i dont love you.

Sterling

Registrant
Japtnfilfo
Yelliing. I turned into them
Where were my parents?
I never want to talk to him.
Anger. You are. Know you want to do.
Mouth needed to stuff food.
I angry. Jjjjjjh
I can't stand living where I live.
Wish I could move. Feel stuck.
Like , kid was.
How can people get through this?
This is he'll.
Looking at his face.
He hates his family. Coward.
Where I live isn't safe.
Special. Feeling responsible .
Mind can't adapt to feeling responsible for cousin's, and their family.
Want to go back. They told me I would kill
if Billie. They wanted me to have a sex change. That's why I'm so stressed.
How do you survive?
Especially. Can't live with drug users.
Wish I could tell my landlord.
I'm begging you let me go.
Don't want to see anyone here.
It's not exaggerating.
How would it be easier jjjjjjhghhhhh
Hhhhhhhh hjjjujuuh
I'm your dad". We like you. Your mom blank
Kjhgghjj jjjj hkjhh. Sperm donor did nothing
I watched TV porn.
I then became like my cousin.
I feel like I had no choice.
I don't know where to go.
I hate living here
I understand nobody is talking to me right now. I don't want to be here like this.
Noone gave a shit. I need the cops.
I don't want them. In me.
What if cops don't give a crap?
I can't handle seeing his face and family.
I need to earn money.
I'm not into sex. I'm trying to hurry.
Don't like caring about him.
Definitely didn't have a choice.
Rejected. Thanks for the support!!!
Hugs
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hope you fall hard k.k. hope your son Billy
gets what he deserves..
Please help me. I need to tell my story.
Please police help me.
I want this stuff out. They should all be accountable!!!! I am not dumb
Never did sperm donor care.
Thanks everyone at malesurvivvorr.
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hey...gay. did you want me?
Go home."!!
Grade 1. I need attention. I never got attention as a kid. Feeling lonely.
Trust him.
" Why can't you call me?". You're not my cousin. That's it.?
Where are you? Nbbbb want to tell.
Earn . Bbggjhdf fff stop. App . I want
Someone to care. Hurtful... they got what they wanted. Guys here arnt my family
Guys here deserve more.
Jail. That's confusing ... my brain won't think
Just eat. Who am I? Scary. I'm so jealous
Thinking of moving to another province
I'm not important. Hard to trust. Pizza not good for me. I'm in a movie.
Disassociation. Feel dumb. Hopeless.
He wants me to go there... my mom might never see me again. Had to hate her.
Dumb cunt. Changing me. This hurts.
Hgdffgggnn angry. Move. Hate drugs.
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hate my brain. Always have to try to get attention. I go on these apps. I feel ashamed. Mental illness from abandonedment. Follwd by loneliness, surging imaginative thoughts BC everyone laughed at me, more loneliness, Desperation
Do you like me? They ask. Noone can know
Triggers conversation only with me.
Pressure on my eyes and head ....
Hoping to primal tears.
Fantasy, sperm donor needs me to keep quiet BC he hates himself, and points blame on me. His brother, same. Movies scared the shit out of me.
That's my time.
Thanks for your help ms.
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
Gay. Horny. But I like hot coloured women.
Don't want cousin's. Or family.
I don't, can't bell . Don't want to feel their families problems. Hard to do this.
Too much. I don't want to eat.
Dfjhhh giving in. Looking at guy hookups?
When I swallow.it easier .
Don't know how to seperate myself from them. He made it easier for him.
Njjjjjdf. Not my mom. They wanted to be perfect!! I really miss Carmen. She was my best friend.
He kept touching my behind.
Hate".
Life is hard isn't it sperm donor??
You want your tiny peepee looked after?
You and your shit family... you all are so smart mess with a kid's life.
LOSERS
 

Sterling

Registrant
I was wondering why I have to go back to him. I need you daddy..
What if you DID need him
Why did you leave me?
I have no friends.
Noone to talk to..
Sorry to see you go....I want to go home!"
My niece said she wanted to go home
Where is??? What? Mom/ Dad?
Friends are no good. That's what that cunt said to me.
I miss you Jeff , Matt, Crystal.
I think I needed that connection with Jeff.
He no longer lives here.
Gay. Doesn't work. Can't make things up,
just so cousin's get an easy life!
 

