@david I cant thank you enough for writing what you did.
I keep hearing "oh , you have to love your penis ".... easier said when you are large or average, or even thicker!
You're awesome. Thanks for being honest.
Also , my sperm donor had trained me as early as I remember that I had to go to my
cousin's house and pull my pants down , so they would laugh at my penis!!!
This really made me mental.
I don't want to talk about it too much.
Just mentioning.
@SDD757 .....thank you!
I think it does suck.
I really have no where to go.
That isn't entirely true.
But not knowing who to talk to.
I go to bars (gay bars). I feel more alone.
I am getting better.
I just want to love. and feel loved.
This crap that my father's family put into me .... f'n disgusting!
At least I have thoughts of the police going into their homes
"you guys are shit people! you lost , he won! " "where are you gonna go now , with
your cowardly thinking".
Or on social media.
I know I am not there , yet.
I intend to do stuff.
Being suffocated with fear of what might happen/ have .
I don't feel confident with change .... I wish I was more concerned w/ men here.
Technology is a weakness of mine.
Its hard when to share insight or how much.....
I used to attend a group for men, now I cant go b/c of one individual.
I am not smarter , fuck !! People are stuck , I cant just let people take it all.
I don't think its easy on anyone.
I need love. Fuck. People need attention, and affection, and pride .
Speaking specifically in the bars..... it really isn't anything what I thought it would be.
I am very different.
Ranting here!
Thank you guys , so so much.
If I could I would read every detail of everyone's post . ( im too sensitive for this at the moment)
But b/c I had to be everyone when I was too little. My boundaries, I need to take caution!
That is why , I really don't have many places to go.
I can relate to the phrase "Careful what you wish for".
xoxoxo
James