How to open a can of worms
Thanks, SAR. We do take parenthood seriously but we're both terrified of it in a certain sense. We want it and we're prepared for it in every way but we're like people who know that they really, really want to skydive but then stand at the edge of the plane door waiting for a kick in the arse to jump. LOL
My best friend and her husband decided to go off BC and get pregnant "whenever." Not as much a conscious decision to TTC as it was just deciding not to prevent whatever would happen. Boom! They were pregnant the first try. They were rattled at first but then it was OK and they were glad it happened the way it did. My fiance and I have said that we're the same way. We want a family but it's a big scary thing. (For me, even more so because I have white coat syndrome, pass out when I'm poked by a needle, and am generally allergic to pain.)
Ideally, I'll have him to myself for a few years first, but we'll really be pushing our biological clocks if we don't start TTC relatively soon. If I get PG faster, it's not that it's the end of the world. It's just that it would change a lot of things. And as old as we are, the idea of creating a whole new little him&me combination is awe inspiring and kind of scary. I have medical conditions that might make it difficult for me to conceive even when we try so getting PG might almost be a minor miracle. We're prepared for the possibility of medical intervention to help, so a natural pregnancy would be pretty great.
His point was that he's not so opposed to the increased risk of my getting PG that he would want me to switch from something that works well for me. And if we have an unplanned pregnancy as a result of the increased risk, we're OK with that. We know we're rolling the dice a little bit and we're satisfied with our chances. We were saying that for us to conceive while being on BC...well, that child is going to be something pretty special that God worked so hard to make it happen. My fiance believes a child like that is destined for greatness -- the person who cures cancer or something like that. And we really do look forward to having a family together...someday.
The overall relevance is that before we had that conversation, I wasn't 100% sure he would be able to handle having kids or would want to consider it. But the more we talked and the more excited he got at the prospect, it made me realize that whatever problems he has with his past do not appear to be dissuading him from wanting to become a father. I'm pretty happy about that. As I said before, I'd be willing to pass that by if he couldn't handle it. But it appears that he can and looks forward to it, and that's really wonderful.
My best friend and her husband decided to go off BC and get pregnant "whenever." Not as much a conscious decision to TTC as it was just deciding not to prevent whatever would happen. Boom! They were pregnant the first try. They were rattled at first but then it was OK and they were glad it happened the way it did. My fiance and I have said that we're the same way. We want a family but it's a big scary thing. (For me, even more so because I have white coat syndrome, pass out when I'm poked by a needle, and am generally allergic to pain.)
Ideally, I'll have him to myself for a few years first, but we'll really be pushing our biological clocks if we don't start TTC relatively soon. If I get PG faster, it's not that it's the end of the world. It's just that it would change a lot of things. And as old as we are, the idea of creating a whole new little him&me combination is awe inspiring and kind of scary. I have medical conditions that might make it difficult for me to conceive even when we try so getting PG might almost be a minor miracle. We're prepared for the possibility of medical intervention to help, so a natural pregnancy would be pretty great.
His point was that he's not so opposed to the increased risk of my getting PG that he would want me to switch from something that works well for me. And if we have an unplanned pregnancy as a result of the increased risk, we're OK with that. We know we're rolling the dice a little bit and we're satisfied with our chances. We were saying that for us to conceive while being on BC...well, that child is going to be something pretty special that God worked so hard to make it happen. My fiance believes a child like that is destined for greatness -- the person who cures cancer or something like that. And we really do look forward to having a family together...someday.
The overall relevance is that before we had that conversation, I wasn't 100% sure he would be able to handle having kids or would want to consider it. But the more we talked and the more excited he got at the prospect, it made me realize that whatever problems he has with his past do not appear to be dissuading him from wanting to become a father. I'm pretty happy about that. As I said before, I'd be willing to pass that by if he couldn't handle it. But it appears that he can and looks forward to it, and that's really wonderful.