i dont love you.

[Sterling]

I can't tell
I'm not allowed
She can't know
I'm ashamed
"How , who can help me?
I don't know if it can work that way..
I feel tired. Trapped
I can't change
I feel I can't change them
Where do I go?
I don't know what to do
I'm not good.
I am stupid
I can't remember
I am them
How can I find out where
You better shut up.
Lonely
Angry
Erase this
What about my dreams?
This is so tough
Have no parents
I can feel sorry for myself..
What about everyone around me?
I get angry....I feel compelled to change everyone
Are not I responsible for everything?
Who will I talk to?
Where do I go?
I hate the people who...
I'm not them
I'm not bad.
But they have then..
I have to figure a plan...
I hate this.
Yea. Dad. ???
Got to go.
Thanks for taking me to them...
I hate...I feel frustrated. Lonely.
Abandoned. Some responsible loser
How do I get out of this
When will I have her
Money
Thanks
XOXO
J

 

[Sterling]

Hey.. you are not a boy.
James
Don't like them
Nmnmmmm
Hhnbb
I hate his penis.
I don't have a home.
J

 

[Sterling]

Letting go of my family.
Shelter. Looking for safety.
Ideas. Paranoid. Freedom.
Over and over...erasing my mind.
Sugar. Operating in their minds.
Sugar. Pizza. That's all.
I need me. I hate people. Only cause I can't think. I like people... but I can't talk.
Learning. Loving. Freedom.
Hopefully I get things done .
Kids mom. Thanks everybody!!!!
Enjoy your lives.

 

[.aseity]

still think of you and hope for the best Sterling we love you

 

[Sterling]

Make me.
Dyyy hhjjjj
Jjjhg
I hate my mom.
Fgjuuuuy6
What if?
Chhgfy

Can't focus
Good boy.
This isn't working
I need love
I can't keep living like this.
Home.
Jjggg
I can't say anything
Am I...
Guys aren't hurting
I couldn't get why I needed my cousins
Afraid of my mind
Need to be a kid
Didn't get to play
Don't want to feel sorry,
My opinion only, I think we are entitled to love ourselves!
Scared
Don't want to die
Don't want anything to happen
I have no idea where to go
Life sucks at the moment.
Hugging
I don't want any temptations

Thanks, and sorry
James

 

[Sterling]

Thanks for caring aseity.
It means a lot!!!!
Really can't thank you enough for stopping to send me some encouragement!

James

 

[Hope to Heal]

Hi James

Scared
Don't want to die
Don't want anything to happen
I have no idea where to go
Life sucks at the moment.

I too have many of these moments. I’m so sorry that you are currently feeling this way. I understand what you miss from childhood and can also relate to those things.
You wrote something that helped me and I wanted to say thanks. You wrote..

My opinion only, I think we are entitled to love ourselves!

You reminded me that we are entitled to love ourselves and we need to do that. I just wanted to write and say I read the post and truly understand what you said. Thank you for the reminder, it helped me tonight.
You were able to write what you feel concerning your mom. I am unable to admit how I feel concerning my dad. I hope someday to be able to do what you did here, feel the emotion and let it out. I admire what you were able to do.
I send hugs to you that the pain subsides some. Please take care of yourself and remember to love yourself as you reminded me. Thanks again James.
Rick

 

[Sterling]

I'm so sensitive. It's ridiculous!
I know. I need to try this app.
Gotta find the right people !!
Where and how do you fn do that!
I hate cousin.
Other idea .
Connect with locals.
I hate feeling stupid.
It's hard.
Loneliness
Trusting
I need to get going
Motivation.
Feel ing all the time
I m mad.
Sorry bout .
Love you guys.
I hope I can do good.

 

[Sterling]

I can't thank you enough Rick!
This shit. Is crazy!
I think too much.
Im alone, all the time.
Obviously my choice though.
I'm realizing the city isn't for me.
Love you so much Rick!
One kind dude to another!!!
Thanks again.
Thanks for reading. And caring.

