How do I stop this?

How do I stop this?
O

onlyakid

A customer came into the store that I worked for and wanted his PC upgraded to Windows XP from 98. Well I did that for him. What I didn't do is check to see if his programs worked. Didn't dawn on me since when we upgrade operating systems we usually erase the pc and the customer has to reload programs. Anyway, he comes to pick it up and asks if all his programs work, I of course panic and lie to him telling him that he shouldn't have any problems. As luck would have it, his programs don't work. He came back to the store angry (I wasn't there) today. I had the day off till 2pm to do something, and out of fear that he'd pick up his PC and I'd have to deal with him, I took the rest of the day off.

How do I not panic and lie to people (customers, bosses, my mom, etc)? Anybody have any expierence with this?

Jason
 
Jason,

Buddy, I'm 48 years old and I can tell you from experience that I know what you are going through. It doesn't mean that you are a liar.

We all panic in times of stress, especially if we perceive ourselves as the cause of the stress (you not telling him about the programs). It's just like you said, you panic, and in a panic situation you can only think of survival. He just caught you off guard, Jason. You're still a decent guy.

You may be like myself and probably others here. I use to panic real easily over "stupid" stuff after my last SA experience. I calmed down though, over time when I realized that I was finally safe and I was not going to be used or abused again. I was also, and sometimes still am, real defensive in stressful situations. Like attack first before they can attack you. Again these are usually things that have been blown out of porportion in my mind. Maybe it's the abuse, but I think a lot of it is human nature, Jason.

Do you have a therapist? Ask him/her. I'm sure they can give you MUCH better advice and a more insightful answer.

Good Luck, buddy,
 
Jason - if it happens again, just say 'Shit - I mustn't have saved the changes'. The customer will probably be mad, but they might also be human & let you resolve the issue. Saying it's OK when it's not is something we are all guilty of (I did it for 32-35 years).

Best wishes ...Rik
 
It's never too late to tell the truth, your heart will be lighter.
 
Jason, I hate telling people the "wrong things" because i'm such a perfectionist. Dealing with the public is an unthankable position. You do the right thing, but dont get recognition (most cases) but do the "wrong" thing and get more recognition than you care to have. That guy wanting to upgrade his pc from 98 to xp, then expecting you to know if his programs work - of course they work! If the program is compatible with XP, it will work. You werent wrong. It's THEIR problem when they use software incompatible with their operating system. You cant possibly sort through his software and stress test his programs. He is but another example of someone wanting the world for little money.
Whats funny is how you handled it so similarly to how I have (would have) handled conflict: avoidance. You just know you'll be verbally attacked for fear of 1) short circuiting and doing something irrational (like punch the guys lights out) or 2) bearing misery as you listen to this stranger berate you.
 
Jason,

You panicked and lied. We have all been there. Sometimes it even works. But most of the time it only makes things worse.

Admitting your mistakes will often (not always) bring you honor. But getting caught in a lie will definitely always brings disgrace. Accepting that fact as a fundamental truth will help to keep you honest.

This isnt an issue of morality. It is an issue of the most effective way to cover your butt when inevitable mistakes happen. Misdirection works better for politicians than it does for computer repairmen. Politicians have ever so much more practice. Never EVER lie about something that is provable!

How do you stop? I am not sure. But I think that considering the comparative consequences is a good start.

Aden
 
been there done that - i hate when that happens -
tell the truth - it roland is right - if you 'cop' to it - it will make your customer and you feel better - if he goes ballistic -
that's more about him than it is you -
accidents happen -
maybe offer to deliver it to his home when it's ready - so as not to further inconvenience him -
?
m
 
Wait a minute J, if you didnt know for a fact that his programs wouldnt work then you didnt lie.

edit:______________

I see, I forgot about the erasing part. Well you made a mistake, that's not a big deal. Still, all you said was:
he shouldn't have any problems
Click to expand...
that does not sound like a written guarantee to me.
______________________

But more importantly, I want to take a step back for a moment and tilt your perspective. As victims, we are caught up in how things make us feel, but what are the chances (one in four actually) that this guy is also a victim of childhood sexual abuse? If that were the case he could be feeling, just like many of us do, that when things dont go his way, it must be because the world is out to get him and everyone is out to cheat and take advantage of him that this happened.

Jason, Im in no way saying you should feel responsible for this guys feelings, but maybe if you look at him like hes one of us, then maybe it would be easier and more comfortable for you to tell him you in no way intentionally meant to mislead him and it may allow you to be compassionate about his anger rather then frightened by it.

Just a thought, let me know what you think.
 
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