How can I be the only one who knows?
NewGerasene
Registrant
How can I be the only one who knows my mother was a sexual abuser?
I grew up in a household, at least until I was 13, of 3 sons and both parents. Then big brother moved away and Dad moved out.
My mother molested me and emotional incest was also there. My brothers remember nothing like that, and say it didn't happen. My father and brothers suggest with great sympathy that my mind has created this story to cover up for other feelings.
But I've worked on this for years now. I've been in therapy, done group stuff, read and journalled. If anything, my conviction has grown only stronger. My memories and other pieces just add up. My brothers have remembered certan things, but quickly added that it wasn't abuse. (She told one to remove his towel so she could see him naked when he came out of the shower, and the other she pinched his upper thigh telling him how sexy he was.)
She was a highly respected member of our community; she really did do a lot of good work, helping lots of people.
I myself didn't recognize her treatment of me (us?) as abuse until I was in my 30s. She died over 10 years ago.
So, as far as I know, the only people who knew what she did were the ones in our household. And maybe she treated me differently. Both brothers say I was her favourite.
It hit me today. Maybe my father knew, but if so, he never acknowledged it. In fact, he said, in essence, I was making it up. He's dead now. So is Mom. My brothers say it never happened.
So am I the only one who knows my mother was abuser? (Odd moment...as I was typing that, I thought to quickly check the sex offender registry, but that would make NO sense. I know she was never convicted or even reported. In fact, maybe I'm the only one who ever had anything to report.)
I grew up in a household, at least until I was 13, of 3 sons and both parents. Then big brother moved away and Dad moved out.
My mother molested me and emotional incest was also there. My brothers remember nothing like that, and say it didn't happen. My father and brothers suggest with great sympathy that my mind has created this story to cover up for other feelings.
But I've worked on this for years now. I've been in therapy, done group stuff, read and journalled. If anything, my conviction has grown only stronger. My memories and other pieces just add up. My brothers have remembered certan things, but quickly added that it wasn't abuse. (She told one to remove his towel so she could see him naked when he came out of the shower, and the other she pinched his upper thigh telling him how sexy he was.)
She was a highly respected member of our community; she really did do a lot of good work, helping lots of people.
I myself didn't recognize her treatment of me (us?) as abuse until I was in my 30s. She died over 10 years ago.
So, as far as I know, the only people who knew what she did were the ones in our household. And maybe she treated me differently. Both brothers say I was her favourite.
It hit me today. Maybe my father knew, but if so, he never acknowledged it. In fact, he said, in essence, I was making it up. He's dead now. So is Mom. My brothers say it never happened.
So am I the only one who knows my mother was abuser? (Odd moment...as I was typing that, I thought to quickly check the sex offender registry, but that would make NO sense. I know she was never convicted or even reported. In fact, maybe I'm the only one who ever had anything to report.)