAN SAVE. ME. ;ASLDJFKA
I HATE THIS. . I HAVE NOP MOPMEYU. ISPENT MYU MONEY
I CANT GO. I NEED TO GO TO BARS. TO SEE WHAT MEN LOOK LIKE
THAT THEEY ARE NOT LIKE DKEIL AND HIS FAMLY. SHE HATES
MEN. AND SHE NEEDED CONFIDEENCE AND CHANGE THEIR PERCEPTION
OF LIFE. THEY HCHANGE ME. BLANKETS AND THEN I AM A GIRL
I AHD TO FUCK ME UP. AND I HIT MYSELF. TO GET MY RAGE. OUT
I LILL ME. I HADT. I DID. SORRY UYOU ARE TUFIGN FUCK
. YOU AND YOU. I AM NOT YOU. I NEEDD LOVE. I AM SCARED OF
WANTING THIGNS . I HATE THIS. GFWAE;IAJWR;KFL
don't believe in this. and stop!
don't want to believe in god. feel bad.
I am very superstitios . I don't want taney ba cetre
donta want dick. and. thanks jeff for your company
a last night. I don't know if I cant you. cnet. I want
to. but I am afraid of allowing letting myesef get sex.
I don't want to hate anyone. I have anisae real. ov voices
who are hatered. on themselves na and need me to hate.
I don't want to
whoyou. anre ta I am not talking to anyone. I am not him.
he lcant lie. I don't want you fuck . you aoy. what I
hate my life. I do. I hate it that I spent 9 bucks on sweets
last night. feeli your fel FEEL HOW? FEEL WAHT SUYICID
KILL MYSELF. I D I FONT WANTE. YOU AM TRURN INTO THEM
I AM EXACTLY LIKE TH EM. I HATE THEM.1 ASDF;KLJAF; KL
ASDFA;KLJFD COTNE I CAHT GOD HELP M E HOW CAN I EDAT AND
HATE GOD. ? I IDOTN WANT TO EAT. I HATE EDATING. I AHT
I HATE EVEIN JEALOUS. I WANT LOVE MY MAN. BUT I DONT WNAT
MORE. BUT I . SAD;FLJFK BLED. LEAVE. ME. BED.
LEAVAE. ME. THEN. THEY WANT ME TO E BE POSESSED OR
HATE EVEYONE. THIS IS . I CAN MY ME. ;ASLDKJF
SA;DFKJAF;KL SDIF SDF;KLJD F THANK Y OU. AMLSUE VI I ORW.
YOU BIGETIME. GROWITH. I DONT WANT MY PENIS. TO GROW
O DONT WANT PUBERTY. I F I HAVE TO BAE MY MEN. AND THEM
I DONT KNOW WHO TO CHOOSE. THEY KEPT TELNIGM E HOW TO HATE
EVERYONE. ;SADFKJA;LFJ TSHIT. CIOPS. DON TOSM
GAY . YOU ARE GAY. I AM GAY. AND I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE A
CHOICE. I DONT WANT TO BE GAY. BUT THEY KEPT TELLING ME THIS.
NOBODY CAN CHANGE THIS. NOBODY CAN SAVE. ME. ;ASLDJFKA
I HATE THIS. . I HAVE NOP MOPMEYU. ISPENT MYU MONEY
I CANT GO. I NEED TO GO TO BARS. TO SEE WHAT MEN LOOK LIKE
THAT THEEY ARE NOT LIKE DKEIL AND HIS FAMLY. SHE HATES
MEN. AND SHE NEEDED CONFIDEENCE AND CHANGE THEIR PERCEPTION
OF LIFE. THEY HCHANGE ME. BLANKETS AND THEN I AM A GIRL
I AHD TO FUCK ME UP. AND I HIT MYSELF. TO GET MY RAGE. OUT
I LILL ME. I HADT. I DID. SORRY UYOU ARE TUFIGN FUCK
. YOU AND YOU. I AM NOT YOU. I NEEDD LOVE. I AM SCARED OF
WANTING THIGNS . I HATE THIS. GFWAE;IAJWR;KFL