Sterling

Registrant
K brain.
Let's see. Not showing off.
I wish those guys didn't move out.
What happened? Fxxx.
Michelle I'm lonely, angry.
Don't know me. You say dismiss those thoughts..why did they have to do all that crap? I was an innocent kid.
I'm so lonely. Every time I get to their house I had to forget what they did once I entered their home.
What happened to think of this tonight,?
This guy Jeff! I thought it was getting ..
The guys aren't here. I curious.
Saw men's junk on an app.
When I feel pissed off . Go home
I don't know where that is...I want friends
Friends arnt apps with guys penises
What am I wanting?
Place to go and meet. I hate this.
There wasn't. I my brain dumb for them.
I'd be angry too. Maybe just learn
Don't have to act out. My stupid sperm donor needed life. I somehow became responsible for him and his family.
I thought it I connected. Billie,?
Billie sent these men. These guys don't care
about me. Nobody fucking cares.
I really don't want sex. Not without a parent
next to me. Who are you?
I'm very fucked up. I don't want to get anyone angry or depressed.
Addictive to look at guy's penises
My dad. Pizza is the only thing that makes me feel loved.
It's been a long night. Haven't slept.
Im gonna miss Jeff Matt Crystal.
I was getting so comfortable with them.
I feel worse. I'm so desperate.
That's why I'm a turnoff , to that one guy on the app. Always felt special.
Before talking. Dress me as a girl.
I was going to check if I got any new messages on the app.
Feelings can hurt.
K gotta log off
Thanks for letting me share MS
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hey James.
Hi how are you?
I'm good. How are things?
I miss the guys who lived upstairs.
My mouth is watering for Jeff.
We will listen. We may not be able to do much else but that we can do.
Blessed be peace unto you and good ripples brother.
Thanks bud! I really appreciate that.
I'm ridiculously alone, but pushing forward.
I better Malesurvivor back.
The support here is incredible ❤❤❤
Can't thank you guys enough!!
J
 

Sterling

Registrant
Hey James, how are you doin?
I'm good how are you?
Well! What's happening?
I miss these guys who lived upstairs..
Now their gone . Jeff. Jeff and I were getting close.
I think I really wanted him and I to have sex.
He's gone. I worked hard at being careful with him. I need that connection with a guy .. very difficult with dating apps!
Hate this. I feel like I'm in jail.
What if I have sex with this Josh guy, I'm texting.. " you flirt with me, now you don't want me, what is this? This is fucked up!"
What if I get pissed off? I'm lonely.
I think I need friends. Guys on dating/ hookup apps aren't looking for friends
Would love to fucking beat my sperm donor
Get his shit family to tell all the people why I'm behaving the way I am!
Then stop. What are am I feeling ..?
I want a home. "
These men aren't your family James
My family took my childhood.
Acting out? Hate being so wanting to be loved and have a place..
These guys want sex.i want friends.
Have to practice. Anger sucks.
I'm special BC I m to be responsible for my father's family's feelings
What if I get angry while engaging in intimacy..
I can't say more right now.
Thanks everyone ♥♥
James
 
These guys want sex.i want friends.
I am not sure what to say and not sound stupid. You deserve to find those friends and not be used. I think this day and age that’s not so easy. I have a friend that broke up with his partner of about 20 years and he tells me the same thing. He was to meet friends and maybe then find that special person but he says it like now it’s just about hooking up. That’s not him. Like him I am sure you are a great person so be kind to yourself.

stephen
 

Sterling

Registrant
Thanks Stephen.
I'm doing the best that I can.
I don't want to change anyone, but nobody can be what I don't want to be!
How do you forgive stupid people?
Labels don't work well for me...
I was taught to hate myself.
So how can I ,. Frozen momentarily.
Thank you so much Stephen !
 
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