I am sorry

I am sorry
M

Malidin41

Registrant
Hello everyone,

I am going to make this short because I do not want this to turn out like my last post. I am no longer going to be making personal posts on this board because of the last one and how it turned out. I will still post on your posts to give you feed back and ideas to move forward. I am posting this to say a couple of things about the last post to clear up some things and to try and make it more simplified and uncomplicated.

All I wanted to know from my last post was should parents make children always be covered with clothing, (meaning at bed time always were pajamas, and so on, use your imagination.) or should they allow them to be more open with themselves in order to grow and be unashamed of there bodies. I was not by anymeans talking about sex. I thought I made that clear but with the reaction of most I guess I had not. Anyways this is turning out to be longer than I wanted. I thank you all for reading that long post and I thank you for your responce. I also thank you for reading this. I will see you all, and again I will do my best to get on more often and post on your topics. I know that some of you probally do not care about my advice but I hope that I can offer something to at least one of you. Thank you again.

Malidin.
 
I feel like what I just posted still is not saying what I want it to. Or maybe its just to long and that is not what I want. So let me make it a little shorter and to the point.

Is society holding back our children in there sexual development because of the extream stigma we put on the naked or half clothed body.

That is my question plane and simple.

I am not asking if having sex with children is ok. I am not asking if fondeling children is ok. I am not asking if abusing children in anyway is ok. I am not trying to justify my abuse or anyone elses. I am asking a question that I think is important for everyone to think about. And if the answer is what I think it will be then maybe people should begin to take a stand and stop the madness. God I feel so incredably stupid for doing this I just had some ideas and compleatly feel misunderstood and I hate that more than anything. I am just going to stop talking and look this turned out to compleatly long as well. I'll just stop thank you again for your time.
 
I think I understand what you are getting at. We've always taught our children that the body is a beautiful thing but when you get to a certain age the body starts to change and when that happens certain behaviors have to change too. We have to respect others privacy. With the girls being older they are to always where pj's or have a robe on.

We also have talked to the kids about good touch, bad touch, how NOONE ever has a right to touch you in private areas or touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. We've had to explain that there are some sick people in the world and we have to be careful. It's sad that we have to have such a conversation with our children but it's necessary
 
This is a good subject and has come up in the past. I don't know if I told this story before but when I was 12 and had to collect for my paper route, I had this one family who would always make me feel embarrassed.
I'd come to the door and announce that I was collecting for the paper and I would invarably get the, "Come in." I always knew what that meant...everyone would be in their underwear...I mean, EVERYONE. They were a big, friendly family but just had a little boundary issue thing. And, of course, when I came in, everyone, and I mean, EVERYONE, had to come to the door to see who it was. God, I must have been a deep, fire enging red, as the members of the family came running in various states of dress, eh, UNdress.
Growing up in Minnesota, on a lake, I got used to seeing all sorts of people in swimsuits, and being in one myself, all of that felt pretty normal. But coming into the Gaspaccio's private family area and being subjected to their parade of the semi-nudes was just about too much for a 12 year old to handle. Oh, sure, some of it was titillating, but most of it just embarrassed me. There I was, fully clothed, and I felt naked.
Moral of this story...boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
 
Its no wonder to me that your previous thread led to some angry responses.

You did refer to sex and, specifically, told a story of a 15 year old friend being abused by an adult. It is power, not acquiescence, that indicates the perpetration of abuse or lack thereof.

As for the rest of it, our perception of (shame about) our bodies and our understanding (ignorance and misunderstanding) of sex is indoctrinated into us by people caught up in a culture of ignorance, misunderstanding, and shame.

It seems plain to me that religion is chiefly at fault as it not only broadly indocrinates those messages but also validates those who pass them on.

When, finally, those chains of shame and guilt are dismantled, children and adults will be liberated.

Children will receive much greater (more than adequate) protection from would-be perpetrators, and adults will be held openly accountable for their abusive actions because they will no longer be obscured by the fog of shame and denial.
 
