mariposaman said:
So, to respond to Eyes1111, yes, women are victims of sexual abuse and yes, men are victims also. Don't let the narrowness of some feminists (though surely not all) crush your sense of your own survivor experience. While it may be true - and enough of us have had this experience, especially with 'academic feminists' - some sectors of the feminist movement only advance the agenda of females at the expense of males, and are apt to see males as the ONLY perpetrators of sexual abuse (and as, a priori, the "oppressors" in the culture). But thankfully their are enough healthy and progressive females 'out in the world' who know, only too well, that men can also be victims of female sexual abuse, not less than the reverse.
Donald
I'd love to believe you fully, Donald. Because nothing would please me more than to have a feminist acknowledge male victims.
But here's my problem:
Feminists who believe in male victims are still hesitant to even accept it. Moderate feminists, though well intentioned, hold on to the belife that it's the patriarchy that keeps male victims from speaking out. Since Patrirachy is a "Male" thing according to them, it's males who do the damage. Thusly, the whole sympathy they express is done from a very narrow view without consideration of the fact that women do this kind of thing and we shouldn't use excuses like "Patriarchal influence" or whatever. Some women are scum, just like some men are scum. Human faults. That's what it is: Humans with the capacity to hurt. However, even moderate feminists fall into the trap of making women unaccountable for their faults while still admonishing men for their own, even victims. It's not overt, of course.
Think about it: Why are theories like "Men are priveledged so they're experiences don't compare to womens", "Men can't be abused", "Women abuse because of patrarichy", and such harmful, toxic waste still allowed a voicebox? If feminists, ALL of them, truly cared about male victims, why do these faulty theories still exist?
Well, let me quote the graphic novel V For Vendetta again:
"We've had a string of embezzlers, frauds, liars, and lunatics making a string of catastrophic decisions. This is plain fact. But who elected them? It was YOU! YOU who appointed these people! YOU who gave them the power to make your decisions for you! While I admit that anyone can make a mistake once, to go on making the same lethal errors century after century seems to me nothing short of deliberate."
Like I said, no one in the feminist community is truly speaking out against those theories. Otherwise, extremists like Andrea Dworkin wouldn't still have a home in Women's Studies departments, influencuing venerable minds.
I'll accept their empathy but only with a grain of salt. And by the way, I'm also a believer in what feminism used to be: Women's rights but with accountability. I see feminism as it is now as Women's rights AT THE EXPENSE of accountability. How else to explain the continued abbetting of "Men are privledged, their experiences don't compare to women"
Darn, this whole thing brought up another negative experience with feminists I had. In a writing class no doubt. I wrote a story based on Dancer In The Dark, where Selma is given a chance to soar before her inevitable capture and execution (which is something I found lacking in the movie itself). I thought they'd enjoy it, so I read the results. As I was doing the voice of Selma, the teacher stopped me and said that my portrayal of Selma is problematic as the voice is to weak, making her sound weak.
I was so shocked! Firstly because I was trying to reproduce what she was like in the movie. If they had a problem with the voice, they should've directed it at the movie itself and not me. Though they've never seen it, so that's where their reaction came from.
Secondly, the character of Selma was FAR FROM WEAK! She's very strong on the inside and sacrifices a lot for her son to have a healthy life! HOW IN THE HELL IS THAT WEAK?!?
(By the way, you should check out the movie. It stars Bjork.)
I didn't say anything back, though I should've defended myself. Would've been counterproductive as I was the only male there in a sea of female "Women's Rights Supporters" who had their eyes all trained on me after the teacher pointed out how my portrayal of Selma is considered offensive. Now I'm stuck with this complex to the point where one of my latest one-man plays I'm working on, though abundant in female characters, won't have any portrayal of women characters by me anymore lest I'm accused of being a pimple on women's rights. I've taken a more narrative approach where the main character will just react and describe what others are saying to him.
Since that day, I've grown very suspicious of trusting feminists. Oh yeah, being told that it's not my job to defend patriarchy because I dared to say that masculanity isn't all bad added to the suspicion as well.
Okay, deep breath.
Now you know why I don't trust feminists nowadays anymore. I've had my creativity put on the spot by them and been told not to defend patriarchy.