Hi I am new here

[HBUL]

I am new here and not sure really what to say. I told a friend about some stuff that happened to me and she told me I should come to this site. There is a lot of stuff to read here its kind of overwhelming. A little about me...I am in my mid-20s and live in the US and have not finished college but am still taking classes from time to time and I live with one of my brothers.

 

[Ceremony]

Hi HBUL, welcome. It's good you've noted a friend, and I'm hoping you've others. I wish I had more direct friends, but it's good to build up connections to the brothers here. The fraternity is with sad participation, but has moments of progress to cheer on. I hope you'll get to know how to navigate the site. If you'll take some time to read about things going on to help you, that alone can be helpful and encouraging. Start at the home page.

Learn there are other resources located before each forum list of threads like you can see here, for "Male Survivors".

Sometimes you might want to search for something, and across the top is a Search tab. Put in a key word of just like this +EMDR +therapy and all the threads that someone wrote those two words will appear. Not always together, but it's a start.

I read how to find a therapist early on here, I really needed one, but was not sure I wanted one. The guys helped me get past that and eventually I did find one. I've not stayed with him though, I've big time money concerns. I also just had partial knee replacement surgery last Thursday. There's going to be a bit more of Ceremony on MS for the foreseeable future.

I hope that soon, I'll get back on my feet, literally, and get a job that I need. One thing I've had trouble with my whole life is feeling worthy to have good things, to be loved, that I'm lovable. So, that's been a struggle. I've written a ton, and I've been journaling too. I'm not quite as prolific at journaling as I am at posting. It took me a while to get more comfortable. I think about 3 months and it took me through a deep dip to depression over the nasty holidays. I hope you'll find your voice and express yourself as you see fit. Most will say to take your time. I think it's also about knowing what to say? The more I've written, the more I'm finding what to say.

Best wishes new friend.

 

[HBUL]

thanks ceremony for all that information

 

[Elad1]

Welcome HBUL

I'm sorry for what happened to you yet I'm glad your friend recommended this site to you. More importantly you have taken a brave step in understanding, searching and dealing with some horrible things you may be dealing with. So take your time here, ask questions, we are here with you and understand you are not alone.

 

[svssurvivor]

Welcome HBUL,

I'm new here too and have found this place to be a saviour to me. Get to know everyone and write how you feel. Don't be scared. I know it's a little daunting to start but we all sail in a similar boat. And that brought us here.

Take care and we're all friends when you need us.

 

[manipulated]

HBUL

Welcome. So sorry for what brings us here. Yes the site is overwhelming at first but posting, visiting chat, reading is the way to go. Be comfortable. Don't force it. You will find your voice. Just know you are NOT alone. Men here have walked paths similar to yours and have tansitioned from survivor to thriver.

 

[HBUL]

Thanks Elad, svssurivor and manipulated

 

[Shyshark]

Hi HBUL ...

We have already met in chat and I enjoyed talking with you.


It is a little overwhelming at first but that will soon wear off and you will find yourself in a family you never dreamed existed.
This is a great place to be.

Welcome.

Sharky

 

[woodenshoes]

HBUL

Welcome sorry you need to be part of this club. I hope you find the support I have. Great guys here.

Ws

 

[Ceremony]

I read the part of your story that you shared HBUL. I'm sorry the safety of your past was taken from you.
TRIGGERS
I think sexualizing a boy with molestation and rape makes life's burdens loom with mysterious difficulty. To me, already an introvert, the trauma I had led to my life being hyper vigilance, fear and ready to flee or submit to fate. I wouldn't stick up for myself, show an assertiveness for my wellbeing. And no wonder, it was taken from me, and you, and us. There is a lot of work to be done to take back our lives, and it's good to get the trauma out. I'm glad MS has given me, and you, us, that opportunity. It's shown to be safe in my time here, and we would band together to face any need. This place has become a band of brothers, and supporters.

Brother HBUL, keep at it, and hopefully you're finding more support than some, and share with that/those person/s. The outsiders aren't ready to handle it any more than we are/were, but if they're willing to go along for the journey of healing with us, I think that's wonderful. I need that too.

I'm glad you found a voice to share that part of your survivor story.

Best wishes.

 

[KMCINVA]

HBUL

I am sorry you have to be here but happy you found your way to place that will give you support and not judge. Take your time, share when you are comfortable. Remember we all react differently to the abuse and we all heal in our own way. It is important you feel safe, safe in sharing and living in a safe environment.

I wish you the best on this journey to heal.

Kevin

 

[HBUL]

Thank you guys for your comments. I wasnt sure if I should post my story here or the other forum and I had to stop writing as it was getting too difficult. I was going to add more but it wont let me now does anyone know why?

 

[Ceremony]

Hi HBUL, the Survivor Stories is less a FORUM than a place to honor our stories. It's set up so there isn't any commenting, rather, it's there to refer to, and to link to in our signature. A lot of us do that, like me. We can spread out other thread that deal with the many layers of our ptsd and need, and have the story as an anchor of part of our life. It's possible that the story as is will have as much impact as is needed for the part you shared. Please write a pt2 and pt3 if you wish to add more, I'm pretty sure it's possible to link in the stories, just take the time with to add the previous story and then stories if that's what you do? Let me know if there's more you want to know?

 

[Donald177]

HBUL,

Welcome to MS. Like many have already said, I am sorry that you have to be here, but I am glad you have found this site to help in your healing process. You will find that there are lots of wonderful men here willing to help you heal by offering great encouragement and advice. I have been here a short period of time and I have healed so much in my recovery. Please share as you feel comfortable and take your time in doing so. Feel free to message me anytime.

Many blessings,
Donald

 

[HBUL]

I have now been a member of MS for just over a month and thought I would share my experience so far.

First and foremost, thanks to many different guys on here for making me feel welcome and understanding more about how our early experience may have affected each of us differently. I had no clue what to expect when I signed up, and I have found some guys with a somewhat similar experience as me, and others that have had much different experiences and situations.

In addition to posting in forums about my situation and replying to other posts, I have never been in a chat situation before, so that seems like a nice feature but is very new to me, so I am still not real comfortable sharing my stuff with the whole group. I have found most guys to be helpful, but have also had a situation where one guy was not being really nice to me, and rather than getting mad, other guys have shared with me that loneliness or other things may just cause people to act mean at times, so I am trying to just understand that everyone is feeling different stuff (emotions I guess), and for me I have never been a very emotional person so I am learning that what happened to me might be a reason for that.

I am not really sure if this is the right section to post this one month update, but hopefully it is ok. Again, thanks to the many guys who have been nice and helpful.

Henry

 

[manipulated]

Thanks for the update HBUL. Glad you found most of us welcoming and if it was my off day I apologize. MS has been a bedrock for the progress I have made and people like you continue to help it improve.

 

[HBUL]

Thanks for the response Manipulated and you have been great to me so thank you very much.

 

[Free Radical]

Thanks for the update. That is thoughtful and brave of you to do this. It's more than I could do, I think, to evaluate and report w/o shame. Thanks for being here.

These guys are great. I hope too that I wasn't the one who was thoughtless.