"how not to be offended" link
Hi Guys,
I saw this article and thought it had a lot to say to us.
https://theunboundedspirit.com/how-not-to-be-offended/
It's ultimate point is that "The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment, regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of the best kept secrets for living a happy life."
But I think for us an equally deep reality is "When we know that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we don’t have to take life personally. If it weren’t us, it would likely be someone else."
For a long time I took the abuse personally, wondering why me? etc. I no longer think that way. I just somehow got in the way of my dad and his urges. Most anybody else would have served as well.
He didn't betray my trust. I wasn't even there. He was no longer my father when he molested me. He was someone else, another facet of his complex self came out. The father in him regretted the acts. Eventually the father won out and the crimes stopped.
But when I was the victim, I was no longer a person with an identity to him. I had faded out of that specificity and had become an object. Any other that had the relevant parts would have done just as well. Must have been some sort of compulsion.
But it wasn't personal.
It's an extremely freeing way of seeing the story.
Best wishes,
Danny
I saw this article and thought it had a lot to say to us.
https://theunboundedspirit.com/how-not-to-be-offended/
It's ultimate point is that "The great challenge of our world is to live a life of contentment, regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The fine art of not being offended is one of the many skills for being a practical mystic. Though it may take a lifetime of practice, it is truly one of the best kept secrets for living a happy life."
But I think for us an equally deep reality is "When we know that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we don’t have to take life personally. If it weren’t us, it would likely be someone else."
For a long time I took the abuse personally, wondering why me? etc. I no longer think that way. I just somehow got in the way of my dad and his urges. Most anybody else would have served as well.
He didn't betray my trust. I wasn't even there. He was no longer my father when he molested me. He was someone else, another facet of his complex self came out. The father in him regretted the acts. Eventually the father won out and the crimes stopped.
But when I was the victim, I was no longer a person with an identity to him. I had faded out of that specificity and had become an object. Any other that had the relevant parts would have done just as well. Must have been some sort of compulsion.
But it wasn't personal.
It's an extremely freeing way of seeing the story.
Best wishes,
Danny
