I am new here

I am new here
M

markw

Registrant
I have been sitting here staring at this screen, scared to write. I was attacked twice. Once when I was in fourth grade, and the other in high school. It really has taken it's toll. I have not really been able to get over it. I want to see a counselor but don't know how to look for one or even how to start. I don't even know if I could really go to one and talk about it. I have not told anyone but my wife, and I did not tell her the details. No one knows. How can I do this? Can you really get over it?

MarkW
 
Mark I can't yet write to much here and was told to take my time. So I think it is ok.

My partner is also suggesting a counselor but I have the same problem. Who to find and what to say?

So you are not the only one with these problems. Don't know if that helps, but I hope so.

Branson
 
Mark,

Sadly no one ever gets over sexual abuse we just learn to live with it. I have found this site to be a wonderful place to learn that you are not alone. Going in and seeing a T is only a move that you should make when you feel you are ready. They will always be their when you are ready the T's of course. Take your time and dont fear posting here my friend.


lots of love, Nathan
 
Hello, Mark. I'm glad you found this site, because I think you'll find that it will help you in so many, many ways. This is hard stuff for us all to deal with, many of us have pushed it down inside for decades, refusing to look at it. But we all know that that only delays the inevitable, and causes so many other issues in our lives that we either recognize as effects or are oblivious to the face that it is a by-product of the abuse. You've made a brave step posting here with this first post, and I applaud you for taking that courageous step. As far as choosing a therapist/counselor, I called my state's psychology association and asked for recommendations on therapists who dealt specifically with sexual abuse. After that, I Googled them to see what information I could find out about them and went from there. The one I selected turned out to be excellent. Good luck in your search, and always remember you have friends here who will listen and not judge.
 
Welcome Mark,
My partner did not know until almost two years ago and we have been married tens years. Only difference of her not knowing is because I have repressed it for many years.
Take your time, you will know when you are ready. Although I am invloved with another organization that helps sexual abuse survivors, this site is wonderful and the guys are very honest about everything said when responding wether you want to hear it or not. That is what I love about this site. The honesty and opinions of some are sometimes what don't want to read but, you learn to cope and that is part of healing. Good luck Mark we are here for you.
 
Mark,
What you will find here is instant understanding. You don't have to explain why you're feeling what you're feeling. We know that already and we feel it with you. You are free just to let it all out here without fear of being judged or someone saying, "I don't understand why you just can't get over it." We all know why you can't get over it.
I didn't know until my first time in the chat room here how angry I was or how hurt I was, but the guys there just said, "Tell us." and I did.
This is a place where you can come when the loneliness is too much to bear. Someone is always here and someone always cares what you are feeling and what you are going through.
You can write anything here...anything. No matter how strange or frightening the feeling seems to you, one or more of us has felt it and tried to deal with it. That in itself is an amazing comfort. I am not different. I am not weird. I have been hurt. I can accept that. I can accept me just as I am. I can heal.
Let us help as we have been helped. Helping each other is one of the most important parts of our individual healing. You really aren't alone,
Mark. We're here and we care. Bobby
 
Mark, you write what you want when you feel the need, or not, it is your choice.

We all know just how hard it can be, it is not easy to tell anyone, and it is harder still to keep the secret untold.

Welcome, I am glad you came, but sorry you needed this place,

take care,

ste
 
I am new here. I am tired of sharing my deepest secrets with therapists. I grew up in a society where there were no consequences for anyone's behavior. I am a Jewish survivor from an ulta-orthodox background. I am tired of people telling me it happened so long ago, that I should just grow up and forget about it.

K
 
K I too was told to get over it and move on. Well if I could have I would have. Wouldn't you? Trouble is it does not work that way. Stick with us and we will all get to living life the way we were supposed to. Just remember you are not alone any more ever.
 
Hi K,

I too come from a very religious past where I was told to get over what had happened to me.

Since the abuse had occurred in the faith community itself, it was suggested that telling about being sexually exploited by a leading teacher of the faith would be harmful to efforts to recruit new members.

It was impressed on me that my efforts to care for myself and heal from the sexual abuse were "selfish" and that I was "obsessed" with the past.

Last year I was finally able to detach myself from that faith community and the results have been incredibly good for me.

I'm glad you are here. I know how it feels to be made to choose between your faith and your recovery.

That turned out to be another lie spun by the abuse dynamic. I still have my faith and my recovery is progressing.

Welcome to MaleSurvivor. You will find a lot of hope here from men who understand because they have been there too.

Thanks,
 
Danny,

I lost my soul when I was 14. I've been told that I have a soul, and that might be true, but it isn't a Jewish soul. I was abused by rabbis. The rabbi in charge of our emotional well-being called me a liar and asked how I could say such terrible things when I told him about all the sexual abuse. My parents told me there was nothing that could be done because they could never put me in a public school.

I endured in absolute silence, but I lost my God. The only thing that kept me sane and prevented me from killing myself was Jesus Christ and that is very unusual coming from someone who grew up in an ultrorthodox family who happened to be Chabad otherwise known as Lubavitch.

Anyone not familiar with those two terms may want to do a Google search.

Kakdla
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top