I just wanted to share, it is about my mom, possible trigger.

I just wanted to share, it is about my mom, possible trigger.
M

michael Joseph

Registrant
When I was about 38, my mother who has a mental illness, which was passed to me, came up to me in my house w/o a shirt and asked me to put cream under her breast. There was no reason she couldn't do this for her self, but I got scared froze up and did it. It was the weirdest thing, like did this really happen. And it did. But I am Bipolar and I haven't done this, I know she is sick, and that caused this to happen, but I was effected by it more than I would say.

The following is from a site that has resources:

Men who were sexually abused by women rarely see their reality reflected in articles, books, services, and web sites that are created for sexual abuse survivors. The fact that it is not widely acknowledged or accepted that boys as well as girls are sexually abused, and women as well as men sexually abuse children is damaging to men who were abused by women.

Many male survivors live in isolation, fear, shame, anger, and silence precisely because they know the taboos in our culture about talking about this form of abuse. It neednt be this way. We can acknowledge that boys are abused and women abuse children without diminishing the reality of male perpetrated violence and female victimization. Understanding this form of abuse contributes to our knowledge about abuse in all its forms - something that we will all benefit from.

https://www.malesurvivor.on.ca/english/perpetrators.htm

This was hard for me to type out, and I knew I needed to. When I was 5 my first perps were her parents, including my Grandmother. They also abused my mother as a kid.

MJ
 
more info from site, feel free to go and see the whole thing or other educational stuff. Thanks for being so good to me here, it is a good place.

Abuse by a mother is often the last abuse to be dealt with when there have been other perpetrators in the survivors history. Many men and women have said that the abuse by their mothers was the most shameful and damaging form of childhood victimization that they experienced. (Elliott, 1993, pg. 21)

Men who were sexually abused by their mothers often have a very difficult time disclosing the abuse because they feel a loyalty - a traumatic bond - with their mothers. It may be a conflicted bond, but a bond still the same. This bond may stop them from disclosing what they believe would be a betrayal of their mothers trust and confidence.
 
MJ,

Thanks for sharing this with us. You are not alone in this. There are so many caring and understanding people here. This is a safe place to talk about things. I wasn't abused by a woman, but I do understand how difficult it can be to share things about ourselves and to talk about the things that happen to us and how they affect us.

I'm glad you are here and were able to share.

Bill
 
well the majority were men that hurt me and they did damage too, hard to compare what they did to what my mom did, but she is my mom. (grandmother too)

Thanks Bill
 
Hi Michael,

Thanks for sharing. I know that was not easy at all to share. I hope you are going well and I will do a special meditation for you my friend.

Take care. You are loved.

Dominic
 
Michael,

I'm sorry to hear this happened, but at the same time I'm glad you posted about it. By talking about it you are rejecting the shame and blame for any wrongdoing. Caught by surprise like this, I think many guys - Bipolar or otherwise - might have done the same thing.

Much love,
Larry
 
Thanks Larry

It was out of the blue.

But she is too sick for me to be mad at.
I do know the illness didnt help.
My abuse never ended though and I didnt need her to do that to me. After typing this in more than one place today it took a while for me to be ok. It was very upsetting. Better now.
 
MJ,

I too want to add my sorrow over what you've had happen to you. I also understand when you say you can't be mad.

Thanks for having the courage to post that. It's a step toward better things, even tho it may not seem like it at the moment.

Lots of love,

John
 
MJ,

I'm sorry for what happened to you, and I'm sorry for the sense of isolation that came from it. One thing we all have in common, I think, in addition to the abuse (from whatever source) is the pain that follows, often for decades. We also have in common some hope and some progress that comes from telling others. Everyone at this site is so supportive of one another that it gives us all the strength to do things like you did when you wrote this post.

I admire your courage. Take care, man.

Peter
 
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