I dont know what to do

[Paint]

It feels like all I have been doing for the last month is thinking about everything that has happened to me.
I go to therapy 3 times a week. It's like a constant reminder that bad things happened to me.
It's almost like I'm being forced to think about it over and over and over again.
Then I get labeled. They say I have PTSD, depression, eating disorders, sleeping disorders, attachment disorders.
Every time something new gets added Its like a reminder I'm broken. It's like they are saying, "Oh yeah don't forget this is broken as well!!"
I hate it. I hate every second of it. I don't want to go to therapy, I don't want to take medication, I don't care if I ever get better.
I hate my life, I hate my mind, I hate everything and anything. I'm constantly irritated, I'm always jumpy and stressed.
Worst of all I feel like I'm going down a drain and everything is moving but it's just going down and I can't get out.
I'm doing everything they say will help, but it's not.
I don't know what to do.

 

[Strangeways]

There is no reason you have to go to therapy three times a week if it's not helping you. Is it helping you? And if it's not helping you, have you told your therapist that it's not?

I'm sorry you're not feeling so great. It's not an easy journey for sure. Not everyone thrives doing it a particular way. Maybe you need a different path.

 

[NC-Survivor]

So sorry that is happening to you. I know it must be frustrating.

Have you tried doing activities outside of therapy? Maybe something to take your mind off of the "issues" and give you a sense of "normalcy"

 

[F.A.]

@Paint My heart aches for you and how you are feeling. I can say most of us have gone through that part of this journey in one way or another. It is sad that the therapist has to label us to document why and how they are treating us. Don't become your labels become you, I always say labels are for canned goods, not people. Tell your therapist how this is making you feel. How the labels and direction of the sessions have affected you. Don't give up man we are here with you.

 

[smc1972]

Paint I feel for you and the frustration and wish I had some great words of wisdom. All I can say your not alone and somehow you just have to keep moving. Things may not go in a straight short path, you might bounce around but as long as you move forward in the end that’s the important thing. I feel at times I go backwards but in reality I am still further ahead then I was two years ago.

 

[KMCINVA]

Paint

When I was in therapy I would tell the T I always felt worse after the sessions. He explained to me I was uncovering the past, acknowledging it. Acceptance of the past, my loss of childhood, the negative acts around me at the time, the pain and unlocking the darkest memories were causing me the greatest pain. In time I accepted everything, and to be honest it took me a long time. I went once a week to therapy, maybe you need to cut back on the number of times you go so you can process what he felt, what you acknowledged at the session. Talk to your T.

Also remember abuse leaves open wounds that we have not allowed to close. You are facing the past and I can tell, from my experience, the pain and realities I faced needed to be processed. There were times I wanted to give up and with support and love from wonderful people they encouraged me to keep healing. We are here for you, vent, rant, rave and let the pain out. I wish there was a magic pill to make the pain go away.

Kevin

 

[bbats123]

@Paint I also feel for you. I also take medicine and go to therapy 4x/week. My therapist is careful to make sure that my talking about the abuse isn't a way for me to 'self harm' so what you say is really important and true: sometimes it's not healthy to constantly revisit the abuse. We all need a break and a reminder that we have other parts of our life as well. When I get into a spot where it seems like the abuse and memories are constantly on my mind, I feel like I'm going down the drain and I feel like I hate my mind, too.

Maybe try to talk to your therapist and explain what is happening. They don't want to increase your pain and should listen to you.

Hang in there my friend and know that you are not alone in this. Keep talking to everyone and it will get easier.

Bryan

 

[Winterfr3sh]

Can you tell your therapist to back off the labeling? Maybe they don’t understand the importance of treating you as a human being first. Another error therapists can make is getting ahead of you, instead of walking with you through your journey.
I am happy to hear you’re going to therapy. Do you think you could tell the therapist what does and doesn’t work for you?