I feel like I am back to square one

I feel like I am back to square one
K

kishka06

Registrant
Hi everyone,
My bf and I have been coming along in leaps and bounds in the last month. We have been seeing more of each other, he actually spent the night at my place (twice in the same week!) - the first time since he left in August. He even alluded to us moving back in together.

And then......
He accuses me of lying to him. I didn't lie, I just didn't understand his question. Now he thinks I am trying to cover something up, and that's why I 'lied'. So, now, he is threatening to break up with me. Everytime something happens, this is what he says. He completely withdraws and refuses to call or contact me in any way, and says maybe we are better off not together. BUT....when we are together, he plans for the future, we have planned 2 major trips together (with tickets bought and paid for), and he is very affectionate.

The reason I am posting here about this, is that I feel like I am on the proverbial roller coaster. When things are good, they're great, when we fight, he totally withdraws and accuses me of all kinds of stuff - last time it was cheating.

So, I am asking....I know trust is a major issue for survivors (and I know for a fact it is with my bf)...is this behaviour 'typical' (I am not meaning to stereotype here), or is my bf just a jackass?

At this point, I am getting to the end of my patience. I want to hang in there because we are so good together, and I love him to bits, BUT I can't take the constant testing and emotional mind games.

Can anyone give me any advice???????

Kishka
 
Just reading back over my post after getting some sleep.....I am thinking my frustration was showing because I asked if my bf was a 'jackass'.

I am just beginning to think that, he may just not be a nice person to begin with. I make excuses because I don't know if it's from the effects of his csa (which I am sure doesn't make you a mean person) and I need to cut him some slack.

I just wish he would be honest with me....it seems like he is playing with my emotions.

I am at a point where I think it just may be better to end it.
Kishka
 
I have no idea what to advise you to do Kishka,

I would say you have to prepared to be very strong in order to stay in a relationship with a survivor AND maintain your sanity. I have always felt that my bf is playing with my emotions...it takes a clear headed, strong woman to stay on top of it, I've never done so well at that!


take care,
peace
Beccy
 
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