I am so glad to be among others who understand.

[JamesAdam]

I am so glad to be among others who understand.

Presently, I am so relieved to have found others who understand what its like to be other than the majority when it comes to interacting with other people.

Some people dont understand why I can interact in business, quite well actually. However when I go out socially its always by my self. Ill go in, place my order and leave promptly after eating; and without talking to anyone. I dont know why? Its always been like that. When required, I am able to talk to anyone.

I have Facial Recognition Blindness. I would never remember you tomorrow. Unless I keep mental images surrounding you and the situation Im interacting with you in. If I see you in a grocery store or some other place that Im not familiar seeing you in, chances are I wouldnt recognize you. If you approach me and say, hi, Im so and so from the dentist office I would remember the environment you are normally in and recall our relationship.

Please, with that having been said
Im glad to be among others in an environment that allows people to understand what it's like to have been abused as a kid, and for me to be a good example of living in the present but still respecting the past.

Here's to my journey,
JamesAdam

 

[Nothing Man]

JA, welcome to MS. I hope you will find the support and encouragement you need from all the men here who truly understand what you are going through.

Incidentally, your post really resonated with me because I too can handle myself in a business situation but socially I am a bit awkward. As an introvert I tend to get more recharge from my alone time. Perhaps you identify with that also.

In any case, a very warm welcome to you. Post often, visit the chatroom, use all the resources here. I'm sorry for the reason you are here but am glad you found us.

 

[C. E.]

Welcome to what I hope you will find - as I have - to be a bit of a brotherhood. This place is a big tent - everyone who comes here does so with their own experiences, dysfunctions and baggage. Each person, I have found, is like a fingerprint. Those areas in which we overlap - in which we discover we were not the only ones after all - are where the healing happens.

 

[Sterling]

Welcome JamesAdam !
I am very friendly and polite.
But I am not sure why but when I am in public ; I am like
tunnel vision.
I feel aweful later when a friend or an acquaintance says to
me " I saw you on the bus , how come you didn't say hi" ?
I feel bad about it and explain.
I am very shy, nervous.
Thanks for allowing me to share on your post!
See ya soon.

James

 

[WG]

Hello JamesAdam , and welcome. I'm pleased to say that this truly is a brotherhood here. We all have something in common here that makes us unique - sad that it's the horrific abuse that brought us here - but we know that we can come here and be angry, sad, glad, hurt, carefree (whatever that is) or whatever we feel like at the moment. You'll find some caring, understanding men here. I have. Welcome.

 

[Grunty1967b]

JA,

Welcome too. Wow, Facial Recognition Blindness? I've never encountered anyone with that before but I'd imagine that's not going to present a problem for you here at the MS site. Isn't that great?

I'm also of the introverted style and can relate to the business life looking great but the personal dynamics & relating socially being not so great. Throw in a dose of child abuse and you start ticking too many boxes on lists that aren't good.

I hope you get way more out of this community than you ever imagined.

Kind regards.

 

[Bluedogone]

Hi JamesAdams, Welcome

I really like your phrase
"Living in the present, but respecting the past."

There's no way we can ignore the past = but also, there's no reason the past should control all of our present.

I hope you find, as I have so often found, MS is a good resource to help live in the present with a bunch of guys who daily survive their own abusive past.

CJ

 

[KMCINVA]

JamesAdam

Welcome and I am sorry you have to be here--but be it-you are amongst kind and caring people. They have lived and understand the abuse and impact it has on life.

I admire you can respect the past--because we are all a product of our past, whatever that may be. To see the past for the truth and not an illusion is so important. I had a pretend image of the past, trying to bury the abuse within a part of me, not healthy over time. Being truthful and honest with yourself is so important--unfortunately as children we do not understand this and build a wall around the abuse. The wall I have learned is not impermeable as I thought. The past creeps in and out and then the consequences of the abuse are lived. Sometimes it retreats behind the wall. We cannot escape our past no matter how we try. We need to face it--it only has taken me some 45 years or so--a slow learner I guess.

Welcome and I hope your journey to heal continues.

Kevin

 

[JamesAdam]

Thank you for the nice replies. My first introductory post was removed, (not G rated)
I hesitate to talk about the abuse again...

 

[Grunty1967b]

JA,

About your Intro post being removed, have a closer look at the guidelines for each section. You may have simply omitted things like a Trigger Warning. You may even wish to contact a Moderator for further help in being able to post within guidelines.

You deserve to be able to tell your story (if you wish to). Many here do and with details that are not G rated.

Hope you stick around. Don't give up.

 

[WG]

JamesAdam - Of course you hesitate to talk about the abuse - we all have at one time or another. Do so when you feel like you're able and safe to say it. Speaking it out loud can be at once frightening, unsettling (at best) but also quite cathartic - and, in time you'll find that it is necessary for your growth as a man and for your own general mental health. It is best to speak of it with someone in the therapeutic field and not someone who either is not schooled/trained or simply cannot handle what you are telling them. You'll both walk away frustrated and you'll feel incomplete. But never give up. Thanks for being here. WG in Seattle

 

[JamesAdam]

@WG
I now understand about using the word "Trigger", sorry for not using that, but Chase Eric (Eiric) explained to me, in several pm's by the way, that is was not only that, but for my safety as well. I understand now.

I think it is more important, to me anyway, to live in the present, but still respecting the past.

I am really very grateful to the people that run this site for allowing all of us to be here together. This is what's important to me now.