i dont love you.

Most likely our ancestors (me too!) were from colder climates - if it didn't "hide" it would suffer from frostbite. Whereas those from warmer climates, would want to "keep it aired out" to keep it cool.

It is all in the genes!!
 
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Sterling

Registrant
I am writing , I am inspired by Calla.
I am lonely. I am shy. I keep wishing that my body was more lean.
I struggle w/ this all the time.
I really like this guy at a bar. He is so much hotter than me.
This felt better in my head. Thanks for everyone's support over the years.
I couldn't have gotten this far w/o malesurvivor.
Now I know I need to be careful with whom I share what .
I feel wrong about loving men. wtf.
this post sucks.
hugs.
james
 

Sterling

Registrant
i never had a parent. very dangerous . I hate fdsjkl; yea have to turn it off. how do you if a guy is into me?
I am so lonely. I am afraid. aslk;fj im fucked up. kin.sdflkjdsklj;ds
I need love. try not to. asdfkl;ja;lkfja;klsdaflksdafdddddddddddssssssaaaaddddddddddddsdsdddsdsdsdsds
I wish I ncer vn never had this fantasy of being r..... jkl;sdkjldf I think of this guy at a bar.
and I am tooooo shy. and he is hotter than me.
and I hate this hi thi where I am special or that I sm thias;dfklja;fdalkj lfj
asdf;lksjad;lkjfad;klfa;fklf saf;kladfjakf
asfasdklf;jasf;klf;ksdjal;fsa;fsdajfaf
safdafda;lkjfaf;klajfada;fjda;fsdaj;fdsjs;dfajsajfkl;sfsdafdsfsdafa
sorry and thankyou
 

Sterling

Registrant
I just wanted to say hi.
These abusers are shit! I hope the men here , see that they are really good guys. These abusers/losers don't deserve your time;
in or out of your head.
I may not make sense. But really just do what it takes to do good things for yourself and just
LIVE!!! The world is waiting for good guys like us to show them that we WON!!

james
 

DavidM-LT

Registrant
Most likely our ancestors (me too!) were from colder climates - if it didn't "hide" it would suffer from frostbite. Whereas those from warmer climates, would want to "keep it aired out" to keep it cool.

It is all in the genes!!
For what it’s worth @Sterling , size is really all relative. Even erect, because it depends on the extent of the excitement.

And.... those with long flaccids often don’t get bigger, or much bigger, when erect.

I hope no one wonders too much. I have a fountain of knowledge about this stuff from God-only knows where
 

Sterling

Registrant
@david I cant thank you enough for writing what you did.
I keep hearing "oh , you have to love your penis ".... easier said when you are large or average, or even thicker!
You're awesome. Thanks for being honest.
Also , my sperm donor had trained me as early as I remember that I had to go to my
cousin's house and pull my pants down , so they would laugh at my penis!!!
This really made me mental.
I don't want to talk about it too much.
Just mentioning.

@SDD757 .....thank you!
I think it does suck.
I really have no where to go.
That isn't entirely true.
But not knowing who to talk to.
I go to bars (gay bars). I feel more alone.
I am getting better.
I just want to love. and feel loved.
This crap that my father's family put into me .... f'n disgusting!
At least I have thoughts of the police going into their homes
"you guys are shit people! you lost , he won! " "where are you gonna go now , with
your cowardly thinking".
Or on social media.
I know I am not there , yet.
I intend to do stuff.
Being suffocated with fear of what might happen/ have .
I don't feel confident with change .... I wish I was more concerned w/ men here.
Technology is a weakness of mine.
Its hard when to share insight or how much.....
I used to attend a group for men, now I cant go b/c of one individual.
I am not smarter , fuck !! People are stuck , I cant just let people take it all.
I don't think its easy on anyone.
I need love. Fuck. People need attention, and affection, and pride .
Speaking specifically in the bars..... it really isn't anything what I thought it would be.
I am very different.
Ranting here!
Thank you guys , so so much.
If I could I would read every detail of everyone's post . ( im too sensitive for this at the moment)
But b/c I had to be everyone when I was too little. My boundaries, I need to take caution!
That is why , I really don't have many places to go.
I can relate to the phrase "Careful what you wish for".
xoxoxo
James
 

Sterling

Registrant
I ashamed. and I am working on my self confidence.
I am gay or bi. whatever. I like men. I wish I could make more sense.
feelings.
 

Sterling

Registrant
thanks David.
thanks SDD757
thanks Kal
That really put a spark in my heart!

im not proud of myself at the moment. I watched straight porn last night.
and then tonight I attempted the same . I don't know what to say.
I don't think I want to know what men or women look like nude.
I know I , sexually I would love to be w/ a man.
Am learning how to make conversations.
Its in sdfkj asdf;kjk;dfsad;kfjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjl
sadfk;jsd sdafa;kdfja f they made me them. its not normal to like guys.
I have to undo this. b/c sperm donors frere cant /wont be gay.
i am ashamed that I thought I was so smart. working on not putting
myself down. I was taught that I didn't deserve friends. / love.
I just think....I am doing a great job. It just feels scary, lonesome.
Went up to a guy at a bar tonight, was hoping it would lead to something.
When (as great as he was, kind , handsome) , I lost interest.
I get so desperate to get these emotions out.
But, then I had this voice "be honest"....don't flirt any further.
It didn't end too embarrassing. I am learning.
I guess. also my sperm donor doesn't really have anyone.
So he fucked me up. Guys / strangers shouldn't be intimidated by me.
Now I realize that is just my ego. which is low self esteem underneath.
Its so hard doing this. im lonely , but I don't want to use anyone, for my gain.
This city also, isn't easy for a sensitive guy. Sometimes I wonder if I should move
But move where? The wildnernes would be great. But what life can I do out there ?
Who will I talk to? Hi trees how are you today ? me ? oh im ….
What terrible grandparents I had. Just really messed me up.
And then I am told I am a;slkdjfas;dlkfj sorry. frustrated.
I try to move on. What was a big blow was I had too much time w/ my sperm donors sister in law.
And so I have to do my work. not let the past in the present. all this shit.
my bio dad really didn't give a fuck. I didn't expect this.
I don't want to use friends. I got one friend. I don't want to make him part of my dumb family's problem.
I am so shy. and I want a guy who is fairly fit. I can go bananas over how I hurt myself physically.
I look silly on transit , healing my body. I wish I could coddle me . I can.
it hurt how they . I
Scared of my own thinking.
I really need to be held and make love. sorry to heterosexuals.
Fascinating that this fear is from the past and I allow it to scare me today.
My cousins wouldn't let me be me. I had to forget everything.
I had to pretend like they saved me. from what ? a life ? .
I hope I never look at porn ever again.
Its nice ...and i love it ...that all the guys here help each other out.
i feel less alone ,esp when i walk around .
I dont feel so bad.
i should call it a night. thanks for all the creations. internet . ms.
not porn. lol.
how do these guys have such big junk. ? send some my way .
sorry. i hate bedtime.
j
 
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