This may seem mere simplicity, if I must settle for that, should that have meaning, Okay. I hope first that God is good, I mean really good, not just because it must be so. Not just some simple assignment like, 1 = 1, or God = good. From a Christian perspective of the cross, death, and resurrection I can think that he is really good, no simple assignment of such predestined suffering as this.
Okay, let me assume that; a good loving God let Him fit with me. If it be today, tomorrow, or any of my days, I can have joy in the storm, if not happiness in my boat. So, always knowing that He, the Lord, is there. Many of you guys have had so many storms, too. Even though happiness may not fit or fit now, at least, I can have strength to lessen another's burden, I dare, for I feel God there. It's lessened my burdens, though I've had many sad days strung together. Thank you for those who have tried to lessen my burden and show me a measure of happiness. Joy in the purpose, for us, if God was there... if He fit.
As far as the God presented in the Old Testament, I remember a female survivor. She hated the idea of the New Testament, and that her abuser should find forgiveness. She could tolerate the Old Testament presentation, because that horrible man of her youth, God wouldn't grant him forgiveness. I hated what was done to her... I hope that I mostly listened to her.