How do you deal with a bad day?

How do you deal with a bad day?
L

LupinIII

Registrant
What do you do when you have a bad day?

I am talking about the kind of day where that SA dysfunctional programming is getting the better of you. A day where you are maybe unmotivated, fatigued or just going bonkers with Anxiety.

How do you deal with work?
Spouse/Partner?
Self?

The best strategy I have found so far is letting things kind of flow along...recognize that I am having a bad day..and try to ride it out. However this does not bode well on days when I am at work and I hope to find a good technique to add to this one.
 
Lupin III - when you talk about going bonkers with anxiety at work, I don't know to what level you mean 'bonkers'.

At one point I was having major paranoia attacks (only ever get it very mildly now) - I used to hear people talking about me in group conversations & initially I wouldn't look in the direction that the conversation was coming from (this was when I lost it big style last December & just before I started dealing with the whole abuse thing for the first time).

Now if it happens it is because I am overworked / tired / hungry - if I think I hear the conversations start up, I look towards where the conversation is coming from & yes there will be people talking there, but it's not the conversation that I'm imagining & not necessarily the people that I thought were talking together.

What this also tells me is that I should 1/ Eat properly. 2/ Get enough sleep. 3/ Refuse to be overloaded with someone else's share of the workload.

Hope this helps...best wishes ..Rik
 
For me...

Visualize a "safe place" - I even keep a picture of the beach in my car and on my desk, Breathing exercises (maybe in the stall in restroom), Pray - I keep a small Bible and numerous small cards with Biblical sayings on my desk and in my book bag, Mediate, Read Poetry, read a book, listen to sounds (ocean waves, birds, etc,) Take a walk, Go to MaleSurvivor, write in a journal, take my meds, and sometimes try to ride it out!

I hope and Pray that something here works for you!

PEACE!

TJ
 
Hi Lupin111.

I'd go along with much of what TeeJayUU has said but would like to add for me, I've noticed that when I start to experience doubt that I have travelled any distance along the path of recovery and when I feel life isn't worth living, I isolate myself and try to ride it out, get my head round it, etc.

But I've found that if I can reach out to someone I trust and who is aware of my past and the issues I have and if they notice I'm not attending college, or when I'm there I keep myself to myself, they help me to notice my process, this is usually done by saying something like Mark I'm noticing you are withdrawing, how are you doing? (this being discussed when I feel okay).

The support of someone who cares for me, never ceases to amaze me and usually stops me diving into deep depression. I never thought I deserved to be cared for.

Hope that makes sense/helps

Warm Regards

Mark S
 
It is good to talk to someone if you can.

I have to wait a week or a few days to tell my T but then I am also lucky to have that outlet.

I don't talk to my partner much about it though more than I used to. I've tried to do that a little bit more at a time and that has been working but I still don't trust him entirely. Sometimes I get really uncomfortable with him and know that he is triggering an emotional memory, his bigness, I think, both in terms of physicality and assertiveness.

It doesn't make sense really but I often see a potential perp or the reminder of a perp in just about everyone.

Its been that way for a long time. I am still using the copying strategies I used as a child the foremost of which is disassociation. Fortunately, usually when I employ that now its just a sort of tuning out but not completely out.
People are used to me being quiet and reserved so usually don't notice much except perhaps that I am just a little quieter than usual. Sometimes, afterwards, I realize that the feeling is a feeling of being invisible, not really there, viewing it all from a few feet away.

I spend a lot of time by myself, even at work though that is the most 'populated' evironment I am in.

That helps me because people and what they do or don't do, say or don't say, how I interpret or comprehend what they say and do, is what triggers feelings of panic, despair, hopelessness in me.

There are times when I have little interest in doing things, whether around the house or at work.

My partner is tolerant, even seems to sometimes encourage this at home. I have gradually honed in on a sort of job that suits my needs and now work with people who have relatively low expectations but still value what I do very highly (though I have compromised in that I am paid relatively little).

Still, I take medications to modify practically all the extreme emotions I have experienced--depression, mood swings, anxiety, difficulty sleeping.

And, I've been working with therapists for a long time on how to live more happily in the world.

Finally, I've come to know over the years that the down moods or periods of great anxiety, just like the up moods and periods of relative calm, don't last.

Acceptance of this has gone a long way towards modifying the inclination I have towards judging my behavior and modifying the pressure I have put on myself to change the way I react to things.

The way I react is perfectly normal and understandable. If people don't get it, then they are (the child in me wants to say) 'just stupid.'
 
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