I just registered

Well, I'm have been thinking about joining and finally did it. Its difficult. I'm not in any group but am in therapy. (and have been for quite some time)

I was emotionally abused by my mom growing up and am married with kids. I suppose I have all the classic symptoms and wonder if I will ever heal. . . or what healing means. I'm angry that others don't have these problems. My intensity makes me so great - while at the same time it makes me so weak -- and dare I say it - suicidal.

I am trying to build a positive sexual relationship with my wife. I have all kinds of gender and identity issues. I was the third parent in my parents' relationship. My father told me "as an artist -- I should have been a girl." and my mom well. . . lets not go there. Everything became sexual with her -- men were/are bad. She even sexualizes my 8 year old. I want her out of my life - yet i struggle with keeping some relation with her. Sometimes I just don't know why.

I have come to this site a few times - and the chat function doesn't seem to be popular.

I look forward to meeting and talking with people here.


Brian B14

Hi Dave,

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. I'm glad you finally registered and are beginning to take a more active role in your recovery. From what I have experienced, the more effort that you put in to the recovery process, the more you get out of it.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It must be a struggle for you to try to make sense out of it. You will figure out how to keep that balance to keep her at a distance but yet not cut her off completely. You must find a way to protect yourself and your family.

As far a suicidal thoughts go, most of us have at least thought about the possibility. My favorite quote regarding this issue, I have seen here many times is "Dont use a permanent solution to deal with a temporary problem". Things do get better and I can tell by reading your post that you have a lot to look forward too.

God Bless you David,


P.S. - I'm in the chat room pretty often (late at night). There is a number of people that use it. However, it is not up and running on a consistent basis.



Well, your post hit some chords with me, i can relate, we got a few issues in common for sure.

I am sorry you had to grow up with those people, they dont sound very helthy at all.

I look forward to getting to know you some, this is a good place, lots of good people here. The chat room is good when it is up, it just is not real consistent.

Hang out a bit and see how the place fits for you, ok?

I am glad your here, welcome, we have been saving a place for you.