i love you

i love you
I'm here. Even if it's a private message. Remember? Don't lose yourself.
 
I find it annoying when men show off their large packages at
the Ymca.
anyway, I don't get I don't look at mens packages.
Then I am changing , I noticed a guy . his butt. I and I was
attracted to him.
Why would they do this? my mom or aunt tells me to focus on
the Ken doll body and then. my body never grew.
Then I just started blacking out!
"That never happened , you made that up!" says my cousin.
TRIGGERING






I have to find a way to always tell myself , shit happened.
I cant speak. And then my other dad tells me """""".
wtf? ...and then I remember his videotaping me from his car.
I was loved ??? or I never let myself think. feel.
and I had food. that was it.
I am so tired I need sleep. 4 nights no sleep.
it is hard. stupid gets away. I keep wanting to go to the
cops. What if I cant get them in trouble?
I miss no one of my dads family.
that is it.
 
this has nothing to do with . I or I should say
this has nothing to do with anyone or speaking to anyone.



I don't know you.
 
so how do I just go on with my self ? my life?
should I press charges. ?
what would that do? not much. I guess. I cant see how
it would be received by them. my mom doesn't care.
it seems. I know whe she isn't my bomom mobye boyenz
bozna would tell me ko lies a about everyone.
 
I hat oi hate . them hate isn't right.
but is is it. right to do this to kids? . and how
is this not right to do this to me or to anyone or to anyone
you don't do this
don't behave this way. I don't want to hate anyone else.
I don't want to worry like this. I have problems.
I don't know my dad and he told me things that I are sick!
I don't know me because he had me hate me.
 
and so then there I s bozna hs she toaught me to like penises.
I do like men. I there wont be any molesting brom me.
why ...I hate this. I don't like you karole. I don't.
If you hate your family...
 
I don't want to know them. them. not anyone else.
everyone else is good! I love myself.
that I s better. I need more self-esteem.
I need to reject what they do to others by not letting them
come in me anymore.
 
it is hard to focus. I wish I never listened.
I listened to my mom about my light weight a couple years back.
mom you don't care as much as I want to .
let her go man!
I know. I jus didn't like hem. or mem I ant you liomve
live you. il live am more you. I w don't touch guys .
 
you are not supposed to be here. yes. my adad fam I
don't have one to tlakl to
keep firght i.facke. I don't awnt o wathc h them.
yo are not
 
click. and love. click and send. I wsi ih a d a man. to
be with. so I am afraid of clsoiing. my therapy.
something like that.
I need a dad. I don't want that ot be in the way of a relationship. dumb. I am dumb.
 
never say die. never say. shutup. you talk to o
much. fuck. that. niway. I need a ddad. somen bithc
this is hard. he laughs laugh at your b family. you have s nie
woman. and you treated her like she doesn't deserve love.
we all deserve to be loved.
 
don't lokk at me or aney. you are supt. . shutp bliago
you are supid. I hjoe you det gummber. and I have to learn to
slow daonw and tpie. and tlea.t I am ihce guy.
I am a nice guy. these guyus helped my recovery.
I pushed it was. worth. it to ol love yourself.
billie don't like that. she wants it allllllll.
 
fag. don't mind callng me that. better than a wuss.
you cant handle fuck all. little girl karole.
don't like his life so he makes me feel suicidal.h
him and his mommy and daddy.
g o home to bozna. iwill never ssee yo.
 
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