I have completely failed


I have completely failed at everything. I've failed as a son, as a worker and as a friend. I'm broke, I have sciatica, I'm unemployed and living in my parents basement. I've tried having plans, working hard, going to school. Nothing has worked. I've give up. I don't know what else there is to do.

Self awareness in determining our present state is a useful tool, and it sounds like you are working through the process.

Sciatica is a disabling condition and it really hurts, but you do not need me to tell you that. I have had injuries to the SI joint, but never sciatica.

BigV, as we continue through recovery, some of the things we thought were a 'given' in our lives may suffer as we focus our limited recovery resources on self love and internal validation. We may have been the #1 employee, the organizer of every family event, and meet with the boys for bowling every other Friday. We may have been on the Principle's honor list for our grades in school and had crafts and hobbies that absorbed us.

But that is not us now. We need to "give up" some of those things we give 110% to in order to balance the good worker with the good family man, the family man for self love, bowling for me time, and so on.

Giving up, BigV, is as much a part of recovery, as discovery and confrontation, for in giving up, we learn, we form new thoughts, and apply those thoughts, and survive.

Thank you for sharing, BigV, please keep posting through this process, and you will have the love and support of your brothers.

Hi, my fraternal brother, BigV.

My, brother, our road to recovery is a long and painful one. I'm sure that you already have figured that out.

I, don't think that you have failed as a son. There are just too many things swimming around in our heads, to try and concentrate on.

No, my brother, you have not completely failed. But what you need is a big dose of HOPE. Don't ever lose sight of HOPE. No matter how bad things seem to be, you have to hang on to HOPE.

Your brothers here, offer you our compassion, understanding, love & HOPE.

HOPE for you, HOPE for me & HOPE for our brothers here.

Hang in there, keep trying, my brother BigV, you are not a failure. Heal well, my brother BigV, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity."