Hope this sounds OK

[reality2k4]

I guess I came to these boards for one thing, to be validated
but mostly to break the hurt of the silence which caused so
much hurt for most of my life.

It is so much more difficult for older guys to admit they are
hurting, and the younger guys thinking, whoa! Is this what lies
ahead in my future?

I tend to back off posting my hurt, because nobody outside of
this part of the planet could know what it really is, adn I
mean just that!

I cannot relate to some of the younger guys hurt in this place
but I can still care, and yes I do.
So, to the younger guys here, yes, these are really difficult
and emotionally charged times for you.

Posting about the hurt you feel should never be embarrassing
and nor should you feel wrong for doing it.
I think that we can all say we share the same goal in life,
and that is to talk out some of our own hurt with others who
care.

So, the older guys have problems, and yes, I do, mainly because
the medical profession does not give me the chance to dig
myself out, but dig you must, and get the right medical
professional help possible.

It is hugely embarrassing for a young person to relate to this
stuff, it is hard also for me, when I dont get the right
support from medical "professionals".

I just get to a point when embarrassment has taken its toll
over many years, through my childhood, my teens and most of
my adult life, and now it is difficult to embarass me in a
professional setting, even though they tried it.

I was a terrified little kid when I saw this psyche doc, then he
sends this report to me, saying that he just told me to seek
my own help!
What sort of help was that!

He says I was mildly anxious, when I was pretty much traumatized
and then he misses most of the relevant points I put to him.
He said, I had reasonably good eye contact, and yes, I would
do that, to just think, do you read between the lines!

Can you not see the hurt, or is it masked, I am asking you
with my eyes to validate me.
So now I pull your letter to pieces and present it how it
should be, after two years of waiting to see you.

It is a pity when we have to diagnose ourselves with what we
need, but that is how it goes in this country,

ste

 

[JAAY]

ste,

Your posting makes a great deal of sense for me. I think that as grow older more isolated we feel. I do not think that mental health professional has a clue. The people I hung out with have children and are not able to lend a listening ear. It seems to repeat a cycle of self-blame "this is because of me". I am trying to move forward and I know I must let go of thinking. We are strong people because we would not have made it this far. I have a history of worrying about others and taking care of them before me. I have to change because I need to create my own happiness.

You can over come this. I know that I have to change my protective behaviors that worked great for me as a child and become the adult I was destined to be. Good luck!

 

[roadrunner]

Ste,

That report doesn't surprise me, and its contents confirm your earlier opinion that the man who interviewed you didn't know much about CSA. We need to talk about this, but I really think you need to insist to your GP that you be referred to a proper therapist.

Actually, perhaps that interviewer should seek some help as well!

Much love,
Larry

 

[John Oarc]

Validation, man that word speaks volumes.