I felt so "grown up." (TRIGGERS!)

[crisispoint]

Strange as this is, I got triggered by reading a f**king comic strip this morning!

In "For Better or for Worse," one of the main character's friends apparently "did it" (she's just 14, according to the artist/writer) and is feeling very grown up and mature for having done so.

Well, it's something I've mentioned and thought about, but in addition to the fear, confusion, shame, and everything ELSE I felt when I was a kid, there was one more thing I felt - "grown up" - after this whole thing started.

My classmates were bulling about sex, and despite it not being the "usual/natural" experience, I HAD it. They picked on ME for being "ugly," "fat," and "braniac," but I HAD sex. Someone found ME attractive enough to fool around with, and that made me feel very special and "grown up."

I wish I didn't have that now. Just another layer of unearned shame I have to work through.

Dammit.

Scot

 

[Aden]

Saw that comic strip. I was forced to start at age 9. My reaction to the cartoon was to wish I had gotten to wait so long, and that the point of the comic was dead on. It was sad. For Better or for Worse is great social literature.