His progress

[whiteflag]

I haven't posted in some time. But if you've read my previous posts, the relationship with my boyfriend has been difficult and painful at times due to his inability to give of himself emotionally, despite understanding the SA survivor struggle and knowing in my heart he loved me. During the past year, I set stronger boundaries for myself to protect my own sanity and not get wrapped up expectations, his healing, etc
We are currently together, despite several past breaks. He has been making slow steady progress at communicating/expressing himself (sober). His verbal expression of what I mean to him and our relationship are certainly noticeable. I cant begin to tell you how huge this is for him.
But tonight I am feeling anxious or fearful for some reason. This is what I prayed would happen for years now, him making progress, for himself, his children, and our relationship. Its not a set back I fear, I accept those. I think I fear the unknown. This healthier space we are in. Not perfect, but healthier. Very different for us. Any thoughts from anyone? Survivors?

 

[newground]

what you describe is familiar to me. I began in Therapy it was hell but it was MY hell. it was familiar,a place I knew. MANY times not I have talked to him about this kind of VOID. it is as you say not really a set back not a move forward but more a fear of what I do not know. "this place" is not familiar to me. as a survivor it can and has even driven me back to familiar ways just to find some comfort.it really is an eerie feeling. but the good news is we can become familiar with this new place and then the next and the next after that. it takes desire ,time, a lot of work. but it can happen.