I get scared when I have a good day

I get scared when I have a good day
O

onlyakid

I know it may sound wierd but for somereason I get scared when I have a good day. I don't know why or what I'm scared of, all I know is that I am.

Don't know if anyone else shares these feelings but if you do talking about it might help us both figure it out.

Jason
 
Jason,

I understand what you are saying. I too feel that way sometimes. There are several ways to analyse this feeling. Are you punishing yourself for having a good day? Are you afraid of the next bad day? Understand what I mean?

Perhaps we can start there.

Dark
 
Man, I know that feeling so well. I had a good week until today. Knew it was going to be bad. Somehow I just knew.

I hate it when this happens. I try and be positive. But dreams, daily life, therpay. I never know.

You force me to face this thing. I wish others would talk on this.
 
Good days can be just as much rough as the really tough days we have.I think that as survivors we get scared of many things and it becomes a part of all of us due to what we have been thru that to some degree it becomes first nature.I myself have days just like what you describe.
 
The feeling I get is like I'm waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop, being convinced that if something seems to be going right, then I'm not paying attention. I think that comes from a lot of places for me, not just the SA.

I try to ignore the sensation as much as I can and enjoy what I have for as long as I have it.
 
For myself, I think I used these feelings as an emotional "wall." If I go into a situation convinced that I will be dissapointed, such as telling myself work will suck or therapy will be useless today, then I am not dissapointed when it happens.

In doing this, however, I am setting myself up for failure. After reliving my past and working through it, I now know differently. For me it is a good day to be able to place both feet on the floor and go on with my life. It is a good day to see the sunshine. Most of all, it is a great day because I am able to face my reflection and know deep dowwn inside that I have worth and that I am special.
 
Thinking about this more, I think my fears were if I can do well then maybe this wasn't such a big deal. And if its not such a big deal, what am I doing making it so. Also I think its fear of having to do well more often, like I'm not capable of doing so.

I don't recognise feelings well so maybe that doesn't make sense
 
Don't minimize what happened. It is possible to acknowlege what happened to you and still cope well and function well, but to minimize it is a mistake- one that I made for a lot of years.
 
JTT,

I just want to jump in and second what Dewey has just suggested - and warned against. The whole process of "If A then B, then if B then C, etc.", can very quickly become rationalization, a way of dismissing or reshaping things so you don't have to face them as they really are. I bet we all fall for that one. Apart from the difficulty of getting us off the hook when we really need to face things, the next step after "What happened isn't important" is "I am not important". Down that road lies a whole LOT of hurt.

If you are having a good day, well, first, you are coping, so congratulations. And second, you deserve it, so congratulations again!

Take care,
Larry
 
Jason - I read this post a couple of days ago and I knew that I wanted to post an answer then. I couldn't think what I wanted to say!

Now I do! I first came here Dec 31st 2003, just before the year moved on to 2004.

At that point I didn't know what a good day was at all.... I was just about gone.

Jason, things have completely turned around! Now I have the odd bad day - most days are good.

Allow yourself to feel good. If the sun is shining plants grow. If it rains the plants are fed. If it is only ever sunny, the plants dry up and die. If it only ever rains, then everything gets swamped. We need a mixture of sunshine and rain to survive.

Best wishes ...Rik

*If you have a good day, don't feel guilty - tell yourself that you are going to have another one tomorrow. Why shouldn't you? Life is there - live it!!
 
I guess it all comes down to if things are bad, I don't have to worry about doing better things in my life. If things start to get better, then I have no excuse to not do anything about my life. If I don't do anything, I can't fail. If I fail, then everything I think about myself will be true. If I have an excuse, then I can say, well I'd probably be ok if I didn't have these problems

Jason

"I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains"

Only happy when it rains -- Garbage
 
Jason,

That sentence should be framed! That is exactly how it feels sometimes. Round and round in circles.

Larry
 
Jason,

I have had the same feeling. For me there was guilt involved. If I can enjoy myself or be happy even for an hour I was not paying respect to what happened to me. I was degrading myself to her level.

Guess what...........that was bullshit.

Now I know I deserve to be happy. So do you.

Your pattern of setting your self up for failure and having an excuse ready sounds just like me. I did that for years. In school , in relationships, in work and in every other part of my life.

Then one day I said what if I fail and I do not have an excuse. what happens then? The answer I found was ..........nothing.

Nothing happens. It does not change if I have an excuse or not. So why not try. If I fail then I am in no different situation but I will at least be able to say I tried.

I think we all have that idea that we are not good enough to be happy. We think we do not deserve to succeed. THAT IS NOT TRUE.

We, and I mean everyone here, merits happiness. Keep trying to be happy my friend. Every time time you smile at life, that is one more step to taking back what is rightfully yours.

Jonathan
 
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