James

 

[Sossity]

Feel proud of yourself! You are a survivor, you are strong, you are beautiful and you are here.

 

[Sossity]

You are not and are never alone,
we are with you,
hand in hand,
walking the same paths,
sometimes providing a map,
a new route,
help with each step
and sometime walking next you you in silence
you are not alone,
my beautiful friend.

 

[Sterling]

Home
Addiction to thinking
Can't be responsible
Nature. Woods
I don't know what to do
I didn't get to grow up

TRIGGERING
TRIGGERING
PLEASE
BE
CAREFUL.
THANK YOU.



Jackoff for cousin.

Movie.


Breathing
Meditation, ?
Art. Money!!
Fun. Grow up.
Speak. Conversations.

 

[Sterling]

You are not and are never alone,
we are with you,
hand in hand,
walking the same paths,
sometimes providing a map,
a new route,
help with each step
and sometime walking next you you in silence
you are not alone,
my beautiful friend.

That's beautiful work Sossity.
Thanks for caring!
I hate this. I can't stand them!
Thanks again!!

James

 

[Sterling]

Thanks for this malesurvivor.!
And technology!
Sorry.
Bju
I need..
I know I'm not making myself clear.
W. Concentrate.
I can't find, me.
Can't stand sperm donor
He's not here
I am embarrassed!
Clothes. Feel violence..
I'm embarrassed, again
Scared. Ashamed of, me
Remember her hideousness.
Jealous. Free, learn
I can't trust.
Home, shelter
I'm feeling bad.
Gotta go.
Thanks.

James

 

[Sossity]

James, we are still walking hand in hand with you. still here for you my beautiful friend.

 

[Sterling]

Thank you Sossitty!!


I'm embarrassed.
Ashamed.
Needing love.
Needing to touch myself.
Migfy
Please can I want to find love.
Loving someone else..
Freedom.
Why is this so hard? .

 

[lapchinj]

James, We're all loving you, my dear friend

 

[Sossity]

Thank you Sossitty!!


I'm embarrassed.
Ashamed.
Needing love.
Needing to touch myself.
Migfy
Please can I want to find love.
Loving someone else..
Freedom.
Why is this so hard? .

You are welcome, my friend, I can see your frustration. The word love means something different to each of us, you know can unpack this here, in safety. What are your frustrations? What are you looking for in love? We can help you explore these issues,, if that would help?

Please tell me what is behind this post?

 

[Sterling]

Thanks for all your support Sossity!

On mymindat themoment...
I'm trying to be what everyone wanted.
Perfect life.
I wish I could get this over and done with.
A guy is attracted to me,
I need a calm home
Afraid of NOT living.
I don't want to lose myself!
Thanks.
J

 

[.aseity]

On mymindat themoment...
I'm trying to be what everyone wanted.
Perfect life.

It could be a good mental exercise to treat yourself with the level of importance and approval as you do for others. I say this because I care about you and want the best for you, yet I don't always feel the same about myself so I sometimes have to think about how good I treat others and realize I need to treat myself just as good.

I wish I could get this over and done with.

I know the feeling very well. It takes infinite patience to set my sights on a good goal, and understand the point isn't just to reach my goal and be done, but yo use my goals as directions to keep me going farther. If nothing else follow your heart.

A guy is attracted to me,
I need a calm home
Afraid of NOT living.
I don't want to lose myself!

It can be an exciting development to engage with another and form some sort of relationship, always have safety nets in place if you. Definitely need a calm home to return to, some safe place where you can relax and center yourself between all the stuff we do day to day. It's hard to maintain a comfortable environment but not impossible, I have hope for you. I totally understand the feeling of NOT living life to the capacity that we should. I like to imagine a ladder, and I picture myself climbing the ladder. I can shape the ladder to my life situations no matter what it is, as long as I'm looking for my next step to keep climbing, I need the rungs (steps) to be kind of small and close together, and not big giant steps because it would be too much for me. The last thing we want to do is lose ourselves undergoing so much stress about trying to simply live and enjoy life. Thanks for keeping us posted! Love you! Care for you! -johnathan