I delete because I feel like a fool

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I delete because I feel like a fool

I wrote a couple of posts today. And deleted them. Because they seem so pathetic.

A friend here (if he still is) told me never to do that.

But I don't want to be percieved as the weakling I have always felt myself to be.

One of the posts talked about my crying this morning. I have been crying all day. And I can't seem to stop.

I promise my friend(?) I won't delete this one.

I am just so sad. And I can't put my finger on why.

Marc
 
Well that explains why when I wrote my post and hit 'add reply' it told me the post never existed. I thought I was going nuts.

I read about how you figured out what was bothering you today and I was going to tell you how proud I was for you because sometimes just knowing what bugs you can take away some of the fear.

We are all still here for you no matter what you are going through.

I hope you got the phone call you were looking for, I'm sure threre was a logical reason it didn't come through right away.

Hang in there Marc.
 
Marc,

What was it I told you? You feel what you feel, and there is no right nor wrong, only that you DO.

I also said that there is NOTHING wrong with either tears or feeling less than strong. I know you know this, my brother, but I want you to hear it. You can't hear it often enough.

I'm sorry that you hurt so, but it will pass. I know it will. And I know you will get through it. I believe in you.

If you need me, as always, I'm here.

Peace and MUCH love, Marc,

Scot
 
Hey,

It sounds like you are in a pattern of depressing yourself...I really think you need to break your pattern...like...oh...RIGHT NOW. You are not pathetic, nor are your posts. Yes, you are feeling upset right now, but those feelings will pass. Please don't believe them because they are not true, just unhealthy tapes repeating themselves in your mind.
 
Marc,
It is okay to feel weak, and their is nothing wrong with crying. You should never be ashamed of your emotions. They are what make you human.
Casey
 
No kicking yourself in the backside. That's reserved for me to do to myself. ;)

If you posted a new topic, it must have been something that was important to you. We're here to help and be helped. Leave them up and get answers, thoughts, ideas, stuff out, or whatever. We're not here to judge you.

Take care,
Bill
 
Yep, you're a man and you're feeling your feelings. That's great. It takes a real man to cry. Sometimes I've got my days were all I seem to do is just that, cry.

Don't be your worst enemy. All of us have done that for too long. Let it out my friend, let it out.

By the way, you're not a fool. If you're a fool then we're all fools. I think I've gotten to the point, well at least sometimes, that I let every emotion that I've got come out. I don't do it for anyone else but me. So do it for yourself. It's cool, it's alright.

Take it easy.
Fusion
 
Marc - recovery is a very strange beast.

Since Dec 18th of last year (my real starting point.... a bit of a delay from late Summer 1969), I have experienced extreme highs/lows and many levels in between. They do balance out - I initially experienced some very rapid recovery ( I think it's called release).

I have trusted others & had major distrust of others. Some with reason & some with no good reason.

Sometimes I have posted here & woke up the next morning wondering what the hell I had typed / had I upset anyone / had I inspired anyone / did I sound like a total loon?

I haven't upset anyone yet that I know of, but I have received a lot of genuine support.

Cry if you want... I do now & I promised myself at 12 that I would never cry again!

Best wishes ...Rik

Sharing your feelings & emotions here may just help someone else...remember none of us are alone here!
 
I know where you're coming from, man. I still freak out sometimes when I post here... and sometimes I will type out an entire post or a reply and then not send it. I think it is just that feeling of being vulnerable that is so damn scary sometimes. Same with crying... I still have a hard time letting it come. It takes a major trigger for me to let it through and sometimes not even then. It takes a lot of courage to break through and let the emotion come... even more courage to talk about it.

We are all in this together... and when I hear about you crying or your fears, it helps me to acknowledge my own. I'm glad that you posted this...
 
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