I believe you, they're just 3 words
There's always seems to be Risk associated with telling anyone "what happened".
When I was starting this process of healing from the unimaginable "it", I didn't reveal certain information. The Risk of not being believed was too much for me to even consider it.
1) My mother never abused me:
2) Memories came back in a flood after my dad/perp died
3) I was on FMLA at the time.
I was talking with my Mom. My Mom always had a very strong Christian faith. She had a statue of the Madonna, about two feet tall, in a special nook in our house growing up. Always had candles lit for people who had passed. Went to church twice a week, Bible Study, The whole thing. She brought that Madonna to her next house, it had a place of honor. After perp/dad died, she had candles, a rosary, prayer cards, all the rest you'd expect, at the feet of that Madonna. She had that statue for about 50 years at this point. A symbol of her faith.
One day, we sitting at her kitchen table. I don't recall what we were really talking about. She didn't know that I was on FMLA due to her husband.
She asked THAT question. That question that you don't ever want to hear anyone ask you!
"Did your father do something sexual to you?"
I paused. Felt like a long time. The shit that went through my brain in that moment. Like a million things. Everything I had dreaded. (I had tried to tell one of my brothers when I was 16 what was going on and he flat out accused me of being "a Fucking liar!" )
This was 14 ish yrs later.
Yet, I managed to say one word, like a whisper, "yes". I waited for what I expected. Damnation and disbelief. I started thinking about which bridge I should choose.
She stood up without a word, I honestly thought she was going to slap my face, walked over to that Madonna, now I thought she was going to make me swear I was lying, but instead she picked it up, and then walked outside.
I could not understand what was happening.
She threw the Madonna into the yard
went back and did the same with the candle and everything. I was so shocked, I couldn't speak. She came back with a shovel and proceeded to smash EVERTHING !! I could not believe my eyes.
MY 100 pound mom swinging that shovel over her head.
She stopped. Walked over to me, and while hugging me tightly, said "I believe you".
When I was starting this process of healing from the unimaginable "it", I didn't reveal certain information. The Risk of not being believed was too much for me to even consider it.
1) My mother never abused me:
2) Memories came back in a flood after my dad/perp died
3) I was on FMLA at the time.
I was talking with my Mom. My Mom always had a very strong Christian faith. She had a statue of the Madonna, about two feet tall, in a special nook in our house growing up. Always had candles lit for people who had passed. Went to church twice a week, Bible Study, The whole thing. She brought that Madonna to her next house, it had a place of honor. After perp/dad died, she had candles, a rosary, prayer cards, all the rest you'd expect, at the feet of that Madonna. She had that statue for about 50 years at this point. A symbol of her faith.
One day, we sitting at her kitchen table. I don't recall what we were really talking about. She didn't know that I was on FMLA due to her husband.
She asked THAT question. That question that you don't ever want to hear anyone ask you!
"Did your father do something sexual to you?"
I paused. Felt like a long time. The shit that went through my brain in that moment. Like a million things. Everything I had dreaded. (I had tried to tell one of my brothers when I was 16 what was going on and he flat out accused me of being "a Fucking liar!" )
This was 14 ish yrs later.
Yet, I managed to say one word, like a whisper, "yes". I waited for what I expected. Damnation and disbelief. I started thinking about which bridge I should choose.
She stood up without a word, I honestly thought she was going to slap my face, walked over to that Madonna, now I thought she was going to make me swear I was lying, but instead she picked it up, and then walked outside.
I could not understand what was happening.
She threw the Madonna into the yard
went back and did the same with the candle and everything. I was so shocked, I couldn't speak. She came back with a shovel and proceeded to smash EVERTHING !! I could not believe my eyes.
MY 100 pound mom swinging that shovel over her head.
She stopped. Walked over to me, and while hugging me tightly, said "I believe you".
