Hurts to much
Hurts to much, can not even talk of it. I try and it not happen, I can no ttalk. Feel bad, feel strange. Feel like doing things I never think of before, things to hurt at myself. Take shower, shave, thinking of cutting at myself with razor. Don't know I even want to do that, there is like thing in my head to tell me to do that. Do not know what I feel at all. I know it is not good feelings, but I do not know wha they are. I finally write something for therapist, to tell of some of what happen, because I can not tell her. Wanting to write letter to my parents, because after I tell them, my father does not want talk with me at all, I am not welcome to go home if I am to talk of it. Feel it is taking my family from me. Do not know why I try saying it here, just to try to not do what my head tells me. I do not understand myself or anything at all right now. I do not belong here, I am sorry to cause problem.
Andrei
Andrei