I am new to this....

I am new to this....
T

ToddBen

New Registrant
Im Ben and I am 28 and need some help. I was raped from ages 10--14years of age. I just broke down and told my wife and I am so lost!
 
Welcome, Ben. You are not alone. You can get the help of comradeship here, and advice from other men like you who are further along in their journeys toward healing. You are in the right place.

Richard
 
Welcome Ben - "Need some help" :confused: - you've come to the right place! :) Everyone here felt lost and came here seeking help...including me! Everyone here needs help, seeks support and shares what we all found that heals our pain! You've taken a pretty brave step - telling! Our perps hoped we'd never tell! But unless we open up taking the first step, we suffer within! Thanks for taking that first step. Taking those steps - that's what makes us survivors!! :cool:

Let me encourage you to look at the posts; ask questions! - comment and share thoughts and feelings. As you join in, you'll see what I mean about the guys here - they've shared a lot that's helped me!! :D

Howard

BTW - I was raped at 8yo along the railroad tracks!! There's hope! help! healing! I know!
 
Ben, it is awful that you or any of us had those kinds of experiences. I was raped and tortured from 12 to 15. It causes all kinds of strange worries and quesions. Here we stop the lies and call exactly that. We have told ourselves and had others tell us lies. They no longer get by with that.

I suggest that you go to the site map and look at all that is available at this site. You can get lots of understanding here.

See you,

Bob
 
Welcome TB (Hope you don't mind me being lazy.) :D ,

Huge leap that you just took. You'll find in time that you landed in the right place. People care here and most importantly, most of the people here have been through many of the things that you faced and will face. Peel back the layers gently and we'll be here to help you through it.

Take your time, try not to rush. You don't have to be silent any longer. :)
 
Ben:

Welcome to the brotherhood of Male Survivor, fellow North Carolinian.

I told my wife about 2 years ago when I started remembering, after 35 years, that I was incested & raped from ages about 1-11. She was very supportive & I trust your wife will be too, tho I'm sure it's hard for her to deal with as it is for mine.

Fellow survivor if you are lost this is a good place to be found.

Take care Ben.

Victor
 
Ben,
I'm sorry for what happened to you. It wasn't right for this stuff to happen to you or any of us.I was abused by a few different people off and on until I was twelve.

Sharing your thoughts and feelings here really does help.

Take care of yourself,
Ken
 
Welcome Ben, you indeed are not alone. I told my wife of 34 years just 2 weeks ago that part of my abuse included being raped. It was the hardest thing possible to say. We have been seperated for almost 3 years now while I work my way through all of this. She, in her own way has been very supportive. The biggest thing is you need to be supportive of yourself, keep your self esteem high, you did not ask for this. The people here have walked in the same shoes and are here to support. Stay strong and don't be afraid to ask for help.
Bob
 
three, going on four years ago when i began recovery, i was a mess. the guys here really helped, and now i try to help where i can. read around the site, and you'll find a lot of helpful info. welcome

jeff
 
Ben,

There are a lot of guys here who've felt and sometimes still feel the same things. Come often, read about the things that have helped others. You'll get to know us, and you'll learn that your reactions are normal, considering what happened to you.

I was raped when I was 16. I'm glad I found this site. I read posts here almost everyday. I hope it helps you, too.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Hey Ben,

I was abused by my step father from the age of 12 to when I was almost 18. I've been married 17 years and finily told my wife last year, and it's been a roller coster ride ever sence. This board alone with the support of my wife has been my life line. Please come here read everything you think may help you. Post when your feeling down, you will find the men on this board are wise beyond there years. Im sorry you need to find us Ben, but now that you have welcome. Pull up a chair and have a cup of coffee, your among friends now.
James
 
Hi Ben, Welcome. I was in your shoes. Abused from 10-15, Told my wife after 14 years of marriage. She was very comforting, understanding, and supporitive. She told me she had pondered
and questioned in her own mind as to whether or not I had been abused before I ever told her.
Sometimes our behavior gives off subtle clues.
Ben, you say you are lost. How can we give you directions? How can we help you? Please tell us more detail as to why you are lost. Is it with your wife or do you feel unsure of the next step
to take?
 
Hey, Ben, it's David and I just wanted to say, "Hi."
I hope that you'll soon feel at home here. I'm fairly new myself and these guys are like none you've ever met before. They're the big brothers that we all wanted, growing up. You know, the kind that would take your back and watch out for you.
Don't be afraid to talk here. This is the place for that. This is the ultimate "fort." This is the place that you can come and find the support that you need.
Just yesterday, I did some revealing of my own and I met one of the guys in the chat room after. I told him that I was feeling shakey after telling some of my story. YOu should have been there, Ben. This guy, I know that you'll meet him, Mike Church, was just the big brother tha I needed at that moment. He's really four months younger than I am, but he was the big brother, yesterday.
Welcome, younger brother, Ben. I hope that you'll give yourself the chance to see these-us-guys gather around and give you the support that you need.
David
 
Ben

"WE ARE NOT ALONE !!"

Dave :)
 
when i told my wife last june, i was mortified. It just came out; we had got into an arguement about our son and i just blurted out this awful parasite that had been living inside me. My father molested and beat me until i was fourteen!
I was so shaken and scared; how could she ever she me as a man. But she was supportive and loving; Ive been doing therapy now for 10-11 months now. It has really helped me to be in a male survivor group and have the opportunity to weekly have a discussion about my issues and concerns. It is rough alot of the time but working to get better makes it more tolerable.
I hope your wife is supportive, it really makes a difference. And remember that it wasnt your fault!
 
Hi Ben, I'm Pete. Glad to meet you!
I told my wife about being SA by my stepdad after keeping it a secret for 26 years of marraige. Just a month ago I told her about also being SA by a boss I had in High school. I've be in therapy for two years and finally feel some relief from what happen so many years ago.
My advice friend is to get a good T, read good books such as Mike Lew's "Victum No Longer", have your wife read these books as well, and come here often to realize your not alone. The guys here are very supportive and we are all here to give and receive advice to help us cope through our healing. My wife also reads the post here and it has helped her so much to understand why I am the way I am. Welcome brother, I'm sorry for what you've been through but glad you are reaching out for help. :)
 
Hi Ben, I am Jean-Pierre and I am 61 years old. I told my wife 5 years ago I was abuse as a young kid. I was also very lost and scared.

If it can help you I am better now because i just finish a year of therapy. My luck was that this psychologist new realy how to help me.

It took me 2 months to be real secure whit him to the point that I completly trust him whit my life.

Today I can deal whit my emotions and it feel great.

Take care

Jean-Pierre
 
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