I feel like an emotion magnet...

I feel like an emotion magnet...
L

LupinIII

Registrant
..I am a big believer in the 12 steps program that I am a part of for Adult Children of Alcoholics. I am trying to apply this program as a survivor of SA, but man it is hard.

One of the things I like about the program is minding my own business and no allowing the cr@p of other people to effect me. However I am becomming like an emotion magnet. I am all over the place and really bothered by what other people might and do think of me. I am also overly interested in everything going on around me...

...in a nutshell I am trying to control everything, when I can only control how i feel....

my fellow dudes..right now I feel like a nut job...I can't turn anything over and I'm an emotional wreck....oh well at least I am not depressed anymore....

thanks for reading....
 
Hey, brother,

I don't think I can say anything profound and witty because I'm in the middle of my own crisis (since when has my life been anything BUT a crisis?), but I know what you're saying and I understand.

I wish there was something I could do to make it easier.

You're not alone in this, Lupin. I want you to know that. That, and I care and hope everything will be better soon.

Oh, yeah, I hear you. Depression sucks. This kinda stuff is marginally better, but it DOES help get rid of the blues. :D

Peace and love,

Scot
 
I just wanted to say that this does suck.. and I have days where I want to crawl back into the hole because now that I allow my feelings and others to see them I feel like I am crazy, I am so emotional now. But I try to remember I am going to get thru this, we all will. We are so much stronger than we ever knew, someone tried to take that away, but they can't it is inside us all. My angel (GF) has been my savor, my reminder of who I am inside. Today she told me of a song, a song that made her think of me. It's Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush "Don't give up". It had a very strong affect on me, I don't think I will ever feel alone again, or think that I have to do this alone. If you get a chance, get it. If not, it is at least worth reading the lyrics. My GF has helped me see so much. I thank God for sending my angel before it was to late. I love her, and for the first time that I can even remember in my life, I "Feel" love and love for another...
 
thanks guys...it's like the friggin ship is shaking and nuts and bolts are falling all over the place..and woah there goes a window...I hope i don't fall apart...the worse part is i am stuck in indecision..ok there are many bad parts that I could call the worse...man i could use a miracle right about.....now....
 
I can relate to everything you have said. I am in a 12 step program too, and I do try to use the steps for sexual abuse issues but it is a lot trickier. A lot of the time, esp. when I am really feeling the effects of the abuse, I feel like a walking catastrophe. But at least I know where it's coming from--I walked around most of my life not knowing why I had panic attacks, had fantasies of being raped, etc.

Hang in there, we're here for you.
Jeff
 
Hey LupinIII,

Depression sucks. Walking around as a ball of exposed nerves sucks. The latter was me just two weeks ago, got to the point where I began making arrangements to check myself into the hospital. It all went away the next when I dumped one of the things that was causing me great stress. Hypersensititive is what I was told by a T and my pdoc. The pdoc says it went away because I stood up on my own two feet, instead of lying there and being walked all over, and then patted me on the back.

The sun will come out. The serenity prayer comes to mind. Nevermind the small stuff, take care to the big thing (you).

Take care,
Bill
 
It is a good idea to try to apply a 12 step program to recovering from SA.

I know the feeling of always worrying about what people may think of you, I have that problem all the time. You just need to go with the flow, that is the easiest way to deal with it, and try not to worry.

You are far from a 'nut job' you are just dealing the best you can, and sometimes it is good to feel a lot of emotions.

SOrry that I didn't have any really good advice for you.

scott
 
I tihnk that there is essence to us, also, as survivors, we know how much it hurts to be hurt. We know how badly our feelings, our security, everything has been damaged by people of our past. So, I think that leads us to have more empathy to other people, a lot of times. And also, that makes us care more of what others think of us, because often, we feel already as we are 'damaged' or 'bad'. I wish you luck, in dealing with your healing and your emotions, as I know it is difficult, but possible. Take good care of yourself.

leosha
 
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