i dont love you.

Sterling

Registrant
MIGHT TRIGGER, SORRY



Had sex with a guy tonight.
Ashamed of men.
( Cousin's mom's problem.
Used me for her hate toward her man her nationality)
I forced myself to want love.
Friends couldn't really have only relatives
I'm lonely. Angry. I don't want to be living blank blank.
Wish he didn't have the stamina he did
I was praying for him to finish

THIS MAY TRIGGER,
TRIGGER
TRIGGER
TRIGGER
SORRY



He orgasmed inside me
Grossed me out.
I'm getting better. I did want sex.
Thanks for being there Malesurvivor.
Hope I help you guys out somehow.
God bless.
Hope you men ( and ladies here) live life to
the fullest and feel really loved by you ❤
Hugs
James
 

JDylah_da_Kylah

Registrant
I'm sorry to hear that happened, friend. I do think it's a good sign that you wanted to be with someone--but, you know, these things are so rarely linear. We want but don't necessarily need. And sometimes we rush into the wanting when maybe it's not the right time . . .

Do you think, in the future, you'd be able to be very clear with any partners you may have about your own wants / needs (related to orgasm or anything else)?

Hope I help you guys out somehow.
Sharing our stories is helping each other, friend--that's the way I see it, anyway! Thank you for coming here to share yours with such unfiltered honesty. I'm glad you do, and I hope it helps you some to talk with us.

Peace to you, friend,
Dyl.
 

Sterling

Registrant
Thank you for caring Dyl.
I am very very grateful for your time .

Just wanted to say, and I don't want to anger anyone...
I'm so put off by friends with benefits.
I have a close friend who always wanted to have sex with me. I find it challenging to dodge the uncomfortable feelings.
I can't see how I could continue having a friendship with someone who I had sex with!
I'm a horny guy... but once that happens I could never take myself seriously.
Can anyone relate to keeping friends and sex seperate?
I enjoy both but not together.
Thank you!
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hey dad I want to inspire and motivate people.
Hhhhgfffddddfjhhhhhhgggggggggggfffvggggghhhggggggggghhg
Angry. Why?
I'm depressed. Why?
Where am I?
Hbbjjg hhhb nnnn
Jjgffffffffgggggg
Uujjjjjjj was thinking I want to move
Further east
Hhhgggfffff
Jnnjjj how do I go over there?
What about my clothes by
What's holding me back?
Scared m. Don't know
I will never be happy here
I feel like I screwed up. Feel like my cousin needed me
I didn't understand why he left me there
I feel like I'm not nice
Boys are not good, is what she would always tell me
I carry lot of shame
I don't know if moving to a different province is a good idea
Pandemic, bad luck..
My identity..I worry about where I live
I'm trying to find out.
I don't want my mom to feel like she'll never see me again
That's where I h feel stressed
My father and them kind of forgot me
I know I'm sounding strange but I always felt or even feel like I'm in a movie
Bhhhhhggddhhh
I'm sensitive. School of hard knocks.
You can't be happy here
People seem to, blankets grey . You are your cousin
I thought disorder very frustrated
I keep feeling, the place I live scared me
I don't want to fall
Nhfffffiii
I'm keeping it all perfect for them.
I wish I could runaway hhhhh
Hhhh I don't look after myself
J
 

matheus

Registrant
MIGHT TRIGGER, SORRY



Had sex with a guy tonight.
Ashamed of men.
( Cousin's mom's problem.
Used me for her hate toward her man her nationality)
I forced myself to want love.
Friends couldn't really have only relatives
I'm lonely. Angry. I don't want to be living blank blank.
Wish he didn't have the stamina he did
I was praying for him to finish

THIS MAY TRIGGER,
TRIGGER
TRIGGER
TRIGGER
SORRY



He orgasmed inside me
Grossed me out.
I'm getting better. I did want sex.
Thanks for being there Malesurvivor.
Hope I help you guys out somehow.
God bless.
Hope you men ( and ladies here) live life to
the fullest and feel really loved by you ❤
Hugs
James
Wow that's deep!
 

matheus

Registrant
Hey dad I want to inspire and motivate people.
Hhhhgfffddddfjhhhhhhgggggggggggfffvggggghhhggggggggghhg
Angry. Why?
I'm depressed. Why?
Where am I?
Hbbjjg hhhb nnnn
Jjgffffffffgggggg
Uujjjjjjj was thinking I want to move
Further east
Hhhgggfffff
Jnnjjj how do I go over there?
What about my clothes by
What's holding me back?
Scared m. Don't know
I will never be happy here
I feel like I screwed up. Feel like my cousin needed me
I didn't understand why he left me there
I feel like I'm not nice
Boys are not good, is what she would always tell me
I carry lot of shame
I don't know if moving to a different province is a good idea
Pandemic, bad luck..
My identity..I worry about where I live
I'm trying to find out.
I don't want my mom to feel like she'll never see me again
That's where I h feel stressed
My father and them kind of forgot me
I know I'm sounding strange but I always felt or even feel like I'm in a movie
Bhhhhhggddhhh
I'm sensitive. School of hard knocks.
You can't be happy here
People seem to, blankets grey . You are your cousin
I thought disorder very frustrated
I keep feeling, the place I live scared me
I don't want to fall
Nhfffffiii
I'm keeping it all perfect for them.
I wish I could runaway hhhhh
Hhhh I don't look after myself
J
Take care!
 

