If you are looking for a very structured format that can help you re-evaluate a situation I would recommend a 'four corners' approach. It involves separating Facts, Feelings, Judgments, and Desires (outcomes) in that order.
1) Facts- write down the facts in one sentence observations.
This can be the trickiest part, most of the time judgments get mixed in. For instance "you told me you would be here at noon. It is 12:30. (both observable facts) is different than "you are late," where an observer would have to know other information ( the time you said you would arrive) to be able to conclude (judge) 'you are late'. It's a fine point but crucial to untangling what can be confusing and 'messy' situations and memories.
2)- Feelings- Again, one sentence, as best as you can. I felt (at the time) . I feel (right now) _. Search for more feelings, if feelings are hard to find try using this simple checklist- mad, sad, glad, afraid, ashamed, alone. (most words in the English language that are used to describe feelings can be interchanged with these six words (but remember this is just a checklist to help connect you to feelings, it is not a list of the only true six feelings). Avoid adding more to the feelings statements. "I feel (angry)..." or "I am sad..." is what we are looking for, "... (because you did that)" is what we do not to do.
This step helps to acknowledge that all feelings are valid and do not need to be justified. It is okay to be angry, period. It is okay to be scared, even if you don not know why. ALL feelings are valid.
3)- Judgements- This is where you link the facts with the feelings and thoughts you have about the situation and some of it gets messy and may not seem to make sense, that is okay. For instance- "You were late, you hate me, you are just like my father." may not make sense when you write it down. You may find out later that every time your father promised to do something with you as a child he showed up late, but you noticed he was always on time for your siblings. Maybe he always showed them affection when he was there for them and just sat on the couch when it was your time. So, now when people are late it triggers that same sense of rejection, etc.
This stuff gets messy, but it can be unbelievably helpful (especially if you can share it with a therapist or others). Maybe it turns out that your day with dad was his mandatory overtime day, he was forced to stay late and he was always tired after working so many hours. Being a 'strong silent type' he never said anything and didn't realized how much it affected you, he may not have been trying to hurt you, or maybe he was a drunk that hated spending time with a kid that reminded him of what he had lost.
Whatever it is, we can't untangle it until we write it down and go back later to look it all over. Again, it can look confusing and overwhelming, and it will get messy, but the goal is to link a feeling or a thought to a fact.
4) Desires (outcomes)
This is about stating what you want to get from you, for you. Expecting the world to change (because you want it to) is something well beyond our control. Finding something you can and want to do for yourself that helps resolves (even in tiny ways) what you wrote about is healing. If you find you want to tell your dad how you feel but are afraid, than recognizing there are small steps you can take to get closer to that goal is good. Maybe you can write a letter, say what you would tell him. Maybe you can just say it out loud, or tell a friend, a brother. Maybe you can say it in the mirror, or call and have lunch with your dad (wanting to say it and chickening out half a dozen times). Maybe, eventually, you can tell him, or his grave.
I did. Each and every little step counts, no matter what, it counts, even if you take a step backwards, especially if you take a step back. "Inch by inch life's a cinch, yard by yard life's very very hard." (thanks Henry for that little reminder).