I Do

[JC1]

He humiliated me.
My brother.
He broke me open
and left me hollow.

I thought—
if I stayed quiet,
maybe it would stop.
Maybe it meant
he loved me.

That was the lie.
The one I clung to
so I wouldn’t fall apart.

Then he let them watch.
Their eyes.
Their laughter.
Still echoing.
Still crawling under my skin.

That’s when I stopped being a person.
I became a thing.
Something to use.
To pass around.

The shame—
it dug deep.
It whispered, your fault.
It whispered, you wanted it.
And I believed it.

I hated myself
for still wanting him to care.

I go back there sometimes.
Not to relive it.
Not to drown.
But to face it.
To stare it down.
To call it what it was.

I won’t stay there.
I won’t be held down again.
I won’t be used again.
I won’t be forced again.

Not by him.
Not by anyone.

Because I am still here.
Because my voice—
is mine now.

He took my silence.
He doesn’t get my story.
He doesn’t get my life.

I do.