Good for you, Sonlite.
Steven Covey has some excellent, principle based studies.
A suggestion, if you would like? Maybe get (or at least check-out from a rental place/library) both the audio-tape versions of Putting First Things First, and 7 habits. Covey is an excellent speaker/teacher
While you are in the self-help section, maybe look at some of the Anthony Robbins stuff, too. I don't think he is anywhere as good as Covey, but he collects up everyone elses stuff, and puts it all together. The one I liked best in Robbins stuff was about making a map for yourself.
To do my map, I sort of did Beavis and Butthead lists . . . Things that suck. Things that are good.
To make my map, I wrote my sucks list in one corner, on a piece of paper, and my good things in the opposite corner (where I wanted to be), and drew a line between them. I put my feet on the line, while still deep in things that suck, but facing towards things that are good . . . my Happy Valley, and started walking. I am now mostly way over in Happy Valley, even though there were some mighty big mountains to cross on the trip.
As far as some of the other self-help sources, in my opinion, Covey was right, Dale Carnegie was/is mostly just personality and manipulation techniques, not principle based, and I kind of thought Zig Ziglar was a shallow boob.
But as far as making rules and discovering principles for yourself, Super Job on that, too.
A lot of guys like principle and checklist based systems. Me, too. A lot.
Back when I was a troop leader, I used checklists all the time. Pilots (hopefully
) use checklists before take-off.
I even run my business on this stuff. This is such simple, first grade level stuff, that it almost seems stupid at first glance . . .
1. A customer must have money.
2. A customer must be willing to part with their money for your product or service.
3. You must be able to provide your product or service for less cost than what your customer is paying you.
If you are in violation of any of these three principles, your business will crash. You would not believe the highly educated business (idiots) people that I encounter that do not a clue about these underlying principles. Even PhD's at the SBA barely comprehend that principles exist. This is why the dot com bust happened, why Enron, Worldcom, et al tanked, and why the US is bleeding economic losses out both ears.
Just like physics, math, chemistry. Rules and principles exist. Recovery land is no different.
The first challenge is discovering and verifying the principles, (sort of Coveys first three habits)
the second challenge is applying them, (Coveys next three habits) and
the third, is going back and checking them. (and correcting if needed; what Covey calls sharpening the saw.)
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Some feedback on your list, if you would like:
1. Only God Can Make Me Happy, If I Let Him.
*And the converse is also true. Solomon's version was that we exist to make God happy and that was the sole reason we were created. (sort of ironic that in the end Solomon had a very hard time fully applying the principles he discovered)
2. Love Is The Most Powerful Energy In the World.
*That is why this side uses it; He ain't no dummy
3. "I Love You, John". "You Are Beautiful And Amazing To Have Gotten This Far".
*Yeah, I recall when that part kicked in. Bad stuff (still on the inside of me) would come up against me, and I would have to debate it back. Kind of weak, Yeah, maybe so, but God loves me.
But when the automatic systems kicked in . . . geeezzz. It is like SDI on the inside. Now, the bad stuff gets shot down on its launch phase . . . even before I even know it is popping up. I remember the first time, it was something I actually heard, before I was even aware something bad popped up. "God loves you." Some might call it an auditory hallucination, but I call that Positive Feedback.
4. You Are Going To Daydream, Learn From Them.
*Yep, listen to your heart.
5. When You Are In a Trance, It Is Because You Are Afraid Of Facing Something. Accept It and Move.
* And while you are there, make sure you bring out the bad stuff and get rid of it. Getting it out leaves great big spaces in your heart for good things to grow. Don't forget that the lessons that you don't learn, and the tests you don't pass, you will have to repeat. Try to study them and get them right the first time.
6. When Stuck On The Inside, Shift Awareness To The Outside: Light. Movement. Music. Talking.
* As MLK said, Keep your eye on the prize.
My version of was a military march command. Continue to march.
It is a parade command, usually for a pass-and-review. When the unit ahead of yours makes a command for a right or left turn, and your unit keeps going straight until it gets to the corner, the command is to "Continue to march."
(Not like the troops really need to be told, we had went around the parade grounds at least a dozen times in practice.)
But that was how I would get through the dark spots. Keep my eyes towards Happy Valley and Continue to march.
7. Start Something, AND FINISH IT. Then Give Yourself a Little Reward. Deal With Paper, Right There.
* hmmm, ok, I think I really need to take this one directly from you.
Thanks!
8. I AM WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
*Worth fighting for. Worth living for. Worth winning for. And in the end worth letting the bad stuff die for.
9. Swim. Run. Play Basketball or Volleyball. Put Your Body and Your Senses Into Play.
*Mine was going ice skating. I had used it as an escape back then, during abuse times.
So when stuck on bad parts during recovery, I would go skating at the Galleria. I would joke to myself that skating around on a rink was like therapy and recovery. Even through you do not seem to actually go anywhere, you just go around and around the same place, but you get better . . . at skating and recovery.
At the time, little kids would come up and ask me to teach them to skate backwards. A time or two around following me around, watching my feet go backwards, and then a couple of times of me guiding them going backwards, and they would be going backwards on their own. Just happy and pleased little kids. Like they (we) all should be.
Now I think back that they were sort of little angels sent to carry me through. Now I see that it is sort of like the bad debts get paid back with interest. For the bad that was done to me, I got to (and still get to) return good. Pretty good stuff.
10. LOVE IS THE MOST POWERFUL ENERGY IN THE WORLD.
Yep, Continue to march, Sonlite.
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Hey, sorry to go so long, but one last suggestion . . .
While you are in the good and warm spot, drink up all the good you can. Sort of like a camel at a desert oasis. There are always some dark spots on the trip home to Happy Valley, and the good parts help carry you through. You know, if getting all better were easy, everyone would do it. But the challenge and struggle perfects the heart, mind, and soul.
See you,
Sunshine
