Hi

[Sam167]

I may have skipped the introduction and gone right into my story I was eager to get out of my system. I've never told it to anyone in my life and I don't plan on doing so anytime soon as I'm terrified or the results of such a reveal would have on my already difficult emotional life. My story is already in the forums.

Anyway I'm new here. Don't really know what to do here, but I'm glad to be here.

Honestly it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. I know that sounds so incredibly selfish, Im definitely not happy that anything bad happened to anyone here but I'm very glad to see that men have survived and are living complete and "fixed" lives. I'm broken emotionally. I know I am, I want to find myself again. And I'm hoping talking to you faceless strangers will help. Just posting my story here made me incredibly anxious and scared. But also feels just a little lighter, I don't know the right words to explain it.

 

[Nothing Man]

Welcome Sam, even as I am sorry for the reason you are here. Indeed you are not alone and we here truly understand what you have been going through as we have walked those steps as well. I hope you will continue to post and respond. Participation helps healing, and I wish you the very best on your journey.

 

[WG]

Welcome, Sam. Yes, its frightening and very unsettling to actually give words to the trauma - as if to speak about it causes it to come alive again and stalk us. Quite the contrary. Speaking it out loud or writing about it, takes the power away from it and empowers you. You have every right to seek out help at any time - we were never given that option back then. We have it now.Let this place be where you can come and vent, read and respond. We've all had a hard life and deserve better - and it can be better. It takes work on our part since the healing and necessary changes won't happen on their own. This is where the healing begins.
I've been in therapy for 2 years now. I'm 61 and never told anyone what happened over 50 year ago. My long-suffering wife of 34 years has been supportive and my children all know now. It has been immeasurably helpful to be guided on this road by my therapist. He's skilled, sympathetic yet firm in his leading to where I need to be. Difficult and harrowing as it has been, I would never trade one moment of therapy for the world. I encourage you to look around. Read up on therapists in your area. I see you're in Western Canada - unsure just where- however, if you're in BC, look around in the greater Vancouver area. There has to be someone. Even if it means Delta or Richmond, the drive is worth it. Take the step.

 

[zookeeper]

So glad you are here and that feeling of relief is something everyone of us has known. I don't that is selfish at all. I found the experience liberating and healing. Praying it will be the same for you.
ZK

 

[Duckie]

Welcome