I just told my mother to F#%K OFF!!!

[forgive777]

I was trying to vent to my mother all she says is what can I do. And or starts argueing and blaming me for what iam going thru I got no family support not by my father... and most importantly my " MOTHER" I was wondering has anyone ever experienced this its always like this my mother is always far from me literally county and problems... She has always ran from me like iam a terrible person.. I do electrical by trade I was letting her know that I was in need of money I dont qualify for unemployment do to not reporting 3 days of work one time not to mention they are charging me $2,300 dollars... So its super hard with no family support my family is from another Country and came here to work here... There mentality is you earn your shit... Duh??? I think everyone knows that including my self the point is I try to vent to her like mom what should i do?? Like iam sure some of us sometimes call mother for a wise advise..... her respond is work!!!!!! Like freaking really thats so soothing.... I just told her she doesnt have the intelligence to sooth or confort my hurt like I mentioned before I write in a journal and all this emotions are all surfaced everyday and I let her know that no family support all I hear is get over it, what can I do, and look for a job... not to mention iam looking for anything even Mc.Donalds at this point like I said before I do electrical work I try to go with my trade....But since my families firm believe. Not to loan me money and work anywhere mentality iam in really need of cash rite now!!!! asap and I cant even rely on my family??...... this stuff hurts ... iam going threw this abuse healing and been laid off for two weeks all my problems just get intense and nobody is there by my side including my mother............ to make it worst she calls all my bros and sis and lets them know i insulted her. Becouse here lack of mother skills and her ways of believes from another country makes me boil inside I insult her I know its wrong and I then regret it... but she pushes that naturally like all she knows is getting insulted and making her self the victim..... Why god my people dont under stand what levels of anxiety i ran in geeeez??????? So I just told her " You know what F#%k YOU"" And hungup and now that is killing me inside........... SMH why must I have this scary anxiety and I got to battle it all alone............

 

[Marmite]

Do you have the kind of relationship with your bros and sis that you could talk with them about the situation with your mother?

 

[morgan662]

Have you looked for a social worker? Since you are an abuse victim and having severe monetary problems, the government should assign you a social worker with no charge. They will help you get government benefits, such as medicaid. Call a social worker line and tell them your story. That's what i did, and it got me health care and a certain level of government support. That's what the government is there for!

 

[forgive777]

Thanks!!! I do have that 662..... They just gave some assistance for food... which is something my point here no pun intended is did anyone else suffered this feeling how should I put this??? The feeling that you inside is a strong person hard working man... Do to the past even a lil break can trigger immotion to remember your past... For instance for me I want the love and support from my mother and father but all they do is tell me that iam not normal.. as of they are they are phsssss!!! Please.. If I get laid of work do to lack of work or I will get call back when it starts picking up...Is they dont understand I guess what iam trying to say is they always blame me on everything like you shouldve taken care of your job.... Wtf I was laid off for lack of work my parents just like playing the blame game including..... The CSA alone like I mentioned before my mother told me iam using this Csa as an excuse.....Wtf did she mean by that so I just tell her she is an ignorant person....Thats all I know what to do I have to defend my self even from my owns mother's ignorance. ,,,,, I know and I seen friends even at my age 30 mothers still love there child as if there still tnere babies.... even though there old,,, all I need is a lil sympathy..........this what iam going thru like going to a t writing down a journal and working .. and then being laid off having nobody to go to becouse its alwys my fault and if I bring iam going thru hell rite now up...... All Ive gotten is your using that as an excuse.... smh IGNORANCE I tell you

 

[forgive777]

No I really never sat there and explained what iam going thru as my mother has convinced them that iam not normal.....If they have my back meaning my brother and sisters. No clue I know how my mother works she always had this manipulation of making someone hate.. or be mad at the person who my mother was insulted by called something etc. If if she was at the wrong....

 

[forgive777]

Man o man!!!!!!! I should've of just kept the CSA doors closed......... Becouse according to my parents iam not normal..... There excuse!!!!!!

 

[ShortedDiode]

I'm sorry to hear you we're laid off. I hope it's temporary and that you'll be recalled when work picks up again. I'm especially sorry that your family is being so unsupportive. It's not like you got fired, layoffs are completely different and it sounds like they don't understand the difference and don't understand that the last thing you want to do is ask for help, which is something so many survivors including myself find very hard to do, but you're stuck in a situation where you've been backed into a corner where there is no other choice.

My parents don't think I'm normal either and they've got most of my family convinced of that too. I think they might have finally somehow done a hatchet job on the last two or three relatives I was on good terms with over the last year. I know how much it hurts when you get boxed into a predicament that's not your fault and you genuinely need a helping hand. Then, when you work up the courage to ask your family for help only to find out that it isn't there, or worse, what really should've been a helping hand's been turned into a fist so they can punch you in the face when you're already down. It isn't fair and it sucks. I really hope things turn around for you soon so you can tell them to shove off again.

 

[Jude]

Hey Forgive777,

It would be nice if all families were nurturing and supportive, but sadly thats not always the case. I kept going back to them looking for that, somehow expecting that they would change. I was angry and confused that they never did, and even more so that they were verbally abusive. Yet I felt guilty about the prospect of no longer trying.

Finally in therapy I came to realize that they just were not going to change. They were never going to love and support me. That I would always get just criticism, judgement, and put downs from them. I came to think "This is not what I need. I don't deserve this. I won't give them the right to do this anymore." For me that meant cutting off contact. That has been painful at times but I have never really regretted it. I'm not recommending this course, but at a minimum you should consider letting go of the expectation that they will give you what you deserve from a family. And set some firm boundries about what you will and won't take from them.

Be well,

Jude