???? hi! im blake im new here ????
i was trying to write this post when i got the email about the recording contract, this is to i ronnic (being 8 ppl including myself where almost killed in an 8 car and truck pile up due to road rage tonight). long story ill tell that one later.
life is funny in the twist and turns it plays in our lives. for me i have been seeing the last chapter in my life closing with no sign of a new chapter begianing for me.
i had two flashbacks back to back the other night. not really bad but not good at the same time. i used to thing all flashbacks where bad, the way they make us feel and all. but, i am finding that flashbacks as bad as they may be are really nothing more than what we can handle at the time, and that makes it a very good thing if what we see, feel, remember, ext is treated and or used in the right way with respect. i got these two flashbacks while listening to two songs (lol songs) that reminded me of one what all really happened when i had my over dose, and the second song of my destruction during that time to my life. I would drive 90 miles with little to no money to go to a gay night club. there where many bad things there, but i didnt care at the time. i was doing everything i could to destroy my life. but this is where the flashback also became a very good thing too. i made some good friends in the bigger city. friends from a group called P-flag. after my flashbacks i thought things throu again and then called my friends on the phone. we had not spoken in almost a year or so. i thanked them for saving me, when i thought no one cared they pulled me back far enough to keep form going over the edge. it was not much that they did or said but it was done and said at the same time.
i know i must go back to that club. not to party or see any one person or to even dance or drink or more, but to say a finial good bye to that chapter in my life. i also know i need to do the same to my perps. i know where one is and he is still there. i will not talk to him in person but i will go there, in the street, and say bye the other two will be harder for me i think. one i have no clue where she is and the other is dead. but i will say bye to all of them and all of the hate, and so fourth.
i will still be here at the site. yes i was gone for a long time...not too long like i had thought but just long enough. that chapter is closed and done this is a new chapter for me. so yes im blake and yes im new here.
i had half of this written when i got the email and so i deleted it and wrote my other post. i got so wound up in the news i was not thinking straight. i will not post the new songs as they are at this time, not untill i see what the contract says and see if that is all fine and dandy. i will tell you im inpressed that three of my songs have been slected to be used. i dont know what all this will intail for me or where my life will take me next...
i am finding that i am a free spirit. im like the wind in so many ways. well, the wind just changed and so did my life. ill find out where it takes me when i get there. for the first time, i cant wait till i get there and i aint scared. no im calm and relaxxed. why fight my spirit, to hold myself back in life.
"I'm like the wind, just a free spirit in the sands of time."
life is funny in the twist and turns it plays in our lives. for me i have been seeing the last chapter in my life closing with no sign of a new chapter begianing for me.
i had two flashbacks back to back the other night. not really bad but not good at the same time. i used to thing all flashbacks where bad, the way they make us feel and all. but, i am finding that flashbacks as bad as they may be are really nothing more than what we can handle at the time, and that makes it a very good thing if what we see, feel, remember, ext is treated and or used in the right way with respect. i got these two flashbacks while listening to two songs (lol songs) that reminded me of one what all really happened when i had my over dose, and the second song of my destruction during that time to my life. I would drive 90 miles with little to no money to go to a gay night club. there where many bad things there, but i didnt care at the time. i was doing everything i could to destroy my life. but this is where the flashback also became a very good thing too. i made some good friends in the bigger city. friends from a group called P-flag. after my flashbacks i thought things throu again and then called my friends on the phone. we had not spoken in almost a year or so. i thanked them for saving me, when i thought no one cared they pulled me back far enough to keep form going over the edge. it was not much that they did or said but it was done and said at the same time.
i know i must go back to that club. not to party or see any one person or to even dance or drink or more, but to say a finial good bye to that chapter in my life. i also know i need to do the same to my perps. i know where one is and he is still there. i will not talk to him in person but i will go there, in the street, and say bye the other two will be harder for me i think. one i have no clue where she is and the other is dead. but i will say bye to all of them and all of the hate, and so fourth.
i will still be here at the site. yes i was gone for a long time...not too long like i had thought but just long enough. that chapter is closed and done this is a new chapter for me. so yes im blake and yes im new here.
i had half of this written when i got the email and so i deleted it and wrote my other post. i got so wound up in the news i was not thinking straight. i will not post the new songs as they are at this time, not untill i see what the contract says and see if that is all fine and dandy. i will tell you im inpressed that three of my songs have been slected to be used. i dont know what all this will intail for me or where my life will take me next...
i am finding that i am a free spirit. im like the wind in so many ways. well, the wind just changed and so did my life. ill find out where it takes me when i get there. for the first time, i cant wait till i get there and i aint scared. no im calm and relaxxed. why fight my spirit, to hold myself back in life.
"I'm like the wind, just a free spirit in the sands of time."