Sterling

Registrant
Ihhhhhjbb.
Thank you Matheus,
Thank you Sherlock,
Thank you Mando

Love the strength you guys attain, and
protecting me and my little guy from my mental illness.

Have trust issues.
Was too lonely due to my being responsible for the molesting done to me!
Getting better at it.
Hate wanting sugar when I'm stuck
Thanks Malesurvivor!!!!!

Girl clothing..
I don't know if I'm gay BC of the abuse.
Thanks again guys.
God bless .
Xoxo
James
 

matheus

Registrant
I know we all deserve this humanity. We deserve respect. We deserve support. @Sterling
But it's not a consequence of our issues, but because flowers are beautiful, especially when they bloom.
Blooming is what makes us unique. It's when we show our true colors, whether it is as sunflower or a rose.
In the meanwhile, thank yourself for being genuine, authentic, STERLING! ;)
Take extra care, James!
 

Sterling

Registrant
Thanks Matheus!
Those are beautiful words- poetic!
The support here is very encouraging...




I'm just little stuck..
Trying to see how to earn money to get out of this mess.

Thanks
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
Headphones
Scared
Of
Cousin
Hurry everyone knows you are,. ??
Haha you need me! You will die James
Hurry everyone knows you
 

Sterling

Registrant
This guy is FN weird
Why don't you die James.
I love you.
Be careful everyone is watching you James
We know you want you to want them
Better not eat.
Why would you like yrself?
You're so fat and..
You're useless
You'll never get through this.
Now go home!!!"
Ah my mommy. At least that's what they say
I better listen
Another day.
 

Sterling

Registrant
Sugar or your cousin?
Sugar or freedom?
Sugar. Exit the city
Exit your home
You'll always need me
Na wants friends
Not through here..
Friends sent health.
No! You listen to me!
WHO are you?
Not on television. It's so much fun when you're here
We can do whatever we want... isn't this fun?
Women are crap.
Only them pal. Don't let myself listen to that understanding that their all like that.
How do I keep going?
How do I keep going?
Where is home??
 

matheus

Registrant
Sugar or your cousin?
Sugar or freedom?
Sugar. Exit the city
Exit your home
You'll always need me
Na wants friends
Not through here..
Friends sent health.
No! You listen to me!
WHO are you?
Not on television. It's so much fun when you're here
We can do whatever we want... isn't this fun?
Women are crap.
Only them pal. Don't let myself listen to that understanding that their all like that.
How do I keep going?
How do I keep going?
Where is home??
James, could you give a hint about what do you mean by that? Take extra care! ;)
 

JDylah_da_Kylah

Registrant
It sounds like things are extra rough right now for you, friend . . . not to state the obvious. But I'm sending good thoughts your way and hope that if you want to get out of where you are, you're able to. <3

Hang in there, James.
Dyl.
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hold on. . Second k
I'm working on something...


I learned that the reason I don't have any friends in this city is because subconsciously I want my dream
Lone Wolf.

Next I can't go to my cousin's I turned to food.
I keep thinking I'll be rich,. probably old stuff I was told to keep me dreaming
I also am gay but.
Get angry when I click to go on hookup apps
Then I feel angry for doing that
But I want attention.
I'm worried about where to live!
I don't want to offend my mom
But this is terrible situation.
I feel lucky. But I'm doing this work on me ongoing...I'm worried where I'll go.
I am not an asshole.
I do well.
Thanks
J
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hey Matheus, friend!
My words was an ultimatum when I was abused.
My abusers would encourage me to eat cake and pizza,
Rather than learning to speak,
I didn't feel safe with the alternative of leaving their apartment
I was always in the dark.
I developed an eating disorder early in life/binge eating.
Forcing me to eat until I couldn't eat anymore and then congratulating me.
I had these problems all my life, with food.
They also would tell me that I was on television.
Does that help any?
Thanks for caring Matheus.
Hugs,
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
This stuff is hard work.
I never would want anyone to live like this.

Looking in the mirror
Enjoying Sunday
How can I leave?
Where will I go who will I get?
I hope you want it all and it really pisses you off you can't be better.
 
Top