Hope and Encouragement
MrDon
Registrant
As many up here know, I am in massage therapy school. While this is a personal endeavor and process, it has been a very difficult learning process for me because of my survivor issues that I face. For me to be touched and begin to learn what touch actually means as well as transferring that over to another body and a person, came out of a great deal of growth within myself.
Tonight was my final practical exam where I worked on an instructor (doing all the massage techniques) for 30 minutes with an instructor watching and both of them graded it. Well just to toot my own horn, I got a 93% which I am just pleased as purple punch about. I really can't believe I have made it through this and I think back to 11 months ago when a bruised, scared guy entered this school. I really can't believe I made it this far.
But my instructor made the comment to me that she realizes I have body issues and boundary issues with my body and yet she said, you have come so far and moved beyond so many things that she said I could be very proud of myself. She was the one that scared me the most and it was her that I got to work on. So now, I have worked on the two instructors that I had the most fear about.
I still have plenty of fears and if anyone is in short supply, I will gladly ship them to anyone that feels they need some fears (just kidding). I don't feel like some confident, all fixed, in control of my life type of person and in fact I often feel insecure in many ways. But one thing I have done from the day I was paraylzed until today is I keep standing up to my fears no matter how afraid I am. I just stare them straight in the eye and show them the power I have within myself. Yep, easier said than done but it is how I began to walk again, how I got past the anxiety attacks, how I got through the addiction to sex, how I was able to meet Jeff and how I made it through this school. I mean, coming from someone who was completely paralyzed back in 1991, I know it can be done! You can't convince me otherwise.
I've still got my issues that I work through and need to work through but compared to where I was just a year ago, I don't think I've seen nothing yet! There is still so much more that lies ahead of me and I will tell you all, that tomorrow and every day that I have, I'm going out there and getting what is mine in life.
As you can tell, I am so estatic and overflowing with joy right now because tonight was a big monumental step in my healing journey. Now, I'm just wondering what the next year will hold for me and where I will be in my life? Woww.... that blows my mind!
By the way, Aug 28th is my last day of classes and then hopefully by the end of September I will have my board exam completed and have my license so I can practice and make money at this! YYOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!
Just had to share this with you all and encourage you no matter how dark it looks right now, keep going - and if the batteries in your flashlight start to fade, buy a new set!
Don
Tonight was my final practical exam where I worked on an instructor (doing all the massage techniques) for 30 minutes with an instructor watching and both of them graded it. Well just to toot my own horn, I got a 93% which I am just pleased as purple punch about. I really can't believe I have made it through this and I think back to 11 months ago when a bruised, scared guy entered this school. I really can't believe I made it this far.
But my instructor made the comment to me that she realizes I have body issues and boundary issues with my body and yet she said, you have come so far and moved beyond so many things that she said I could be very proud of myself. She was the one that scared me the most and it was her that I got to work on. So now, I have worked on the two instructors that I had the most fear about.
I still have plenty of fears and if anyone is in short supply, I will gladly ship them to anyone that feels they need some fears (just kidding). I don't feel like some confident, all fixed, in control of my life type of person and in fact I often feel insecure in many ways. But one thing I have done from the day I was paraylzed until today is I keep standing up to my fears no matter how afraid I am. I just stare them straight in the eye and show them the power I have within myself. Yep, easier said than done but it is how I began to walk again, how I got past the anxiety attacks, how I got through the addiction to sex, how I was able to meet Jeff and how I made it through this school. I mean, coming from someone who was completely paralyzed back in 1991, I know it can be done! You can't convince me otherwise.
I've still got my issues that I work through and need to work through but compared to where I was just a year ago, I don't think I've seen nothing yet! There is still so much more that lies ahead of me and I will tell you all, that tomorrow and every day that I have, I'm going out there and getting what is mine in life.
As you can tell, I am so estatic and overflowing with joy right now because tonight was a big monumental step in my healing journey. Now, I'm just wondering what the next year will hold for me and where I will be in my life? Woww.... that blows my mind!
By the way, Aug 28th is my last day of classes and then hopefully by the end of September I will have my board exam completed and have my license so I can practice and make money at this! YYOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!
Just had to share this with you all and encourage you no matter how dark it looks right now, keep going - and if the batteries in your flashlight start to fade, buy a new set!
Don
I've followed your ups and downs over the last several months and read that fantastic paper you wrote for class. You really have worked hard and deserve the accolades of a job well done! I too look forward to hearing the rest of your story about what lies in the year ahead! Keep facing those fears! We are really proud of you and your achievement, Don!!
