how I often feel
I know it is irrational. Do any of the rest of you feel this way too? [img:left]https://i376.photobucket.com/albums/oo208/mmiller459/guilty_zps845f73a7.gif[/img]
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how I often feel
- Thread starterNothing Man
- Start date
EXACTLY like that sometimes.
Oh hell yes!
Followed my fervent prayer to ask for forgiveness.
I remember at 11-yo feeling as if literally everything I did was horribly wrong. I may have been correct. My parents pretty much had the same opinion at that time as well.
But then I saw my son going through the same thing in brief periods at about 12-13yo. Some months, it seemed he could not step outside the house without causing some little disaster. I took it all in stride as "that just must be normal boy stuff." His mother did not however. I tried to put these things in perspective for him, because I knew what his inner-voice was saying to him.
He just had a long weekend like this. He went out Snowmobiling with some friends. Within the first minute of riding a borrowed sled, the Game Wardens had stopped him and cited him for riding a non-registered motor vehicle. They even recognized him as "that boy who had the bad dirt bike accident and broke him knee last year...yeah...I remember extracting you from the woods that day...how you doing...looks like your leg healed...here's a $124 ticket."
The next day, he went ice-riding with friends on their dirt bikes (studded tires). One minute into it, some crazy lady was attacking them with a broom handle and mace. The police come, yada yada yada...he's says "I need to just stay home and watch TV this winter."
Told him I've had those weeks, months, years, too...that its a sign of "real living."
Followed my fervent prayer to ask for forgiveness.
I remember at 11-yo feeling as if literally everything I did was horribly wrong. I may have been correct. My parents pretty much had the same opinion at that time as well.
But then I saw my son going through the same thing in brief periods at about 12-13yo. Some months, it seemed he could not step outside the house without causing some little disaster. I took it all in stride as "that just must be normal boy stuff." His mother did not however. I tried to put these things in perspective for him, because I knew what his inner-voice was saying to him.
He just had a long weekend like this. He went out Snowmobiling with some friends. Within the first minute of riding a borrowed sled, the Game Wardens had stopped him and cited him for riding a non-registered motor vehicle. They even recognized him as "that boy who had the bad dirt bike accident and broke him knee last year...yeah...I remember extracting you from the woods that day...how you doing...looks like your leg healed...here's a $124 ticket."
The next day, he went ice-riding with friends on their dirt bikes (studded tires). One minute into it, some crazy lady was attacking them with a broom handle and mace. The police come, yada yada yada...he's says "I need to just stay home and watch TV this winter."
Told him I've had those weeks, months, years, too...that its a sign of "real living."
I feel guilty about everything. Always. I even give apologies to inanimate objects.
This year there seemed to be a worldwide shortage of Moleskine diaries for some reason. I found it really hard to find the kind I wanted and ended up getting one of the limited edition Charlie Brown ones. It has Peppermint Patty on the front, she's trying to sleep in her desk and it says 'please don't let her call on me...' It reminded me of being in school, not trying to sleep, but panic attacking that the teacher would call on me to answer something, and everyone would have to turn and look at me, and I wouldn't know the answer anyway because I was a total failure in school. Kinda depressing that I have to look at that all year now and be reminded of it.
I've always found the Charlie Brown comics kind of sad and depressing.
This year there seemed to be a worldwide shortage of Moleskine diaries for some reason. I found it really hard to find the kind I wanted and ended up getting one of the limited edition Charlie Brown ones. It has Peppermint Patty on the front, she's trying to sleep in her desk and it says 'please don't let her call on me...' It reminded me of being in school, not trying to sleep, but panic attacking that the teacher would call on me to answer something, and everyone would have to turn and look at me, and I wouldn't know the answer anyway because I was a total failure in school. Kinda depressing that I have to look at that all year now and be reminded of it.
I've always found the Charlie Brown comics kind of sad and depressing.
Spot on.
Other than a pretty good case of lack of trust, my biggest hangup is guilt. It usually doesn't matter what, but I more than likely feel a need to apologize. Saying "I'm sorry" is a big part of my vocabulary. But I'm very mindful of that's the way it is, and working on it.
I would never try to kick a football that Lucy was holding for me. But at least I don't have a dog that can make me feel guilty.
Other than a pretty good case of lack of trust, my biggest hangup is guilt. It usually doesn't matter what, but I more than likely feel a need to apologize. Saying "I'm sorry" is a big part of my vocabulary. But I'm very mindful of that's the way it is, and working on it.
I would never try to kick a football that Lucy was holding for me. But at least I don't have a dog that can make me feel guilty.
