Thanks you for updating us as you can. Jake made a big impression on me in his time here. We are rooting for him, you and your family.
Jake will return to you and will be different. A good kind of different, but different nonetheless. He'll have more tools to use, recognize triggers and on and on as you well know. He has you at his side to walk with him - not over his head to rule him not under his foot to be trodden upon but by his side. Where you and he belong.
Thanks for the update, Rene. Too bad we don't all live near one another - we would then be able to be his "cheer" crowd upon is return. Imagine : dozens of survivors all in one place standing behind you cheering, applauding and whistling to greet our brother home.
Thanks so much @Toad. Everything is going ok for the most part. The 2 youngest are 12 and 13, a son and daughter. They really depend on their father for a great many things. I guess you don't realize what it is you are missing until it is gone. The children help mark off the days on the calendar. That makes them feel some sense of control knowing when he will be back.Hi Rene,
Thanks again for keeping us all up to date.
Please let him know we are all pulling for him.
Hope you and the kids are doing okay.
It is wonderful to see this conversation which demonstrates clearly what happens on this forum all the time. Survivors are aware of the suffering that spills into the worlds we inhabit. Talking with partners of survivors gives us an opportunity to lean into healing with people who understand this world. That we can share one another's pain is a gift. That we can support one another in healing is beautiful. And you, Rene, have engaged with all of us in a way that makes the conversation easier. Hopefully it will benefit you and Jake as you come to terms with what happened to him. Blessings to us all.
Thanks for this report Rene. It feels we're being given a window into what top notch treatment can deliver on so many levels. All of us are carrying trauma that deserves such attention and care. Unfortunately, in the real world we are often limited by available resources and the treatment on offer is occasionally mediocre. We are left to do the best we can. It saddens me that the quality of care with therapists is so spotty. Trauma is very difficult to attend to and even therapists who list "adults abused as children" as within the scope of their practice often are in way over their heads. Finding a therapist who can do this work and whom we can afford is often a challenge.
I'm happy to hear Jake is doing well in that setting. From what he has shared online, I fully expect this work will go well beyond the attack he experienced earlier this year. That is a great gift. We often carry trauma that is never addressed simply because we've found a way to manage life without addressing it. Of course, sixty days is likely not enough to resolve everything there is to address but with Pandora's Box opened, it will be clear what will need ongoing attention. Our healing journey lasts as long as it lasts... it is the beginning that can be most difficult. Going forward we need support and a light touch with ourselves... self-compassion and self-care. Blessings to you both.
Hello everyone. I see I have finally been admitted into this forum. I'm Jake's wife. I promised everyone I would register under my own profile and kept my word. Jake has been away now for a week. That's 1 week down and 7 more to go. My 2 youngest children are asking to see their father. I'm having to generalize the details to them. They ask more questions than the older ones as they are still quite dependent on their father. The rest of my children are quite independent and self-sufficient and accepted my explanations just fine.
I have much to tell Jake when he gets home. But I couldn't tell him over the phone. There are things you just have to say face to face.
Speaking of talking over the phone. Jake was not permitted to have his cell phone there. They were adamant. I remember him looking at me like that was my fault and he said, "But I'm a doctor." The administrator said, "None of the visiting residents are allowed to keep a cell phone on the premises but can use the landline if they wish." Jake was calling me every night before dinner. He's doing well on the medication and on the intensive therapy he has set up. Right now he's focusing on 3 types of therapy and is enjoying practicing meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, and running.
Although, I got used to him calling me daily, he didn't call me yesterday or today. I was a little hurt at first. But then I remembered how much of his schedule is probably filled with things to do. He must be too tired to call
I miss him tremendously.