HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE

HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE
O

OKIE MIKE

Registrant
I have men in a fight for the last several years with the Vetrrans Admistration . Because I was raped by another male soldger in 1977 and it has ben a major influnce in my life . They finaly acceped the evedence that I sumited to the case that I was actuly raped . But now they are trying to say that the problems that I am haveing in my life are not related to being raped .What the hell do they want . any one with half a brain would realise that being raped will afect your life forever . I have ben married three times and I have had a history of drug abuse . I have ben going through hell for over 25 years and the night mare seems that it will neaver end . I have ben atending NA meatings for the drug problem . And seeing a T for the SA for the last 5 years I just wonder if it will ever end . I am tired of living in this hell
HELP!!!!!!!
 
Michael,

Unfortunately, I think the VA is primarily interested in financial liability and not your personal welfare. Dealing with them is always going to be very distressing and disempowering.

On the other issues, yes indeed, it does seem to go on and on and on. I can just mention a few things that have helped me.

I try to build up a circle of safe people around me. Safe relatives who know what happened and care about me and believe in me, and friends who feel the same way. I also find that I need people who don't know, and with whom I share some special interest - in my case music. I have worked on that and it has helped me enormously in my efforts to think of myself as a regular guy who was abused as a kid, as opposed to a perpetual CSA victim. Another part of this is that I simply exclude toxic people from my life any way I can. I just don't need that crap. It really is important - or so I have found - to stop letting my abuse history define me.

You also might want to consider working with a different T. There are different methods and ideas, and you may be with someone who just doesn't suit you.

Finally, try communicating more here, as and when you can. I find that this place is great for focusing my thinking, and it sure helps not to feel I am "alone in a crowd" anymore.

Much love,
Larry
 
Okie Mike, I'm so sorry for what happened to you.
And the VA, as usual, is being very understanding and helpful....not. It is still the dark ages for SA, Mike. Most people just don't understand what it does to a guy. Talk to us. You're angry and have every right to be. You can yell here...electronically, yes, but it's a yell of some kind. And we'll listen and even yell with you. I'm mad and frustrated just from the things you've said. We want you to talk about it. We know it helps. We know because we've talked (I personally have yelled a lot.) and someone has listened. We know it's hell, Mike. We'd like to make it a little better if we can.

Bobby
 
Mike, the VA will never be confused with a social services agency. Have you thought of handling your complaint by way of a civil suit. Peace, Andrew
 
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