Hope in strange ways ?

Hope in strange ways ?
R

RICK57

Registrant
Hello again -

Now that I'm at the stage where I can actually see that I am out of the pit (or at the top looking over, rather than at the bottom looking for daylight), I'd like to share something that happened in December 2003 & find out what perspective any of you can put upon it!

*I am not religious, but have no difficulty with appreciating opinions with a religious slant (whatever the religion).

Just after Dec 18th 2003 (the day I new I'd finally cracked up), I forced myself to go to Newcastle-upon-Tyne to Christmas Shop (loads of presents for nephews, nieces, god children etc to buy). I was like a robot and having little success. I walked into a tacky Christmas Shop that was selling cheap (and mostly nasty - but the thought was there) christmas cards and decorations.

I'd just about had enough and said LOUDLY TO MYSELF.....'GIVE ME STRENGTH'..... I looked up and read a card near me that said something about lots of love (getting tired, but hope to remember it better) ...looked across the shop & the next card I read was 'To Son from Mam & Dad' - they are both dead .... why did I look in that direction, when I had just been looking at my feet and couldn't be bothered to raise my head?

There are other instances, that are similar.... coincidence, wishful thinking or?

Rik.
 
A psychiatrist would tell you that you saw it out of the corner of your eye or in a flash when you looked or moved around and your subconscious drew you back to them. I myself, do not hold much faith in psychiatrists or psychologists other than in their ability to listen and to help people to understand better what they are feeling.
 
Okay, I will share something here that sounds quite insane (and if you knew me better, you would know that is often quite what I am!)

Shortly after dealing with all this, I attempted to end myself, taking a lot of pills. And I started throwing up, and even then, was trying to swallow them again. And maybe it was the pills, maybe it was being sick, maybe it was being in panic or such. But I swear I saw like an angel, who was telling me it was not my time to do that. It was not my time to leave. And it calmed me some, and it helped me to find the ability to not do that and get help at that time.

Several months later, my uncle found a picture of my brother that my mother and I did not remember even existed (he died when I was four, he was two, and my father got rid of all his things and pictures). When she sent me the picture, it was him. It was the 'angel' I thought I had seen. So now I know that he is still with me, and I know that, ultimately, there is something or someone very good and wondrous at work in this universe. Sometime it is hard to find that, and know that. But I keep better faith in it now, after all that.

(Okay, laugh at me now, it's okay)
Leosha
 
Thanks - Mike & Leosha.

Leosha - there's no way that I would laugh at what you have written. I have had similar experiences in the past when I have most needed it. Thanks for being brave enough to share.

Best wishes ..Rik
 
Rick,

I think that sometimes when we are down and needing and subconciously looking for a sign, we will find it. Maybe it is coincidence, maybe a hand from above, maybe our hope showing through, but whatever it is; It is a good thing.

Hope is a good thing and around us at all times. Something that we should always see, yet sometimes eludes us.

Take care,
Bill
 
There are little things that have happened when I had faith even though I did not believe anything good would happen. By that i mean I accepted God's will. To be quite honest I do not do that easily or often. I push and trudge ahead in my own way too much of the time. Faith or trust in God is a personal thing, and the incidents in my life that I know God has had a direct hand in are personal to me and may not mean that much to you. plus they are kind of hard to explain.

There is a passage in the bible,

"Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake;and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave."

The point being that God speaks in whispers. That passage comforts me. it is in first kings chapter 19 verses 11-13. It is one of the passages that meant alot when I was going through my most depressive stage.

PS this is the first time I have managed to get that bible program to work in my account. It works on the other accounts on this computer, just never before mine.
 
At one point, I was tired of all the pain I was in and decided to kill myself. I had a note written and a shell in the chamber of my Dad's .303 British. I was just about to pull the trigger when i heard a voice tell me to stop. I looked around and no one was there. I put the barrel back in my mouth and prepared to pull the trigger when the voice spoke again. It said, "You are loved and it is not your time to go. You have work still to do." This startled me, and I began to cry. I prayed for God's help
and with in a few weeks, I was able to move out of the town I hated, and a week after that I finally found a JOB. I met the woman I am falling for there, and life has slowly improved sinse that day.
I know that story sounds nuts, but it is what really happened. I am still working on my relationship with the higher power, but I am certain if he/she did not intervene I would not be here today.
Casey
 
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