Hi, I'm Forrest Gump

[EGL]

One of the major areas of impact to many survivors is the issue of TRUST. I know my mind has been severely impacted because of multiple episodes of abuse (physical abuse from my father, sexual abuse from my brother, infidelity by my first wife with my brother, etc.).

A rational mind would think I would be the most suspicious, untrusting persons to walk the earth. But I'm not. I'm Forrest Gump. I think I trust people much too quickly, without trying to discern their motives. When I see strangers in public places, I'm leery of them, but as soon as I establish any kind of contact through conversation, I immediately let my defences down and am vulnerable. Why is that? Example: My wife and I have been married 16 years now. We met each other through a blind date, and 4 weeks later I asked her to marry me.

My wife has told me numerous times that I do not have the "spiritual gift of discernment", i.e., I'm clueless when others are taking advantage of me. I feel so dense. Anyone else like this?

 

[cpt. confusion]

Eddie,
I know exactly wha tyou mean, cause i think i am the same way... I do tend to trust people pretty easily, and i dont know why. it might be becasue i avoid confrontation, and i feel like if i trust people, then i won't have to disagree of argue with them maybe... or it also might be that i am jus ttoo nice, and many people have told me that. I give of myself time and time again, even if it doesnt come back to me in return, but i keep giving, thinking that maybe one day it will be appreciated, or that because i appreciate what others do for me, i will be appreciated for what i do for others... but it doesnt always work out that way. i do get taken advatage of, quite a bit. but i'm too nice.. i dont want to confront people, and i want people to like me... but much of the time i just end up wondering if they are being fake. but i agree that trust should be harder for us since we have been through issues around trust, but for whatever reason i still give into it too easily as well...

cpt.

 

[lee75]

EGL,

I see the same problems in myself. i tend to trust people that dont deserve my trust and the people that do, i push away or treat badly. i think sometimes that i do it so i dont have to have any confrontation, i dont do well with that. i will almost do anything to avoid confronting anyone. even people who i should be able to have a normal argument with. i just say ok and walk off, just as angry as can be and scared to death that i will have to deal with it sometime.

i used to confront quite easily. i was super angry and now it seems im going to the other extreme. i dont like it, but its hard.

thanks for the topic. its something ive had feelings about for a while.

best,
lee

 

[Leosha]

I think I have been ambiguity in this. Partly, I have been exceptionally naive, allowing others to misuse me and mislead me very much. Then, when I am hurt by it, I go into defense posturing, and do not at all allow people in to me for some period of time. I am still right now overcoming a rather large betrayal by a 'friend'. So I am more in the suspicious mind frame I think.

Leosha