hurting
I am at work feeling so emotional I am crying I am suposed to be this rock I can't do it any more dam it.I made a police report a week ago and I guess it has hit me harder then I thought.I feel I still have to cover up and act as though nothing is wrong but the hurt is still there and the sucky thing about it is that my perp that I filed the report on and the 15 year old kid who beat the living shit out of me when I was 9-10 among other things are related hows that for a twist. I realy don't have anyone who I can turn to I thought I was over this. I want to be able to take back what was taken from me.I hate the s.o.b. for fucking up my life my thoughts my childhood. I know I was not his first and when I think back him throwing me on his bed and having his way with just makes me sick and him telling me how beatiful I was as I am naked on the bed and aroused. Why why why did this happen and why should I feel so dam emotional about it? I want this to end I want to put this all behind me. I want this basterd to pay for what he has done to me and others like me. I trusted him I was used as his sex toy when ever he wanted it. The pain I feel is so strong it rips my heart out. If there ever was any dout this was happening to oneof my own I would kill him and go to jail but at the very least he would never do it to someone else. Sorry for the long post needed to vent Bill