Hi im new

Hi im new
S

shadowlife

New Registrant
Hi everyone, iv only just joined here.

Iv only recently thought about talking to others who have been through these kind of experiences.

Well heres my story, at 6 I started at a school for visually impared children, where I borded certain nights of the week, when I first arrived I was very scared of all the new surroundings and didnt have confidense but the house master (the man in charge of our living quarters) befreinded me and and helped me settle in. He was very nice and I really liked him, we were friends I thought.

I enjoyed all the attention he gave me, things like when he was helping me get dressed in the morning, or undressed in the evening or helping my in the bathroom (when the female staff werent there or busy). even when he started "teaching me games".

This continued til I was 11, I suppose I just got accustomed to it, it was part of a normal day in the end. But as I got older, I new it was a bad thing and I felt bad for doing it and allowing it to happen, I felt used because ofcourse, I was used.

I now have no confidense and little self respect, people can walk over me and I dont stand up for myself.

Id like to talk to others who feel like this or anyone who has been through this kind of thing.

PM's, emails or MSN chat is cool. Thanks for listening, it feels good to tell some one :-)
 
Glad to have you here at MS, glad you found the site and I hope you find what you are looking for, I know I did.

As for standing up for yourself, low self confidence, low self respect, people walking over you, I have lived that one and I know what you are talking about. You are not alone in your struggles, many SA survivors feel the same way. Keep posting and come back.

Again, welcome.
 
shadowlife,

Welcome to Male Survivor. That first post is a big step and I am so glad you took it. Just have a look around and get used to the place. You will find so much support here.

The confidence and self-respect issues you talk about are ones that most of us have struggled with. You aren't alone, and believe me, that reaction to abuse is entirely normal.

Much love,
Larry
 
Shadowlife - I hope you find the support you need here.

The House Master was not your friend, he groomed you for his own gratification.

I hope you find the confidence to believe that not everyone is like him. There are genuine people in this world that really can be friends with no strings attached.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Welcome aboard shadowlife.........

Dude, I sooooo understand what you're talking about when you say that "I now have no confidence and little self respect, people can walk over me and I dont stand up for myself."

I have tried to move up in my so-called career but it takes confidence and self respect to lead people, and I failed miserabely.........I laugh when I think about how others progress in life and don't have to deal with any of the shit that we have to carry around with us.

I've come to realize that my perp(s) stole my future!!!! To think of what I have not done or accomplished because of a selfish or just plain evil act!!! I just hope that God can still use me in this world despite all the problems that cripple me in so many ways.

But back to you, I want you to know that you're not alone and that I already understand from where you're coming from.
 
shadowlife cool name!
 
Hey shadowlife,

Hope you find what you are looking for here. Welcome to this place that one of the alumni here used to call "the clubhouse that none of us had when we were children".

You've found a place where the people here are, unfortunatey, all too familiar with the things you described about yourself. This is a place where you will find the understanding, love, and acceptance that can help you begin on the path to recovery.

Just sort of hang out here and get used to the place. I think you'll find that you have friends here.

Safe hugs,

John
 
Shadowlife,

You say:
thanks alot its nice to know people understand what im feeling
Click to expand...
The reason we understand is because we have lived it.

Love ya

Darrel
 
Welcome, Shadowlife. It's a good place with good people. We'll help any way we can. We're also good at listening, and that's a good thing. Bobby
 
Welcome to Male Survivor hope you get the help you need to grow and heal. lots of great people here. Best of Luck. Tom
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top