How and What??

How and What??

Momma50

New Registrant
How and what do i say to my son?? i am not sure he was sexually abused. I asked him if anyone had touched him when we were watching a tv show about 5 years ago, he said no. I think back to his high school years, and he became very depressed, walking with his head down and dragging his feet, it was like the life had gone out of him. I thought it was just high school. when he was growing up his grandmother on both sides belittled him and compared him to other grandchildren. At this point he will admit he has no emotions, he has his wall up. His dad was dead even before he knew what a dad was, and I have had medical problems his whole life. He doesn't know what its like to have a physically healthy mom or a dad. he has had to take on the responsibity of an adult so he really didn't have a childhood. even tho he seems to have adapted well, there is a reason he has shut off his emotions, I just don't know wether its because of sexual abuse or his grandmothers verbal abuse or my own lack of awareness. I was going to buy the book off e-bay my mike Lew victims no longer, and my son saw it, instead of confronting me and asking why are you gonna buy that?, he left the place where we were at on the computer, came home, stayed in his room awhile, came out and in passing said, you know mom you should be a therptist,(which he knows I am interested in) was this a strange reaction?? or am I seeing something thats not there?? and If it was a strange reaction, how and what do I say to him to get the truth out so I can help him or get him the help that he needs. I sooo don't want him to go through his life in denial or with his wall up. Any thoughts/feedback are very helpful.
 
Momma50,

It sounds like your son did not get the nurturing and encouragement that a kid really needs as he's growing up. The reasons for this can get very complicated and I'm not blaming you - just commenting on what you have said in your post.

If that's the case, then he should seek professional help to identify any unresolved issues he has from that time, whether abuse issues or issues revolving around other things.

But if you have issues as well, then you too should seek help in sorting them out. It may be that your son is looking for you to lead the way here.

A parallel would be a married couple in which one partner is in deep difficulty, but finds it easier to seek and accept help if the other partner is seeking similar support as well. As we all know, it isn't an easy thing to just march off to a therapist! There are all sorts of ways that we use to convince ourselves of something that's been true for years: it's time!

Much love,
Larry
 
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