I just don't want to do this anymore !
Triggers...
JUST NEED TO VENT AND PUT THIS IN WORDS!
I just don't want to do this anymore!!!
More VIVID memories came up because of where I was on Tuesday. I walked to my T appointment at the new office about two miles from home. One of my abusers was a family friend/cop/ scout leader who abused me for YEARS. I walked right into the exact spot where early on I was physically abused, sexually molested, threatened with a gun and pistol whipped by him. I just can't let it go and move on. Last night my wife found me in bed, crying, curled up with my hands covering my face. I knew, just KNEW, HE was outside my window watching me!
I have spent most of the day in bed today, just avoiding the world, it is safer for me and them!
JUST NEED TO VENT AND PUT THIS IN WORDS!
I just don't want to do this anymore!!!
More VIVID memories came up because of where I was on Tuesday. I walked to my T appointment at the new office about two miles from home. One of my abusers was a family friend/cop/ scout leader who abused me for YEARS. I walked right into the exact spot where early on I was physically abused, sexually molested, threatened with a gun and pistol whipped by him. I just can't let it go and move on. Last night my wife found me in bed, crying, curled up with my hands covering my face. I knew, just KNEW, HE was outside my window watching me!
I have spent most of the day in bed today, just avoiding the world, it is safer for me and them!