Hurts to much

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Hurts to much
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Hurts to much, can not even talk of it. I try and it not happen, I can no ttalk. Feel bad, feel strange. Feel like doing things I never think of before, things to hurt at myself. Take shower, shave, thinking of cutting at myself with razor. Don't know I even want to do that, there is like thing in my head to tell me to do that. Do not know what I feel at all. I know it is not good feelings, but I do not know wha they are. I finally write something for therapist, to tell of some of what happen, because I can not tell her. Wanting to write letter to my parents, because after I tell them, my father does not want talk with me at all, I am not welcome to go home if I am to talk of it. Feel it is taking my family from me. Do not know why I try saying it here, just to try to not do what my head tells me. I do not understand myself or anything at all right now. I do not belong here, I am sorry to cause problem.

Andrei
 
Andrei:
Number 1... do not hurt yourself. It will not solve the problems. Only makes them harder to deal with later.

Number 2.... Trust your therapist. Give him/her the situation as soon as possible. S/he can help you. You need to trust.

Number 3..... Hang in there. It WILL get better.

Ken
 
Andrei,

It sounds very difficult for you right now, and your family is not helping. I have had the same things happen about no family support. They want me to pretend all is just fine. Well, it's not, and I won't say that it is.

You said you are sorry to cause a problem, and that you're confused. Well, this is a good place for you, this is a place where many of us feel just like that many times. We also write just how it comes out, no matter how it sounds, and that's allowed here. It's good to say it how you feel it. If someone else had not hurt you so much, you would not be so confused.

I'm sorry you are in such pain, but you are most welcome here in my opinion. Write some more to your therapist when you can, and take a little rest or eat something you like for a break too. I hope you don't hurt yourself--you have been hurt too much already by others.

Welcome,

Ed
 
Andrei,

Hang in there. Hurting yourself won't make it hurt less. It will get better.

You have started in the right direction. Everything you told me of your therapist, says that she is a good person and will be helpful in finding your way through this. Give her a chance to help you.

Take care,
Bill
 
Andrei,

I know things are very hard for you. And you have told me about your family's reaction to all of this. That is very sad.

But you are welcome here and we care about you.

The therapy is hard for you, I know. But give it some more time.

As the others have said, hurting yourself will not help, though I understand the feeling.

Remember WE care about you!

Peace,

Marc
 
Andrei,

First of all, I'm glad you came back here. I know it's hard, but I'm so glad you've decided the brothers here. Most of us really do care about you.

I read your story, hard as it was, and it reminded me so much of my own sonofabitch that I couldn't take it. But I'm glad you vented.

But, Andrei, I know from personal experience that hurting yourself is NO answer. It isn't, Andrei, so PLEASE don't hurt yourself. I value you too much for you to see you do this. It won't make it better, it'll only make it worse.

It WILL get better, even though you don't think it's possible. There will be more good days than bad, Andrei, and you are such a strong young man already. It's guys like you and Leosha that give me hope and strength. Andrei, you're such a special person, worth so much more than that piece of garbage who hurt you. I swear, if I knew where he was, I'd make damn sure he paid for all he's done to you, Leosha, and probably, sadly, many more others. You didn't deserve that and I'm so sorry he hurt you.

I also asked Leo to pass on something and I'd like to remind you, if you need ANYTHING, even if it's someone to just be there, just tell me. Leo has my information and if you want me to pass it on, PM me.

Andrei, you are such a special man and I'm proud to know you.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Andrei,

Again you show your remarkable courage. You are posting here, telling even more people about the truth.

The pain is real because the crimes they committed against you were real. You survived that, and you will get through this pain.

We are all here if you need us. Go easy on yourself. You deserve every good thing you would wish for any of us.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Andrei
you are NEVER a problem here, you are one of our 'family' and we care.

I can't begin to imagine how hard it is for you in a strange country and feeling that your real family is lost to you, but I do know that you have some wonderful friends and support, use them.

You might think that it's unfair to heap all your troubles onto others that also have problems, but somehow we find time for others. Especially those we relate to so closely. We can help.

Be strong Andrei

Dave
 
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