Malidin,

your previous post was bound to draw some anger in this place. Our boundaries where taken away as kids, our inner self was replace by, just take what you want, or should I say, "just do it".

A phrase from "NIKE" I coined the phrase long before they ever did. I said this to so many people in my life, that I can't remember how long ago.

"Just do it", to means just that, attitude, do what you want, and see what you get!

NIKE, use it as a phrase of kidology to say, hey I've got attitude, these trainers have the attitude youre lookin' for. You're cool wearing these.

Better phrases are, don't do it! don't think of doing it!

How about some of you guys coming up with some really good phrases, to maybe make an awareness poster?

Just a thought,

ste
 
My story that I told was to show that there are some people out there that have had experiences but did not get hurt that is all. It was not to imply that those types of behaviors should be accepted. I do not believe those behaviors are healthy in any way. In my post I made it clear in the begging, in the middle and in the end what I was asking and what I believed. All I want to know is, DOES ANY ONE ELSE THINK THAT BECAUSE OF THE STIGMA THAT IS PLACED BY SOCIETY DOES THAT MAKE CHILDREN HOLD BACK IN SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT. That is my question. Is it possable to have this question answered here or not. Is it possable that others might be able to take the time to answer this question and leave the idea of sex out of the equasion seems how that has nothing to do with the question. Forget about my other post it is obviously to detailed just stick with the basic question. Thank you all again for taking the time to read this and thank you for your replies so far but please don't stop. I am really curious to see if anyone else believes as I do.
 
I apologize for coming in so late in this conversation.

But maybe that is good as I have no idea what provoked the untoward reactions you are referring to.

Malidin, if you are willing, would you please post the question you are trying to ask, one more time, very simply and without linking it to past misunderstandings?

I am more than willing to give you my response, I think, but first I would like to know ,

What is the question for which you are seeking answers?

Questioningly?
 
I do believe that society interferes with any and all kinds of healthy sexual development. Social stigmas create and promote many bad things involviong sexuality, including as examples, but far from limited to: eating disorders, sexual orientation prejudice, identity problems, and many other things. Yes, I think that being open, honest, and educating is the answer. No, I do not think that we should cross any of the lines which are clearly drawn in the form of laws which are agreed upon by society as acceptable behavior concerning children. It is possible to teach children what they need to know just by actually taking the time to talk with them, explaining things, giving them reasons why, and answering their questions.
 
Maladin, your question:

DOES ANY ONE ELSE THINK THAT BECAUSE OF THE STIGMA THAT IS PLACED BY SOCIETY DOES THAT MAKE CHILDREN HOLD BACK IN SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT.
Click to expand...
I'll make answer/opinion short: The stigma you refer to is a boundary in my opinion. Does it hold back the sexual development of children? If you mean does it hinder the sexualization of children, then yes, it does, and it should. Does it hold back the healthy sexual development of children? No.

My questions is: Why would you ask a question like this, especially in a forum like this?

.... Andrew
 
I think our society does have an imbalanced view of sexuality. Just looking at the adult level it is clear that sexuality is not handled in a healthy manner. As for children, I would rather they not be exposed to it. I know I(and probably most here) would give a great treasure to not have been exposed.

I think a good parent can raise a healthy child. Sexual problems are not all that much about sex, but about all the other things. So if you raise a child right in all other respects, teaching respect for others and a knowledge of right and wrong and the kid can't help but mostly do right. And sexuality will hardly be any different. Raise a kid right and he will do right.

I think you are right in being concerned about how we raise our kids. But just off axis with regards as to what needs fixing. We should be fixing how we as adults deal with sexuality. Children need not be involved in that work.
 
This is slightly off key, but may be related. My dad would run around the house in the nude. My mome and the four kids wore clothing. Sometimes when my dad got up to use the rest room he would have a erection, just like all men. At my yong age this would always embarese me. Today I sometimes run around in the nude, but there is only me and my wife. I hope this helps.
 
Yes Yes Yes THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

I can not tell you all how thankful I am that you took the time to answer this question. I finally feel like it has been answered. and I thankyou all for that.
 
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